Mirel

I don't really have a question, and I'm sure I'm not using this site right. I just want to say I made it to day 4. Yesterday was the wost by far and last night was the worst sleep ever. Nightmares, sweating, constantly waking up...
I never want a day 3 again, and I wanted to write that here as an accountability to myself.

Soberpotamus

Congrats on making it to day 4

Wastinglife

Hi Mirel,
I think many here would agree that Day 3 is the worst stage of withdrawal. I have had many Day 3's that were just like what you described. Why do we do this to ourselves? Grrr...

Rennet

The physical stuff does get much better for most people.. for me 2, 3, 4 are the worst. Sometimes I get away with an easy day 1.

Good idea trying to remember how bad the first few are though, I was tempted to drink last night but the thought of starting again annoyed me. Do not want to do that again when physically I'm coasting now

BrightFuture74

Congratulations on Day 4! Tomorrow you will have Day 4 behind you and never have to go through it again. Look forward. One day at a time.

ANGELINA243

Congrats on 4 days! Keep moving forward. WE do recover.

Mirel

I hope I can remember all this, but in my relationship with alcohol reason has never played the role it plays in the rest of my life. When I want it I want it, but every time I quit it is getting harder and worse, so the cycle has to stop. It is so nice to have found this place where I have a community of support.

I've lived in two places in my life one where alcohol is so taboo if someone finds out you drink they may never speak to you again, and one where everyone seemed to drink all the time and never thought it was a problem. When I lived in the alcohol saturated city, it was actually easier not to drink. My therapist and doctors in the former where I live now are actually some of my biggest triggers. I'm scared to go to therapy tomorrow because I've never drank right after my session.

Scared for tomorrow, but so thankful I have this community.

BrightFuture74

What are your therapist's reasons for recommending you quit your coursework? That sounds absurd. Not only will it derail your academic goals, school is a great distraction from thoughts of drinking. Is your university in the city where you are triggered to drink? If so, is there a possibility to declare candidacy at another school and transfer your completed coursework?

Mirel

Women are supposed to stay at home and have kids. She has 4 kids and thinks that would make me happier than finishing school.
It isn't important for me to finish because my husband should be the bread winner. I'm only 2 chapters sort of a full draft of my dissertation. So I'm about 75% done, and I've done all my classes. I just have to finish the dissertation.

When she suggested it at the end of our last session even though I was on my 3rd day then, I just when straight out and bought beer. No one really gets me here. It is so male centric that only 1 AA group will allow women to attend and it only meets once a week. Me and my spouse moved back here to write our dissertations because his mom was dying of brain cancer. I know it was the right decision because he got to spend that last year with her, but it has really been isolating for me. Anyway, I'm grateful for this community!

Mirel

No, my school is 3,000 miles east. I did pretty well in the drinking community because I had a great therapist, doctor, sober recover coach, nutritionist, and psychiatrist. Also, with everyone at my school drinking all the time, it was easy to see the dangers and foolishness.

BrightFuture74

Well your therapist is three shades of crazy if she thinks she is giving you good advice. Tell her the 1950's called and want their stupid oppressive beliefs back. I am a full time educated working mother, I am the main breadwinner, and our family is better for it. Stick to your guns and finish that dissertation! What an awesome accomplishment.

Mirel

In her mind--NOT MINE. Of course, I don't get it because she's a therapist which means she's finished school herself.

Rennet

I'm a guy, so taking the gender roles stuff out of the equation the advice still seems silly. Like Mirel said how does abandoning a life goal right before the finish line help with recovery?

I feel like there must be more to this story but if not I'd get a new therapist.

Mirel

I would shop for a new therapist, but my time here is limited, I've been through 2 already and the last one told me my depression would get better if I started wearing makeup...seriously!

Mirel

I guess I'll find out her reasoning tomorrow. She suggested it and then said time was up. She had to know she hit a nerve because the suggestion made the tears start streaming...

Mirel

I had told her that I had found it hard to work on my dissertation because since I was on my 3rd day I was having trouble concentrating...I don't know I probably shouldn't have brought this up. I hope I didn't break a rule about discussing recovery methods.

Sorry people.

Rennet

That makes more sense. Self image is important, I don't think girls need makeup to look good but as a guy if I was depressed and someone told me to dress better I could see the reasoning there.