WhyIsThisMyLife

I've said here before that I cannot disclose my substance abuse problems, because I would lose my job. It's true. I signed something saying any issues with substance abuse, I will be barred from employment for three years. But today I was looking at Intervention and I cried. I know I need that. So, I need to find a way to do it with no one knowing and without it being in my medical records as they review medical records every three years. That would mean self-pay. I can get 10 thousand from my 401k. Is it even possible to get in a program for that cost or should I consider overseas? Another option is waiting till next year and change insurance companies. I can get a PCP, have them refer me and then change PCP's, so my record is clean. Then I need to find someone to keep my kids, figure out someplace to tell my family I am going (I can say sent away for work) and get a doctor's note. So many hurdles! I know this is all wishful thinking, but I so need to get away from this stress and learn some coping skills. Losing my job is not an option, I am the sole income and that's how I get my health insurance. Lose my job, lose my health insurance and I won't be able to go to rehab anyway. Any suggestions??

ScottFromWI

I'm not an expert on medical records, but if you are admitted to a facility, I believe it will go on your records no matter who pays, won't it?

Rennet

I wonder at what point the cost of treatment is worth your job. I also wonder how quickly your employer finds out about treatment, if ever. My medical records have never been forwarded to my work as far as I know.

least

What about the FMLA? Can't you take that time for health reasons without disclosing the specifics? I'd look into that to see if it might work for you.

Recovery1983

For both of my stints, I went to the same rehab. They were very very very careful about patient disclosure. If you didn't sign off on anything, there was no way anyone was going to get your records. Even when people called into the facility, they would use some other name when answering the telephone. As far as medical records go, I believe nothing can be seen unless some sort of court order is issued. It's basically like doctor patient confidentiality.

Even if you signed the "substance abuse" for your work, I'm pretty sure that there is a law or clause with the treatment center that prohibits them from revealing what you entered the treatment center for. You could have entered treatment for exhaustion and stress. I'm also pretty sure that you are protected by law from discrimination from employment on this kind of stuff.

There are a lot of treatment facilities out there, and there is a wide range of costs too. There are treatment centers that are free, but you must qualify for those. I know the one I went to offered scholarships for those who couldn't afford all the costs. There are a lot of options out there. The treatment center I went to was pretty straight forward, and they really seemed to care about the patient. I would go as far as them helping you find the best treatment center for your situation even if theirs isnt on the list. If you want to know which treatment center I went to, just pm me and I'll give you their information.

Lastly, from reading your post, your job really seems of extreme importance to you. You listed the many reasons why you couldn't lose your job. However, if your struggle with substance continues to get worse and take over your life, you may lose job anyways. I wish you the best.

happybeingme

That much deception is likely to fail and if you live in the US starting in October of this year you can shop around for your own insurance and may qualify for federal assistance.
Why do you feel rehab is your only answer? Long term rehabs have a poor sucess rate.

doggonecarl

Your drinking may do that for you if you don't get help. You are facing a tough choice. I think the one that addresses your drinking, despite any other impacts, is the one to make.

wpainterw

I agree with doggonecari: Stopping the drinking is the first priority and trumps all the rest. Ask a good lawyer about the various legal protections. Then don't let anything else prevent you from getting the help you need. And make sure you get all the help necessary, but no more than is necessary if that could work to your disadvantage.
Alcoholism is a matter of life or death. And even if death delays it can be a very unhappy life indeed!

W.

Taking5

First of all, just because you signed something does not make it legal and binding. Alcoholics have certain rights under the ADA that an employer can't make you sign away even if you wanted to.

Secondly, while there are medical records like ScottfromWi alluded to, ALL medical records are privileged, just like attorney/client conversations are privileged. It would take a court order to get this information. It isn't something someone could just "look up" like your driving record.

I would talk to a lawyer on these issues, line up the rehab and take the FMLA leave that someone else mentioned. If they fire you for this, sue the crap out of them.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

WhyIsThisMyLife

Basically, how it works is they look in your PCP records for any mental health facilities, or info of drug/alcohol problems. So, if its not in my PCP records. They won't know unless I disclose which I am really under an obligation to do.

ImperfectlyMe

Gosh I don't know what you do but I know professions that nit being a "practicing" alcoholic is crucial and you still can't be fired for it, actually they will treat you for. Police nurses teachers. It's kind of scary that you work in an environment that wouldn't encourage one to be proactive with your health mentally and physically. The fact that your personal medical records are fair game and open for evaluation is scary.

I know it isn't easy but could you look for a new job once you get the help you need. NJ has a descent disability set up. Sure it's not ideal but neither is being under the thumb of your employer.

WhyIsThisMyLife

Well, Rennet...to even get treatment, I need the job for the health insurance. I am the sole income for my children. I am the only means for health insurance. Lose the job, lose the insurance then what's next? If I have not had treatment, I won't be getting it. If I have had treatment, they will be seriously tested as in the very beginning of my sobriety, I will be tested with the hardest situation of my life: Two young children and no job. I don't know about state assistance, because I never been on it. I know both of my parents are dead, all of my grandparents and my one sister struggles financially herself.

So, with all of that, the cost of treatment is NOT worth more than my job. I could not voluntarily put myself in a position that I know is going to leave me experiencing the hardest season that I ever had. That probably wouldn't be my rock bottom as I would probably relapse.

Also, like I said they review medical records every three years.

WhyIsThisMyLife

Yes, I can use FMLA without specifics. Thanks! I would guess a good treatment center would not say what it's for. I am going to pull the Dept. of Labor form, to see exactly what it says!

WhyIsThisMyLife

Yes, my job makes you sign the disclosure agreements to whatever place they discover you have gone too. There is no law that allows protections if you authorize it.

My job is important, I have two children under six. I know that Im in danger of losing it due to my issues, but I just cannot voluntarily walk in there and say, I have these issues. I know what happens next. Immediate suspension, while they investigate (I'm not sure if its with pay or not), then termination not just of my job, but health insurance. I'm scheduled for two surgeries. I don't know about Medicaid or anything.

WhyIsThisMyLife

I guess looking at the happy endings on Intervention. The episode I cried on, the guy said they worked on the childhood issues which were fueling the addictions, thn gave him coping skills. I know I need coping skills and I know my childhood issues have always been behind a lot of my behaviorial problems. I don't even remember a lot of it.

WhyIsThisMyLife

Thanks! I agree with "no more than is necessary if it will work to my disadvantage.


I have worked all my life and I don't know about government programs that will help me if I lose my money and health insurance. That is really what I'm protecting.

WhyIsThisMyLife

There are positions you can hold which are considered "voluntary privileged." You sign all kinds of agreements and basically allow them access to your life. Kind of like having a government clearance. These are becoming more common. With those you are investigated and you have to allow disclosure of your medical records. It's all "voluntary", of course, but if you don't allow it, you can't hold the job. Your told up front

sugarbear1

While looking at the Department of Labor, also look up the Americans with Disabilities Act.

ScottFromWI

Keep in mind that shows like intervention, while based on reality, are dramatized. Inpatient rehab only works if you have the absolute resolve to quit, just like any recovery program. In the meantime, what other methods have you tried?

Just throwing this out as another option, but how about looking for a different job long term? I have worked in a lot of different industries and have never heard of an agreement like you have signed. Frankly I would refuse to sign one so invasive. Have you shown it to an attorney by chance?

WhyIsThisMyLife

I probably won't try rehab, voluntarily. The only other thing I've tried is Antabuse. I actually use an herb, kratom which totally takes away my desire to drink, but its addicting itself and expensive. I'm pretty much using the combo of Antabuse and the herb. I'm an alcoholic, but like most, I loathe the alcohol and I hate how it makes me feel and act, but it still calls my name if I don't have something else, like one of my herbs (all legal), prescription pain meds or benzodiazepines rarely). That boredom hits me. I'm trying to blog also. Yesterday, I realized I had less boredom, staying home with the kids, watching tv and getting work done around the house, then sitting in my bedroom, getting high/drunk and isolating. That was a happy finding, but I had to keep getting the thought out of my head that everyone was out on a Saturday, having fun, with friends while I sit basically alone. I have been learning mindfull meditation and would just say, it's a thought, I don't have to let it make me feel any particular way. I've always felt so lonely, sitting home on a weekend or Friday/Saturday night, can Make me feel like a loser.