Bunting

I've been with my OH 10+ years and on the whole life is pretty sweet. We both drink TOO much and often but manage to go about our day and keep good jobs. OH drinks considerably more than me but seems to have a better handle on it than me...I think.

I stopped drinking for just over 12 months a few years ago whilst he continued and I seem to remember it did put a bit of a strain on the relationship. Now I've packed it in again and I really try not to force my views or opinions on him, or judge him when he's drunk but it's not easy! Each time he did something daft I had to bite my tongue. I don't really mind, but we all know what it's like to be the sober ONE in a room full of drinkers!

So I wondered if anyone else lives with a drinker?

Natom

I used to live with a drinker whilst I was in a period of recovery. The only time it was ever an issue was when we went out for big social events like wedding. I'd sit there sipping a lemonade whilst the OH got progressively more wasted. It would usually end with me carrying her home. She wouldn't stop at one. That put a strain on the relationship.

Natom.

Midlifecrisis

No

Stovokor

My OH will drink a glass of wine about once a month. Then I was going through a 5th of Beam plus several beers a night. It's a miracle he has stayed with me for so long.

I can't imagine if we both had this monkey on our backs.

Try not to resent him for drinking, he may have to hit his rock bottom on his own.

Good luck!

Nonsensical

Mrs. Non drinks, but is not an alcohol addict. She is currently abstaining (in my presence) to support my quest for permanent abstinence from alcohol. If she has some social function I am not part of she might have a glass or 2 of wine.

ImperfectlyMe

I've been with my hubs since my early 20s he has never drank. Recovered since he's in his 20s. I don't think I could handle if he drank while I was drying out! Don't know how people do it!

And now I think when he met me 11 years ago I was a young party girl he was so new In His sobriety I don't know how he did it. I was just always glad to have a designated driver kind of sad. Must give him a hug when he wakes up!

Bunting

Aw Imperfectlyme, you two sound like a beautiful couple!

I met the Mr 10ish years ago, shortly before my 18th (he's 4 years older). I don't think he'll ever stop drinking. I know he could - he stopped smoking pot as soon as I found out and told him it was a deal breaker for me, and a couple of years later he quit smoking tobacco, cold turkey, with ease. It's just not his time yet maybe.

ImperfectlyMe

Perhaps in you strengths and successes he will want to follow

GroundhogDay

My husband rarely drank before I got sober. Now he never drinks.

bloss

No, thankfully he is sober

ScottFromWI

My wife drinks an occasional glass of wine or would occasionally have one or two of the beers I had around, but since I have quit I can only think of maybe once or twice when she had a glass of wine when the in-laws came to visit. Fortunately for me i can't stand even the smell of wine, and wouldn't touch a drop of it even when I was drinking so it's not tempting whatsoever.

flutter

My husband drinks, but I could count on one hand the number of times he's been drunk, ever. He's 'normal', and can stop at 1 or 2. Totally baffles me If he drank more than that, I don't know that I could stay in a relationship with him, in fact I know I couldn't.

Iwanttobebetter

Mine drinks but very rarely. He can have one beer then not drink for 3 months. Then he'll have another 2 beers and go another few weeks or months. He also will drink several beers in one sitting but it's always in a social situation and that happens once or twice a year. He's super sensitive about alcohol because he has alcoholism on both sides of his family and also has addictive tendencies ( toward food) which is why he errs on the side of caution with alcohol.

Dollyangel17

My hubby didn't drink much at all. If we were home, he might have 1 or two beers. If we went anywhere, he didn't drink at all, because someone needed to drive us home, and I was not raising my hand on that one:-)

Since I have been sober (except for when his family was visiting), he doesn't drink at all as a way of supporting me.

ChrissieB

My other half drinks 1-2 beers plus a bottle of wine a night... He is very supportive of me stopping, I have stopped many times before and would always try and get him to stop but I have finally realised I need to focus on my sobriety and please God he may find the strength to stop.. He really is a good guy I was married twice before to violent drunks, so it is a relief to be with a gentle guy who treats me well.

Soberpotamus

My husband might have had 4-5 beers since I've known him. We met two years ago.

pattyj

My ex boyfirned of 6 years wouldn't stop for me. I had to realize that he had a problem as well. The normies can take it or leave it when it comes to alcohol. My ex would not and could not leave it. I decided that it was a deal breaker for me since I am in early recovery. He called me selfish, a spoiled brat and all sorts of things. But in the end I had to do what was best for me. He wasn't as bad as me but that doesn't mean that I had to put up with it. You just have to do what's best for you.