stubbs

Anyone else feel guilty for not feeling as motivated on projects around the house or similar situations since you quit drinking?I have a hard time getting started on such things.With beer it made it easier I guess.I know my sobriety is #1 but damn I just can't seem to get motivated!

Saliena

The only thing you have to feel guilt over is drinking. So, what if you didn't get all the projects done. They will still be there... atleast you didn't drink.

I remember the projects I "attempted" when drinking... Ironing... BRILLENT idea. NOT... I still have those scares to prove it!! Vaccuming... one time I sucked my cat out from under the bed... lol... poor thing has been scared of the vacuum from that day on.

LOL... Don't be so hard on yourself. Focus on yourself and your needs. If the projects aren't on that list. Don't stress... they will still be there when they do make the list!

SNST

I dont know if its guilt I feel, but I do feel aggravation. I have no motivation or energy for anything, I just now sat down to take a break after vacuuming 1 room It makes me feel terrible about myself to have to force myself to do things that came so natural before, then need several breaks after I get started. Ive been off Opiates for 38 days hoping this gets better soon

Nuudawn

I hear ya Stubbs. I only have a week of sobriety under my belt but I'm pretty lethargic with respect to chores and such..both at home and in my office. I'm at my office right now with a million things I could be doing..but I'm babbling about here on SR. Ah well...who cares..these are early, early days and I'm confident all will fall into place. Yes, I'm kicking myself a little regarding my procrastination...but this too shall pass. I'm positive of it. We are healing..and that takes a heck of a lot of energy.

Soberpotamus

Omg! Haha!! I have three cats so I can imagine doing this... poor cat!!

Soberpotamus

Yes, it can be hard to find motivation... but ya know, I think non-drinkers go through this too I mean, we all do really...

Being sober is what's important. All things will balance themselves out if we put forth an effort... patience, practice, persistence.

stubbs

Yeah your all probably right,thank you for the little lift of my guilt.I just get overwhelmed sometimes with it all.Chores,projects and 60 hours a week at work and no beer to help relax and unwind gets to a guy I guess....But sticking it out one day at a time

stubbs

What to do when spouse is putting the guilt trip on you for being lazy around house and not gett

stubbs

Ing the projects done?I feel guilty enough without her saying things.I just have no ambition to do a thing lately.I told her I would grab some beer and get to work.

ru12

Hi stubbs. Cut yourself a little slack here. You are early in your sobriety. Give yourself some time to heal.

stubbs

Thank you ru12,
That's what I'm trying to explain to her.I feel very depressed at times and home projects are the last thing I want to do.Heck fun things in life sound like no fun.I need some advice on this one guys.....

Ladybug2

Hi Stubbs, does your wife know how hard this is for you? You are not alone. I have been experiencing the same lack of motivation, energy, etc., not to mention the wicked mood swings and irritability! I finally just told my husband that it is going to take time before I am "normal" again. At least we are not drinking! Our spouses will see a much happier, healthier and productive spouse in time

OneLessLonely

I agree some out and out honesty that what you're doing is actually hard work and you need to listen to your body is important. I wouldn't allow the tension or difficulty to become an excuse to drink, or become a passive aggressive joke. Being open and honest is the only way to get anywhere. It won't always be like this. You both need to give it time to work.

stubbs

I am not sure if she knows how hard this is.it is very hard for me though.I really want to stay sober though.I am going to do whatever I can do to keep sober.

UpForIt

Hi Stubbs- I read a lot on here about those without the addiction not understanding and I guess I didn't believe it until today. I'm on day 2 (again) and being asked what my plan is. I don't think they liked hearing that I was going to get out of bed, try to keep food down, hopefully mow the lawn, and not drink. The last one being the key today. I think everyone on here could understand me not having the counselor picked out, the books I want to read ordered, and all the changes for my new plan figured out in hour 32 of withdrawal.

That's why this place is great. Best to you. I'll be sitting on the couch watching masterchef sweating this evening!

OneLessLonely

Tell her.

She may not understand but you can't expect her to even try unless you tell her.

Soberpotamus

Tell her, and keep repeating yourself. I do this with my husband

stubbs

I've explained it to her how I feel already,I think she just can't grasp the severity of it.I really want to change my life.I don't need this extra pressure from her at all.
Well hope she comes around,enjoy ur show upforit...don't sweat to much .Thank you all for the words.Until tmw,take care...

Nighthawk8820

How long have you been sober? At the start, you will have mood swings and days where you are just plain tired. Your body has SO much work to do in healing the damage you have caused, those house chores can wait. Take it easy on yourself and limit your stress level as much as you can. This is a delicate time. Dont live in your head, as your mind will play tricks and be all over the place. Dont place too much emphasis on your thoughts, except the commitment to stay sober. Everything you think and feel will pass.

fantail

I felt that way up until very recently. First three months for sure.

Have you done much reading about the physical effects alcohol has on the brain? It might be helpful for you and your wife to look into a bit together. I was getting really frustrated with myself and the pace of recovery, so I did a lot of reading about the changes that the brain undergoes. There's not as much well presented info out there as I'd like, but finding whichever articles I could did help me remember that I was recovering from literal brain damage. That always helps me keep it in perspective... we're so lucky to be able to recover, even if it's not as fast as we'd like.