royale18

Well, here I am back at Day 1. I realized when I started this it was gonna be hard, but I didn't realize that "relapse" was gonna hurt so much. I'm so upset with myself.....I had a plan and it was working, I kept myself busy until my normal bedtime, was out and active and then came home and there was wine sitting in the fridge because my wife's friend had come over and brought it. Next thing I know, I've had almost 2 bottles of wine, it's 1am and I'm hammered and on the phone with my friend who's trying to help me since she's 3 years sober. I feel like such an idiot today. I literally couldn't get my butt out of bed to get my son to school today and am thankful that my wife could. Now I'm foggy brained and have a phone interview in 45 minutes and feel nervous about what should be a slam dunk call. I know I need to just get back to work and start over, but I feel stupid and ashamed...and apparently those feelings aren't enough for me to quit. I have a plan, it was working and I feel like I got 'sabotaged'. I know it's my own fault and I need to own it, but it's hard. So today I'm starting over with a new plan. I'm not gonna worry about how long I've been sober, I'm just gonna be sober today.

Nonsensical

Welcome back. Keep fighting!

doggonecarl

My last relapse proved to me that my "plan" needed a lot of work.

My plan was to quit drinking...soon realized that quitting was a goal. I needed a plan to get there.

A goal without a plan is just a wish. I could never wish myself sober, though I tried for ten years.