Into Orbit
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Into Orbit
Friday, June 7, 2013
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Into Orbit
It doesn't matter if they're hurting themselves. It doesn't matter that we could help them if they'd only listen to, and cooperate with, us. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER.
—Codependent No More
I think I can change him. Nobody's ever really loved him and appreciated him before. I'll be the one to do that, and then he'll change. . . . She's never been with anybody trustworthy before. I'll prove how trustworthy I am, and then she'll be able to love. . . . Nobody's been able to get to her, to conquer her, before. I'll be the one to do that. . . . Nobody's ever really given him a chance. . . . Nobody's ever really believed in him before. . . .
These are warning signs. Red lights. Red flags. In fact, if we're thinking these thoughts, they need to be stop signs.
If we have gotten hooked into believing that somehow we will be the one who will make the difference in someone's life, if we are trying to prove how good we can be for someone, we may be in trouble.
This is a game. A deception. It won't work. It'll make us crazy. We can trust that. We're not seeing things clearly. Something's going on with us. t will be self-defeating.
We may be "the one" all right - the one to wind up victimized.
The whole thought pattern reeks of codependency, of not being responsible for oneself, and of victimization. Each person needs to do his or her own work.
Nobody in the past has really understood him. . . . Nobody has seen what I see in her. . . . It's a set up. It sets us up to stop paying attention to ourselves while we focus too much on the other person. It takes us away from our path and often puts us in orbit.
Nobody has appreciated him enough. . . . Nobody has been good enough to her, or done for her what I can do. . . . It's a rescue. It's a game move, a game we don't have to play. We don't have to prove we're the one. If we're out to show people we're the best thing that ever happened to them, it may be time to see if they're the best thing that ever happened to us.
We have not been appointed as guardian angel, godmother, godfather, or "the one who will."
The help, support, and encouragement that truly benefits others and ourselves emerges naturally. Let it.
God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Into Orbit
It doesn't matter if they're hurting themselves. It doesn't matter that we could help them if they'd only listen to, and cooperate with, us. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER.
—Codependent No More
I think I can change him. Nobody's ever really loved him and appreciated him before. I'll be the one to do that, and then he'll change. . . . She's never been with anybody trustworthy before. I'll prove how trustworthy I am, and then she'll be able to love. . . . Nobody's been able to get to her, to conquer her, before. I'll be the one to do that. . . . Nobody's ever really given him a chance. . . . Nobody's ever really believed in him before. . . .
These are warning signs. Red lights. Red flags. In fact, if we're thinking these thoughts, they need to be stop signs.
If we have gotten hooked into believing that somehow we will be the one who will make the difference in someone's life, if we are trying to prove how good we can be for someone, we may be in trouble.
This is a game. A deception. It won't work. It'll make us crazy. We can trust that. We're not seeing things clearly. Something's going on with us. t will be self-defeating.
We may be "the one" all right - the one to wind up victimized.
The whole thought pattern reeks of codependency, of not being responsible for oneself, and of victimization. Each person needs to do his or her own work.
Nobody in the past has really understood him. . . . Nobody has seen what I see in her. . . . It's a set up. It sets us up to stop paying attention to ourselves while we focus too much on the other person. It takes us away from our path and often puts us in orbit.
Nobody has appreciated him enough. . . . Nobody has been good enough to her, or done for her what I can do. . . . It's a rescue. It's a game move, a game we don't have to play. We don't have to prove we're the one. If we're out to show people we're the best thing that ever happened to them, it may be time to see if they're the best thing that ever happened to us.
We have not been appointed as guardian angel, godmother, godfather, or "the one who will."
The help, support, and encouragement that truly benefits others and ourselves emerges naturally. Let it.
God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by cynical one 
I think I say this every year. Into Orbit, is one of my favorite LOLG.
Every year? I am impressed! I am going to read this every morning until it is into orbit for good.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
This is now and always has been my favourite reading from Language of Letting Go, also.
My son is my foster son and he came from an abusive birth family where every single person was addicted to something. His sister died of an overdose several years ago now, on Christmas day.
We thought if we loved him enough, if we gave him a safe, peaceful and loving home, if we talked to him about drugs and what they do, he just might overcome the odds of addiction. And when he became addicted anyway, we thought we could love him back into recovery. And when we could not, we thought we failed.
What I learned is that we simply do not have the power to run other people's lives, and even if we did, we do not have the right. His life is his own and his decisions too, however poor they are, are his to make. It is how he will learn, how he will grow and how he will one day be able to find his way back from that dark abyss of addiction.
Thanks, LMN, I needed to read this today.
Hugs
My son is my foster son and he came from an abusive birth family where every single person was addicted to something. His sister died of an overdose several years ago now, on Christmas day.
We thought if we loved him enough, if we gave him a safe, peaceful and loving home, if we talked to him about drugs and what they do, he just might overcome the odds of addiction. And when he became addicted anyway, we thought we could love him back into recovery. And when we could not, we thought we failed.
What I learned is that we simply do not have the power to run other people's lives, and even if we did, we do not have the right. His life is his own and his decisions too, however poor they are, are his to make. It is how he will learn, how he will grow and how he will one day be able to find his way back from that dark abyss of addiction.
Thanks, LMN, I needed to read this today.
Hugs
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