Advice please - test coming up
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: London
Posts: 50
Advice please - test coming up
Hi everyone,
I've read loads on the site about not slipping at "social events" but I want to feel I've got a plan in place.
I'm on day 62, very rare cravings etc, so I'm in pretty good shape at the moment. I feel totally committed to pursuing sobriety (I prefer to look at it that way than to consider myself as "giving up" alcohol), as its given me enormous benefits even in my 62 days. Vastly increased self confidence & self respect, money saved etc, but absolutely priceless is that I am growing (and also shrinking, lost loads of weight!!).
Anyway, one of my cousins has died young (47, after a struggle with cancer) and I'd like to attend the funeral. This is many miles away and I will meet up with many people I haven't seen for a long time. They are bikers, and I had many a party with them in the past. Big drinkers (though this is the norm, not necessarily problem drinking) What I want is to pay my respects and not feel any kind of stupid compulsion to "join in".
This is the first time I feel I will be truly tested. I'm not worrying in advance but I want to be prepared. I can say hand on heart I am not looking for excuses to drink - I've had many excuses lately and not slipped. Injustvfeel that I need to pay particular care on this one event. Can anyone start me off with a solid plan?
Thanks
Snowie
I've read loads on the site about not slipping at "social events" but I want to feel I've got a plan in place.
I'm on day 62, very rare cravings etc, so I'm in pretty good shape at the moment. I feel totally committed to pursuing sobriety (I prefer to look at it that way than to consider myself as "giving up" alcohol), as its given me enormous benefits even in my 62 days. Vastly increased self confidence & self respect, money saved etc, but absolutely priceless is that I am growing (and also shrinking, lost loads of weight!!).
Anyway, one of my cousins has died young (47, after a struggle with cancer) and I'd like to attend the funeral. This is many miles away and I will meet up with many people I haven't seen for a long time. They are bikers, and I had many a party with them in the past. Big drinkers (though this is the norm, not necessarily problem drinking) What I want is to pay my respects and not feel any kind of stupid compulsion to "join in".
This is the first time I feel I will be truly tested. I'm not worrying in advance but I want to be prepared. I can say hand on heart I am not looking for excuses to drink - I've had many excuses lately and not slipped. Injustvfeel that I need to pay particular care on this one event. Can anyone start me off with a solid plan?
Thanks
Snowie
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Calling it a "test" concerns me. Tests can be failed. You don't want to set yourself up for failure. My suggestion:
Go to the funeral, pay your respects. Be there for your cousin's family. Commiserate with your friends. Then leave.
Nothing has to extend beyond the funeral, IMHO.
Go to the funeral, pay your respects. Be there for your cousin's family. Commiserate with your friends. Then leave.
Nothing has to extend beyond the funeral, IMHO.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: London
Posts: 50
Think I'm calling it a test because I've been reading about people sort of going onto autopilot.. I'm a bit worried that events or gatherings I've been to in the past few months are a part of the life I lead now (mum of 2), whereas there's not only a load of family but also loads of associations with a whole other life (carefree partying me)....
maybe it might be just best to keep it simple & stop over thinking it :-)
maybe it might be just best to keep it simple & stop over thinking it :-)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dallas
Posts: 86
Snowie71,
Here's my plan--(Don't Drink!!)
If your old friends judge you then that's there stuff. If they support your choice then they are true friends. It doesn't make any difference what others think, it's your butt ;-)
Thanks for the reminder!
Love,
CS
Here's my plan--(Don't Drink!!)
If your old friends judge you then that's there stuff. If they support your choice then they are true friends. It doesn't make any difference what others think, it's your butt ;-)
Thanks for the reminder!
Love,
CS
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Calling it a "test" concerns me. Tests can be failed. You don't want to set yourself up for failure. My suggestion:
Go to the funeral, pay your respects. Be there for your cousin's family. Commiserate with your friends. Then leave.
Nothing has to extend beyond the funeral, IMHO.
Go to the funeral, pay your respects. Be there for your cousin's family. Commiserate with your friends. Then leave.
Nothing has to extend beyond the funeral, IMHO.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by Snowie71
Hi everyone,
I've read loads on the site about not slipping at "social events" but I want to feel I've got a plan in place.
I'm on day 62, very rare cravings etc, so I'm in pretty good shape at the moment. I feel totally committed to pursuing sobriety (I prefer to look at it that way than to consider myself as "giving up" alcohol), as its given me enormous benefits even in my 62 days. Vastly increased self confidence & self respect, money saved etc, but absolutely priceless is that I am growing (and also shrinking, lost loads of weight!!).
Anyway, one of my cousins has died young (47, after a struggle with cancer) and I'd like to attend the funeral. This is many miles away and I will meet up with many people I haven't seen for a long time. They are bikers, and I had many a party with them in the past. Big drinkers (though this is the norm, not necessarily problem drinking) What I want is to pay my respects and not feel any kind of stupid compulsion to "join in".
This is the first time I feel I will be truly tested. I'm not worrying in advance but I want to be prepared. I can say hand on heart I am not looking for excuses to drink - I've had many excuses lately and not slipped. Injustvfeel that I need to pay particular care on this one event. Can anyone start me off with a solid plan?
Thanks
Snowie
I've read loads on the site about not slipping at "social events" but I want to feel I've got a plan in place.
I'm on day 62, very rare cravings etc, so I'm in pretty good shape at the moment. I feel totally committed to pursuing sobriety (I prefer to look at it that way than to consider myself as "giving up" alcohol), as its given me enormous benefits even in my 62 days. Vastly increased self confidence & self respect, money saved etc, but absolutely priceless is that I am growing (and also shrinking, lost loads of weight!!).
Anyway, one of my cousins has died young (47, after a struggle with cancer) and I'd like to attend the funeral. This is many miles away and I will meet up with many people I haven't seen for a long time. They are bikers, and I had many a party with them in the past. Big drinkers (though this is the norm, not necessarily problem drinking) What I want is to pay my respects and not feel any kind of stupid compulsion to "join in".
This is the first time I feel I will be truly tested. I'm not worrying in advance but I want to be prepared. I can say hand on heart I am not looking for excuses to drink - I've had many excuses lately and not slipped. Injustvfeel that I need to pay particular care on this one event. Can anyone start me off with a solid plan?
Thanks
Snowie
If you are totally committed to not drinking you will strongly endeavour not
to.
I went month after month without alcohol only to fall into traps. There are so many traps.
I am a recovering alcohol and see myself always vulnerable.
These days I turn to God as best I can understand the concept and take it one day at a time.
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