Day 1 - I made it through the night
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Centennial
Posts: 7
Day 1 - I made it through the night
Hello,
Yesterday morning I decided to stop drinking. I have been drinking at least two 1.75 liter bottles of Jim Beam a week for quite a while now. I actually deiced to stop drinking on Monday morning but after I got off work on Monday I decided to push it off for another day. On Tuesday morning I told my wife so that I wouldn't have the easy out of it just being another day. I tossed and turned all night last night. At 2:00 AM I woke up and told myself that I could go down and take a couple of pulls off of the Rum bottle and and I would be sleeping like a baby before I knew it. I fought it off and finally did fall back asleep.
I am an IT professional. My 22nd wedding anniversary is coming up later this month. We have raised two spectacular sons who now off at a prestigious Jesuit University. This came after graduating from one of the best private high schools in town. I also have a 17 year old special needs daughter. She will be be with us forever.
I did a major project on Alcoholism when I was in high school. I learned the term functional alcoholic from that. I am what I would call a functional alcoholic. I get up at 4:45 AM everyday. Go to work and don't drink a drop but the second I walk out that door I start craving it. Many times I will buy a half pint for the trip home. I consider it a victory if I don't drink until I get home. I usually head strait for the bottle and take a few pulls off it . I then do that several more times during the night. I usually start falling asleep in front of the TV around 8 and then drag myself up to bed. I forgot to mention that I also usually take a good pull from the bottle right before I leave for work in the morning. On Saturdays and Sundays I will drink all day. I have woken up early and decided to get up just so that I can start drinking.
I don't have any blackout stories or anything like that. My biggest issue is my health. I have put a lot of weight on. I snore like a freight train and the shakes have been getting worse. Finally since I am always drunk I get absolutely nothing done around my house. The outside of my house is really beginning to like like it belongs in a slum.
I tried AA a couple of times. The first time I wasn't ready to admit that I was an alcoholic and closed meeting came up and they asked me to leave. I never went back. A few months later I tried again. This time I stopped at the liquor store on the way home. There are some parts of AA that I just don't agree with so it is hard to completely buy in. A few months ago I tried a psychologist that didn't help at all.
Here I am again. This time I am going to just try it on my own and maybe I can find some support here.
Yesterday morning I decided to stop drinking. I have been drinking at least two 1.75 liter bottles of Jim Beam a week for quite a while now. I actually deiced to stop drinking on Monday morning but after I got off work on Monday I decided to push it off for another day. On Tuesday morning I told my wife so that I wouldn't have the easy out of it just being another day. I tossed and turned all night last night. At 2:00 AM I woke up and told myself that I could go down and take a couple of pulls off of the Rum bottle and and I would be sleeping like a baby before I knew it. I fought it off and finally did fall back asleep.
I am an IT professional. My 22nd wedding anniversary is coming up later this month. We have raised two spectacular sons who now off at a prestigious Jesuit University. This came after graduating from one of the best private high schools in town. I also have a 17 year old special needs daughter. She will be be with us forever.
I did a major project on Alcoholism when I was in high school. I learned the term functional alcoholic from that. I am what I would call a functional alcoholic. I get up at 4:45 AM everyday. Go to work and don't drink a drop but the second I walk out that door I start craving it. Many times I will buy a half pint for the trip home. I consider it a victory if I don't drink until I get home. I usually head strait for the bottle and take a few pulls off it . I then do that several more times during the night. I usually start falling asleep in front of the TV around 8 and then drag myself up to bed. I forgot to mention that I also usually take a good pull from the bottle right before I leave for work in the morning. On Saturdays and Sundays I will drink all day. I have woken up early and decided to get up just so that I can start drinking.
I don't have any blackout stories or anything like that. My biggest issue is my health. I have put a lot of weight on. I snore like a freight train and the shakes have been getting worse. Finally since I am always drunk I get absolutely nothing done around my house. The outside of my house is really beginning to like like it belongs in a slum.
I tried AA a couple of times. The first time I wasn't ready to admit that I was an alcoholic and closed meeting came up and they asked me to leave. I never went back. A few months later I tried again. This time I stopped at the liquor store on the way home. There are some parts of AA that I just don't agree with so it is hard to completely buy in. A few months ago I tried a psychologist that didn't help at all.
Here I am again. This time I am going to just try it on my own and maybe I can find some support here.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: rural bush Alaska
Posts: 122
Good to have you here! The hardest part is always the first couple of days when alcohol is still usually present, people are wary and untrusting of the new you (or expect the old you) and you might face withdrawals. But it sounds like you have a lot of people who want you sober and a lot to offer them. Just keep at it- one hour at a time. That's great you were able to stay away from the bottle during the night...sleep is hard when you've only operated with alcohol in the past, believe me- I know. Good luck!!!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
You'll find a lot of support here MileHi. You may also want to consider an outpatient detox if it's available in your area too, or specifically talking with an addictions counselor ( vs a psychiatrist ). With the volume and duration of your drinking, you may want to see your doctor initially too, withdrawal can be uncomfortable at best and very dangerous at worst.
Regardless of whether we are functional or non functional alcoholics, we are all alcoholics. Glad that you realize the need to make a change, and certainly hope you find the strength and support to do so.
Regardless of whether we are functional or non functional alcoholics, we are all alcoholics. Glad that you realize the need to make a change, and certainly hope you find the strength and support to do so.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
You have found a great place for support as well as information. I use SR as my main source of support although I do attend AA once in a blue moon. I also do a ton of reading of the AA Big Book, as well as other books/literature on recovery from alcohol. Drop in to the different forums on this site and I'm sure you will find what you need....it's funny how it works out that way!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Welcome! This is a GREAT forum because of its diversity. I keep coming back to SR though I'm part of quite a few groups by now...
When I started out trying to get sober, AA certainly was the last thing I'd have tried because I didn't buy into the philosophies either, and I still don't buy into lots of them! And I'd be the last person to say, Hey, you need to try out AA! Lol. But I finally decided to "try out" AA and since approaching it as a choice among many available to me, I've had a few epiphanies since going. I do attend a f2f AA meeting 1-2 times a week, along with a f2f Women For Sobriety meeting, and several online SMART Recovery meetings, a once per week Continuing Care group therapy, and a biweekly individual therapy session.
What I realized is that I value a sort of varied or diversified approach... because that way, I feel I'm getting the best of a particular type of approach or philosophy at each meeting... and that by tying them all together somehow, I'm able to have my cake and eat it too
Maybe I'm just too much of a skeptic to be able to swallow entirely just one approach... but, it's working great for me this 3rd time around.
Good luck and glad you are here!
When I started out trying to get sober, AA certainly was the last thing I'd have tried because I didn't buy into the philosophies either, and I still don't buy into lots of them! And I'd be the last person to say, Hey, you need to try out AA! Lol. But I finally decided to "try out" AA and since approaching it as a choice among many available to me, I've had a few epiphanies since going. I do attend a f2f AA meeting 1-2 times a week, along with a f2f Women For Sobriety meeting, and several online SMART Recovery meetings, a once per week Continuing Care group therapy, and a biweekly individual therapy session.
What I realized is that I value a sort of varied or diversified approach... because that way, I feel I'm getting the best of a particular type of approach or philosophy at each meeting... and that by tying them all together somehow, I'm able to have my cake and eat it too
Maybe I'm just too much of a skeptic to be able to swallow entirely just one approach... but, it's working great for me this 3rd time around. Good luck and glad you are here!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dallas
Posts: 86
Hello MileHi,
First, we're glad that you are here.
I drank in a similar fashion for two decades so I can somewhat relate to your story. I have continued to make a choice not to drink or do drugs for over 16 years and I can honestly say that it the best choice that I have ever made.
It has opened doors of self-discovery that I could only have dreamed of earlier in my life. I truly hope that you continue to discuss your questions and concerns here on this wonderful forum.
Thanks for sharing!
Love,
CS
First, we're glad that you are here.
I drank in a similar fashion for two decades so I can somewhat relate to your story. I have continued to make a choice not to drink or do drugs for over 16 years and I can honestly say that it the best choice that I have ever made.
It has opened doors of self-discovery that I could only have dreamed of earlier in my life. I truly hope that you continue to discuss your questions and concerns here on this wonderful forum.
Thanks for sharing!
Love,
CS
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Centennial
Posts: 7
Last night wasn't so successful for me. We bought a new car last night and by the time we were done all I could think about was a drink.
I know it was mostly my fault but I also need to talk to my wife about telling me NO. I asked her first and if she would have just told me no I probably could have made it through.
Hopefully tomorrow will be another Day 1. Day 2 is going to be an issue though because it is a Friday.
I hope I don't get on peoples nerves here. I plan on posting very regularly. Kind of like a public diary. Even if no one reads them taking the time to type about it I hope is going to make me think about what I am doing and hopefully force a change.
I know it was mostly my fault but I also need to talk to my wife about telling me NO. I asked her first and if she would have just told me no I probably could have made it through.
Hopefully tomorrow will be another Day 1. Day 2 is going to be an issue though because it is a Friday.
I hope I don't get on peoples nerves here. I plan on posting very regularly. Kind of like a public diary. Even if no one reads them taking the time to type about it I hope is going to make me think about what I am doing and hopefully force a change.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by MileHi 
.
I hope I don't get on peoples nerves here. I plan on posting very regularly. Kind of like a public diary. Even if no one reads them taking the time to type about it I hope is going to make me think about what I am doing and hopefully force a change.
I hope I don't get on peoples nerves here. I plan on posting very regularly. Kind of like a public diary. Even if no one reads them taking the time to type about it I hope is going to make me think about what I am doing and hopefully force a change.
BrightFuture74
Join Date: May 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 24
I had a few failed "jump starts" myself. Your story sounds familiar to me. It's when I started having a couple drinks before work that I decided enough was enough.
You will not get on people's nerves here. Post when and what you need to.
I will read.
You will not get on people's nerves here. Post when and what you need to.
I will read.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Welcome MH!
I too tried AA many years ago and thought it did not work for me but it was me that did not work. What things do you not agree with?
I am not plugging AA, I go and it works for me but others find other avenues of recovery. What ever works, well works.
Not quite sure I follow here or maybe I do.
Are you expecting your wife to tell you NO, you cannot drink?
I too tried AA many years ago and thought it did not work for me but it was me that did not work. What things do you not agree with?
I am not plugging AA, I go and it works for me but others find other avenues of recovery. What ever works, well works.
Originally Posted by MileHi
I know it was mostly my fault but I also need to talk to my wife about telling me NO. I asked her first and if she would have just told me no I probably could have made it through.
Are you expecting your wife to tell you NO, you cannot drink?
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