greeneyes88

I'm a 24 year old girl that's been addicted to opiates since age 16. So.. 8.. Almost 9 years. Wow, for some reason that just hit me. 9 years. For the past five or so years I've been taking roxycodone, methadone, and Vicodin. I have a routine each month, I guess. I take roxys and methadone for three weeks at the most and run out. Then that last week I take the Vicodin. I take 4 to 5 roxycodone 30mg every day for about a week(so that's about 120mg to 150mg a day). Then I take around 30mg a day of methadone for the second and third week decreasing as days go so that I can make it last. The last week is what's hell. I only have a couple Vicodin a day to ease withdrawals. By the end of it a half of a 7.5mg Vicodin stops the restless legs and arms(yes arms too) and a few other symptoms for a couple of hours. I would like to say I don't take anything to "feel better" mentally/emotionally, but that would be total crap. I do mostly only take pills to keep from having withdrawals. I haven't had methadone in two weeks. I've been taking roxys and MS Contin for a week now. I'm now out of everything and will have to start taking Vicodin again. Which means hell. I am sick of all of this. As if you can't tell month after month is crazy trying to schedule things out so that it lasts. I'm tired of it. I want to be able to function again. I have no clue what's its like being off pills anymore. I don't remember. I've never tried to get off until now. I don't have a clue where to start. I don't believe I can do it "cold turkey". I think I will go insane before I can. Plus, I live with family members and I have to hide it from them. I am completely alone with this other than my mom. I don't know if trying to sorta taper off with Vicodin is the best thing to do or not. I was wondering how long will the physical withdrawals last? The restlessness, the cold and hot sweats, chills, sneezing, the shakes, legs and joints hurting terribly. When will it start to get better? I just kind of want to know how long of hell I'm looking for and if instead of taking a 7.5mg Vicodin or a half of one when I can't stand it anymore is a good idea to do or is it better to just completely stop everything? I don't know and I'm scared to death to do this. What will help? I take Neurontin for the restless legs and it really does help a lot.. even with the chills too. Not sure why. But it also makes me weak and out of it tired. I don't know what the best thing to do is with the minimal hell. If anybody could give me some ideas I would really appreciate it. Thanks a lot. Xoxo

Richierich777

Can you go see a doctor and just be honest wit the doctor?

greeneyes88

No, I'm not able to go to a doctor right now. So I don't really know what to do.

Richierich777

Can you slowly cut back?

Richierich777

How do you get the meds then? I would see professional help. Probably here they might have 800 numbers or someone to call. I know there are free services

greeneyes88

On the Vicodin I can. I don't want to go through it another whole month. My boyfriend is deployed to Afghanistan and he's going to be back soon and he does not deal with me on pills well. I want to be completely off by the time he gets home. I just don't know if only taking a Vicodin or even a half when I can't stand withdrawals anymore will in the end prolong the withdrawals or if they will get easier. I just don't think I can quit entirely and deal with that hell. Especially having to hide it.

Anna

I really think you should find a way to talk to a dr to get some guidance.

I am glad you want to live a sober life.

ScottFromWI

Depending on where you live GreenEyesm, there may be sliding fee or free addiction/abuse clinics you can visit. Honestly you should really seek professional help to come off that amount of drugs in my opinion, especially for the duration you've been taking them.

greeneyes88

Alright, thank you guys. Nobody can tell me how long I'm looking at going through hell though? Before it starts to get better. I mean as far as physical withdrawals go?

Anna

It would vary for each person, and we can't give medical advice.

joygirl

Greeneyes,
I was addicted to oxycodone (xanax and ambien too) for 8 years. I did taper down some, but in the end I just quit when I ran out. I did go to my doctor for some support. I told her everything, and you know what? She didn't get mad or throw me out! She helped. And I made sure to tell both of my doctors and my pharmacist, so I can't get anymore scripts filled. The pharmacist was especially helpful with info on withdrawal.
You know the physical symptoms of w/d. They lasted for me about a week, worse on days 1-4. Then the mental symptoms come in for a while.
You didn't say when your bf will be back from Afghanistan. Look up PAWS. It's important to know what you're going to experience and why. What I learned from PAWS was that using, even a little bit, will prolong the recovery. Our brains are actually physically different from using the drugs. The brain takes time to repair, but it does repair itself. Do everything you can to help it.
You said your mother knows and can help. Get her help! Having support is important. I only have my husband to help me, and I lean on him every single day. And this site of course! Lots of people here have been where you are and are in a better place now! Reading and posting here has helped me tremendously!

dbaguy

Everyone is different so it's a tough one. I can only speak from experience and from what I know others have gone through. Now, neither of these experiences are from abuse but from normal use and dependance....

My father was on 5mg of oxy 4x a day for 20 years due to 2 open heart surgeries and a broken back (bad car accident). He recently came off them and I'll be honest, he felt like crap for over a month. He fought through it and is waaaay better though and has more energy and is in a better mood than I've seen in 20 years.

I suffer from various problems myself, odd and undiagnosed nerve issues originating in my spine and dealing with my right arm/hand. I've been on a much smaller dose of 10mg Vicodin once a day for about 3 years. I don't crave them as many do but it's maintenance medication so my body has definitely become dependent on them. Wanting to start using them only when I know I need them I started weaning down a couple of months ago (it's also in support of my wife's sobriety), which helped greatly in easing the physical withdrawals. I still felt tired and a bit cruddy sometimes but after a couple of weeks I now go days without taking any Vicodin.

So, everyone's body will react differently. Whether you are addicted or dependent on them, it really doesn't matter. The hardest part for folks that are addicted is that after the physical withdrawals end the mental battle continues on. It will take time to get through the withdrawal symptoms. There are a ton of resources online if you search for opiate withdrawal that can give you tips on things you can do to ease the issues. Also, as others suggest, a good doctor can also help to wean you off the meds. Just remember, the physical part is only temporary and if you keep your mindset good you can work through that.

SNST

Hey Greeneyes, just reading your post made me tired The chase, the counting etc is exhausting. As Joygirl said the worst of the w/ds is usually "better" by the 4th day, I can only go from my experience, as you have seen everyone is different. Im addicted to opiates, any Opiate was fine with me it didnt matter which one, I would take what ever was available to me. I guess I used for 6 or 7 years, kind of hard to remember exactly. I tried to quit MANY times but never made it, I couldnt handle the w/ds (so I thought ) but I found SR and Im now 33? days clean! It wont get better over night Im sorry to say, but it didnt take you over night to get where you are, you really have to work at it, its not easy but you can do it! I never thought I would make it this far but here I am! If I can do it anyone can do it. I couldnt get off the couch or the bed for a few days, but I drank LOTS of water to clean the toxins from my system & took multivitamins & B12. Im still working on the energy part, I always had that false energy from the pills. But I promise it really does get better, just set your mind to it you can do it! You will see life in such a different way Good Luck!