It's time to handover
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
It's time to handover
My Mum passed away today. I live far from home. I'm supposed to be flying back but my flight is currently 5 hours delayed, it has given me ample time for thinking. I've written a letter to my Dad, I hope you will bear with me.
Dear Dad,
I'm sorry to give you this terrible news, Mum passed away today. It was completely unexpected, I trust you hadn't been informed of her impending arrival. She spoke about you so fondly, never a bad word about you was spoken....she did get a little frustrated with me sometimes though, as I always wanted to know more about you She wasn't angry, I think she was just tired from repetition. I didn't need convinced Dad, I knew you were a special man but it meant so much more to hear her say it again and again and again and again.....I dreamed of meeting you.
She's a pretty special person Dad, you'd be so impressed with how strong she remained bringing me up as a single parent after you were gone. I have spent time thinking of that over the years, I don't believe I could be that strong. I wonder sometimes what you were both thinking walking down that wedding isle, both acutely aware of how little time together you both would have. I'm sad today Dad. I'm very very sad but that sadness is touched by a little glimmering light. You barely had enough time to get to know each other before you were parted. I have been very fortunate to have spent 40 years in your beautiful wifes company, it doesn't seem fair does that Dad. I got to spend so much longer with her than you did. Take care of her Dad, I know you will, she's on her way to you now. May you both enjoy every moment together. I've intended on staying behind for a while longer, but neither of you will ever be far away from my thoughts.
Dear Dad,
I'm sorry to give you this terrible news, Mum passed away today. It was completely unexpected, I trust you hadn't been informed of her impending arrival. She spoke about you so fondly, never a bad word about you was spoken....she did get a little frustrated with me sometimes though, as I always wanted to know more about you She wasn't angry, I think she was just tired from repetition. I didn't need convinced Dad, I knew you were a special man but it meant so much more to hear her say it again and again and again and again.....I dreamed of meeting you.
She's a pretty special person Dad, you'd be so impressed with how strong she remained bringing me up as a single parent after you were gone. I have spent time thinking of that over the years, I don't believe I could be that strong. I wonder sometimes what you were both thinking walking down that wedding isle, both acutely aware of how little time together you both would have. I'm sad today Dad. I'm very very sad but that sadness is touched by a little glimmering light. You barely had enough time to get to know each other before you were parted. I have been very fortunate to have spent 40 years in your beautiful wifes company, it doesn't seem fair does that Dad. I got to spend so much longer with her than you did. Take care of her Dad, I know you will, she's on her way to you now. May you both enjoy every moment together. I've intended on staying behind for a while longer, but neither of you will ever be far away from my thoughts.
Sending you hugs through this difficult time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
I'm sorry for the loss of your mother, and I hope that you will be patient with yourself in these next couple weeks because losing a parent is very hard and you need to make sure to take extra care of yourself.
Thank you for sharing that beautiful letter with all of us. When my dad suddenly passed I bought my mom a journal to write letters to my dad when she missed him or just felt like she wanted to let him know what was going on in all of our lives. Writing to a deceased loved one can be very helpful and it is wonderful that you are able to express your feelings.
Thank you for sharing that beautiful letter with all of us. When my dad suddenly passed I bought my mom a journal to write letters to my dad when she missed him or just felt like she wanted to let him know what was going on in all of our lives. Writing to a deceased loved one can be very helpful and it is wonderful that you are able to express your feelings.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
So sorry for your loss.... I lost my mum 3 years ago... I miss her every day, but I can still get on with things... laugh, cry, get angry, be happy... life goes on... we are all just a speck on a bit of rock in a massive universe (that's my perspective) take care x
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Thank you all for your comforting posts. I am writing again because it is helping me work through this. I could write it all down on paper sure, and I have done, over and over. I have done since I knew how to write.
When I was younger writing journals, I often imagined the why if's?? The what if someone read them? I'm not sure whether deep down I wanted that or not but here in SR I think I do. I want to share without being shared, be visual without being visible and I want to hold on without being held.
Dear Dad, well, we're here with you now, well nearly, we're in the same country. I forgot how long these irish wakes go n for. Apparently over the years they've tamed it down, I can't even begin to think what yours must have been like.
Why does the order of the day involve whiskey Dad, it's the first thing even before seeing Mum. You could argue it's inappropriate given neither you nor Mum drank but I guess theres no one to argue with, no one sober that is!
We stayed up late last night, well, as you know, no one officially goes to sleep until their 'shift' is over. My shift was well over but the 'evangelise' came on the radio, I hadn't done that for years - I hadn't dropped everything, paused and prayed. It was amazing, it was like that game of 'sticky statues' everyone just froze and prayed. It didn't suddenly make me religious but it certainly made me think
I slept in the room with Mum last night, just me and her. The wake just kept on going, I had to call it quits. the bedroom blind is open today and they are all still traipsing in but I think Mum looks the better for the quiet time.
I did a little sneak peak yesterday. I went to your grave, did you know I was there, I tried to be quiet because I knew they were planning on disturbing you soon to plan for mum arriving.
Dad, this has been long, why did I not do this earlier. Next time I talk w you you will have your beautiful bride back with you again. You were taken way too young in life but thank you for having me and allowing me to share the life of a beautiful woman, your bride, your wife, my mum. xx
When I was younger writing journals, I often imagined the why if's?? The what if someone read them? I'm not sure whether deep down I wanted that or not but here in SR I think I do. I want to share without being shared, be visual without being visible and I want to hold on without being held.
Dear Dad, well, we're here with you now, well nearly, we're in the same country. I forgot how long these irish wakes go n for. Apparently over the years they've tamed it down, I can't even begin to think what yours must have been like.
Why does the order of the day involve whiskey Dad, it's the first thing even before seeing Mum. You could argue it's inappropriate given neither you nor Mum drank but I guess theres no one to argue with, no one sober that is!
We stayed up late last night, well, as you know, no one officially goes to sleep until their 'shift' is over. My shift was well over but the 'evangelise' came on the radio, I hadn't done that for years - I hadn't dropped everything, paused and prayed. It was amazing, it was like that game of 'sticky statues' everyone just froze and prayed. It didn't suddenly make me religious but it certainly made me think
I slept in the room with Mum last night, just me and her. The wake just kept on going, I had to call it quits. the bedroom blind is open today and they are all still traipsing in but I think Mum looks the better for the quiet time.
I did a little sneak peak yesterday. I went to your grave, did you know I was there, I tried to be quiet because I knew they were planning on disturbing you soon to plan for mum arriving.
Dad, this has been long, why did I not do this earlier. Next time I talk w you you will have your beautiful bride back with you again. You were taken way too young in life but thank you for having me and allowing me to share the life of a beautiful woman, your bride, your wife, my mum. xx
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Cheyenne
Posts: 52
I'm trying to hold back the tears.... you wrote some very touching and beautiful things, and I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother and your father. Sending you a virtual hug and a lot of prayers.
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