10 days of amazement
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: northern virginia
Posts: 535
10 days of amazement
good morning, all!
this is day 10 for me... double digits!
eleven, twelve days ago... i couldn't have even wrapped my brain around such a concept. i was so scared, tired, alone, broken... all the various pieces of crap that come along with being an alcoholic.
today, i feel amazing! i feel hope, courage, fellowship. my head is clear upon waking every day, and i sleep through the night instead of passing out. i enjoy meals with my family, instead of just trying to pound something down so they see me put something other than wine into my body. i read stories to my kids at night without slurring, and i remember each morning exactly what we read together. i actually talk to my husband in the evenings (when i'm not in a meeting) instead of blacking out on the couch.
most surprisingly, i am full of a peace and calm that is beyond my imagination. i've always tried to find that in myself... tried a million different ways to get it, but always failed. the insane part is that i'm not even actively trying to be in that state right now... i just am! (well, with the exception of my initial reaction to mother-in-law visiting the other day!) and here i thought giving up the drink would make me more angry, more anxious, more quick-to-flip, more miserable in every way.
in my drunken mind, it was only the constant consumption of wine that kept me even slightly tethered to such a fragile hold on my emotions and sanity. it was one of my greatest fears that giving up the wine would make me meaner, angrier, more unable to handle the stresses of life. i had myself convinced that the alcohol was the only thing keeping me from becoming an even bigger monster.
and here i sit today... just ten days sober and actually happy, joyous and free! kind and thoughtful. patient with my kids (i haven't even yelled at them once... again, without trying. i've tried to break that nasty habit for YEARS on my own, never with much success.) hopeful. eager. willing. just bloody amazing!
i remember coming here in those last few days of my drunk. i was terrified... and so many of you jumped in with kindness and support and belief. i can never thank you all enough. it's just not possible. but as meager as it is, thank you!!!
i know i have a long road ahead of me in recovery... but today i am just grateful to have the chance to keep taking steps on that road.
wishing you all a day of peace, healing, comfort and joy.
p.s... there is no bloody way i'm drinking today!!!
this is day 10 for me... double digits!
eleven, twelve days ago... i couldn't have even wrapped my brain around such a concept. i was so scared, tired, alone, broken... all the various pieces of crap that come along with being an alcoholic.
today, i feel amazing! i feel hope, courage, fellowship. my head is clear upon waking every day, and i sleep through the night instead of passing out. i enjoy meals with my family, instead of just trying to pound something down so they see me put something other than wine into my body. i read stories to my kids at night without slurring, and i remember each morning exactly what we read together. i actually talk to my husband in the evenings (when i'm not in a meeting) instead of blacking out on the couch.
most surprisingly, i am full of a peace and calm that is beyond my imagination. i've always tried to find that in myself... tried a million different ways to get it, but always failed. the insane part is that i'm not even actively trying to be in that state right now... i just am! (well, with the exception of my initial reaction to mother-in-law visiting the other day!) and here i thought giving up the drink would make me more angry, more anxious, more quick-to-flip, more miserable in every way.
in my drunken mind, it was only the constant consumption of wine that kept me even slightly tethered to such a fragile hold on my emotions and sanity. it was one of my greatest fears that giving up the wine would make me meaner, angrier, more unable to handle the stresses of life. i had myself convinced that the alcohol was the only thing keeping me from becoming an even bigger monster.
and here i sit today... just ten days sober and actually happy, joyous and free! kind and thoughtful. patient with my kids (i haven't even yelled at them once... again, without trying. i've tried to break that nasty habit for YEARS on my own, never with much success.) hopeful. eager. willing. just bloody amazing!
i remember coming here in those last few days of my drunk. i was terrified... and so many of you jumped in with kindness and support and belief. i can never thank you all enough. it's just not possible. but as meager as it is, thank you!!!
i know i have a long road ahead of me in recovery... but today i am just grateful to have the chance to keep taking steps on that road.
wishing you all a day of peace, healing, comfort and joy.
p.s... there is no bloody way i'm drinking today!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 611
Awesome positive attitude! Glad you are getting some peace, it is one if the greatest rewards of sobriety for me too. Waking up sober is pretty amazing - most days I wake up feeling so refreshed. Waking up with a hangover every single day was killing me. Absolutely miserable. Now instead of that misery you have some joy and hope. Thank you for sharing it here.
Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 94
What a wonderful and inspiring post! Thank you for sharing. I see a lot of myself in what you wrote, particularly the part about being more patient with my kids and feeling more at peace. I hope in 6 days I'm as good a place as you 
Peace
Peace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: northern virginia
Posts: 535
thanks, everyone.
johndee... i'm so grateful that my post spoke to you so deeply. way to go on two days! i look forward to helping you celebrate your first ten, as well! peace to you...
johndee... i'm so grateful that my post spoke to you so deeply. way to go on two days! i look forward to helping you celebrate your first ten, as well! peace to you...
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