fordgal1965

I'm on here not because I have a problem w/ drinking, but my BF does. He had the gastric bypass surgery done 15 months ago and I don't know how to handle the way the alcohol affects him. He drank heavy before the surgery then stopped for a year because he got a blood clot so he couldn't drink.

Over the last 6 months or so he has gotten BAD. He doesn't drink any more than he usually did, but it affects him so much faster and seriously in a matter of seconds he goes from talking fine to slurring.

Does anyone else have the problems he does or is anyone else in the same boat as i am?

Any help is greatly appreciated. I love him to death, but last few months he's gotten just down right MEAN. His mood changes from one sentence to the next. I don't want to leave him but I don't want it to get worse and I will not tolerate it getting worse.

He knows he's had a problem but was laid off in January after 18 yrs of service to the company so now he has no insurance to pay for treatment.

THANK YOU ANYONE!!!

CharlieNoogan

This makes sense as a bypass basically diverts the alcohol straight from his esophagus to the small intestine where it is readily absorbed by the body. Bypassing the stomach in the process.

I would imagine that alcohol at this point, post blood clots (probably taking blood thinners) and bypass surgery, is very dangerous. There is little you can do to stop his drinking behavior directly. He will need to make the determination to quit on his own.

In the meantime, you should look into personal support - perhaps Al-Anon.

Also, check out the "Friends and Family" forum on this site as you will find others in your situation.

Welcome to SR! I hope the two of you can figure this out.

Iwanttobebetter

I'm sorry I have a couple of friends who have had gastric bypass and are really knowledgeable about it. Apparently it's not uncommon for people to transfer their addiction after this type of surgery. And it's often to alcohol. Especially if they don't address the root cause of why they used to overeat. The addictive behavior just goes toward something else. Also when people habe weigt loss surgery, alcohol affects them much faster and more intensely. Does he realize this is a problem?

fordgal1965

Thank you both for some information. Sorry i posted on the wrong forum. I will go to the friends and family. Thank you

least

But it will get worse, it always gets worse. I hope you can find some peace in your life.

Sinderos

I had gastric bypass 4 years ago. Didn't start drinking until a little over 2 years ago. At first it was just on the weekends or with friends. Next thing I know it became an every day thing. Since it has been a lot longer since my bypass, my body reacts differently than it would have as early out as your husband. As far as I can tell alcohol doesn't affect me differently than a person who hasn't had it. I do believe transfer addiction is a huge part of my problem. I highly recommend looking for a free program (there are actually some out there, but it takes really digging to find them). For the time being, if he is willing he should start AA. However, if he doesn't want to quit drinking nothing will help.

fordgal1965

sinderos, thank you. The alcohol doesn't affect you differently, just his your system faster. He Frank before the surgery so not much of a transfer but I do know he has started eating bad and eating more. he's gained about 40 lbs back too. I hope you have someone you can talk to about your problems, it does help. thank you sinderos. and good luck to you.

Nighthawk8820

Get rid of him, or at the very least stop enabling him or making excuses for him. You deserve better than this and he is clearly sick. You cant save other people, as hard as you might want to. This is up to him to decide he needs help and to seek out a treatment option. This wont happen if he is able to drink all he wants (which I assume you purchase the alcohol since he isnt working). Him being laid off is no excuse to loaf around all day and drink. That is no life and you shouldn't have to deal with it. There are SO many options available, even to people uninsured. There is government and county programs for people struggling with addiction if he would decided he wanted to actually stop. The thing is, why would he if he gets free booze and can get drunk even faster now with his new surgery? He has you as his rock and paying for his habit, and a nice roof over his head. There is no accountability at all. He wont quit, not when its as comfy as it is to keep on doing what he is doing. Sadly, this is a situation many find themselves in when in a relationship with an addict. If he is serious about you and changing his ways, then if you leave, he will seek help and can come back to you once he has proven he wants to create a better life with you. Otherwise, you are just wasting your time and living in misery. I hate to be so blunt, but I really want you to understand what I am saying. I am an alcoholic, but I also have dealt with addicts growing up (my parents), so I know how this goes and what works and what doesnt. Your heart is in the right place, but unfortunately, it just isnt enough sometimes.

Sinderos

Actually every gastric bypass person is affected differently. I'm glad you already have the answers though. Good luck to you.

SereneEdition

Welcome Fordgal -

You posted in a good forum to get answers.

Suggestions of posting in friends and family are so that you can connect into that community in addition to the larger SR community.

Cheers

fordgal1965

Thanks for the "bluntness" it's appreciated. Although he isn't working, he still gets serverance pay for about another month, and HELL NO I don't buy the booze for him, lol. He actually buys it for himself and for me (I don't drink that much). Thanks for the advice on county/state programs, I'll look into them.

Thanks again everyone for the advice. It's all appreciated.

honeypig

Fordgal, so glad to see you taking the advice/info in the spirit in which it's offered!

Just want to second the recommendation to check out a couple of Alanon meetings. You'll learn a LOT if you read and post here, but there is something to be said for actually going to an in-person meeting also.

Sorry to hear about this situation but also wanted to thank you for posting this, as I believe my (R? who knows this week?)AH has some addiction transference going on. This thread has been quite educational for me, and thanks to all who shared here for yet another important insight into wtf is going on in my daily life...

fordgal1965

Thanks HoneyPig. I know it's got to be a fairly new experience for people, but even though the procedure has been around for years, the complications w/ alcohol are very new. I was going to check out the Friends and Family forum as well. Thanks again everyone.