GnarlyWoman

Tried to post yesterday, the interwebs ate it up. But here goes:

My adult addicted daughter (AD), age 24 completed her short rehab this week. She was able to move into an Oxford House about an hour away.

Well before that, the family decided she couldn't come home. The collective consists of me (Mom), my Mom and my sister. We all live very close to each other. Mom and Sis have been involved, because it's just me. My girlfriend lives several states away. She helps as much as she can, but geographically this is the family unit at the moment. My daughter also has a daughter with this Jerk Guy. My family helps me with the wee lassie.

AD left Jerk Guy in March of 2012. Who knew that domestic violence these days includes drugs to manipulate your victim? Jerk Guy likes to use drugs to help convince her to stick around and be his knock around girl. When she came home that March, we didn't know about the drugs initially. And we had expectations of her that you would have of anyone living in your home. No good. Lots of stress, arguing - she'd leave the baby with me and go off for a few days. A friend of mine who works with victims of domestic violence explained that this is common with women who are free from their abusers.

Then the drugs started gradually reared up. She was addicted. We tried tough love, even kicked her out when we found her stash - and the needle/syringe on her bathroom floor. During all this, I sought and and gained legal guardianship of the wee baby girl. Like all babies she requires a lot of love and attention. Children don't ask to be born into a mess like that.

Drove the AD to a detox/rehab 2 hours away, but she had an addict friend and her addict Jerk Guy drive down to "save her". Six months later finds her in a legal mess and waking up to "Oh S***, this is my life?".

When I found out about the legal stuff, told her she could get help or not bother calling me again. Ever. And I meant it. Detaching with Love. Detaching for my sanity.

High as a kite, she agreed to go. After a lot of drama with Jerk Guy who didn't want her to go or at least go without him, she stayed in detox and treatment. He didn't want her in there. He even tried to sneak into the detox unit of the treatment facility she was in. He did this knowing that the treatment facility would kick them both out if it was discovered.

When she was sober, she voiced that she wanted to do the short term rehab program. I made the facility was aware of the situation with Jerk Guy trying to get in. He had actually reserved a spot in their detox unit! Now that she's out, he can go in. If he really wants to, which I doubt.

29 days sober is great, and we are more than happy with the progress she has made. Tomorrow is her 30 days sober. For all involved, her recovery and well being included, her living in the Oxford House will be better. She needs to be in an environment that is healthy for her stages of recovery. And we aren't prepared, trained or equipped to deal that. Plus, we are working on our own recovery.

One day at a time.

(This is a brief synopsis of current things. And as I'm sure many of you know doesn't even begin to cover the span of everything that has gone on in the year of our life with the AD).

2granddaughters

Are you working on recovery too? Are you in AA ?


All the best.

Bob R

GnarlyWoman

I've been seeing a therapist. She has helped tremendously.

My own family doctor has been amazing as well.

Been looking into the meetings, that's next on the list.

One day at a time.

Research did indicate that there is one local group for Narc Anon family members. That one is a good drive - out of the way. (Gas prices factor into a lot of what I do.)

Surprises me that there is only one group for family members and we have tons and tons of groups for addicts. There is a big narcotic problem in the southern part of my state. Someone suggested last week, a local AA group that meets near my work. Thought I might check it out.

PaperDolls

Living in an Oxford House was one of the smartest moves I made in early recovery. I was there for 2 years. Loved it. Hated it. All in the same breath. I cannot tell you how many great lessons I learned out of that experience. I'm still involved with them in my area.

least

We have a special forum just for people in your situation. Take a look at it.


Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

instant

Hope she can turn it around. The wee lassie is in good hands