New Here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Reston, VA
Posts: 3
New Here
Hey guys,
I'm 21 years old, have my own apartment in a great city just outside DC; I have an amazing job at a law firm that pays extremely well and I live with my amazing boyfriend (with whom I had my first kiss in kindergarten
Sounds great, right? I'm young, have been told I'm beautiful and have my whole life in front of me! I'm intelligent, well-educated and...I'm an alcoholic. There, I said it. It's not as though I haven't been treated as such, but, to admit it to myself is a big deal for me. When I actually take the time to think about how I've lived for the past few years, it makes me sick. I'm disgusted by myself. But I digress-
I didn't have my first drink until I was sixteen years old. Earlier, I was just too turned off by all the calories- I suffered from fairly severe anorexia in my early high school years. But, as I recovered, I started to emerge from my shell and before I knew it, I had an older, popular, HOT boyfriend...who drank. I don't blame him for my problems. But I will say I became a completely different person after having dating him. We became long-term and he left for college- a "party school". So I followed him. I dumped him after about half a semester and then went crazy (for lack of a better term). I lost my virginity to him- a year and a half later I've slept with nearly thirty people (call me a ****, I've heard worse). I've been hospitalized four separate times for alcohol-related reasons...I've never had my stomach pumped or "alcohol poisoning", however I have had saline drips and other visits due to alcohol-related injuries. I have a bottle of Burnettes 100 proof that has been in my possession for about three days- it's nearly gone (mind you, I am a hundred-pound, 5'2, 21-year-old girl). I'm on various medications for depression and anxiety; I feel as though this contributes to my constant blackouts- however, I am not in any way trying to shift blame. My drinking is out of control and it is beginning to affect my life in very serious ways. I don't want to lose my job...I don't want to lose my boyfriend! If you've made it this far, thank you. I appreciate you reading. I just need help and I'm not sure how to get it.
I'm 21 years old, have my own apartment in a great city just outside DC; I have an amazing job at a law firm that pays extremely well and I live with my amazing boyfriend (with whom I had my first kiss in kindergarten
Sounds great, right? I'm young, have been told I'm beautiful and have my whole life in front of me! I'm intelligent, well-educated and...I'm an alcoholic. There, I said it. It's not as though I haven't been treated as such, but, to admit it to myself is a big deal for me. When I actually take the time to think about how I've lived for the past few years, it makes me sick. I'm disgusted by myself. But I digress-I didn't have my first drink until I was sixteen years old. Earlier, I was just too turned off by all the calories- I suffered from fairly severe anorexia in my early high school years. But, as I recovered, I started to emerge from my shell and before I knew it, I had an older, popular, HOT boyfriend...who drank. I don't blame him for my problems. But I will say I became a completely different person after having dating him. We became long-term and he left for college- a "party school". So I followed him. I dumped him after about half a semester and then went crazy (for lack of a better term). I lost my virginity to him- a year and a half later I've slept with nearly thirty people (call me a ****, I've heard worse). I've been hospitalized four separate times for alcohol-related reasons...I've never had my stomach pumped or "alcohol poisoning", however I have had saline drips and other visits due to alcohol-related injuries. I have a bottle of Burnettes 100 proof that has been in my possession for about three days- it's nearly gone (mind you, I am a hundred-pound, 5'2, 21-year-old girl). I'm on various medications for depression and anxiety; I feel as though this contributes to my constant blackouts- however, I am not in any way trying to shift blame. My drinking is out of control and it is beginning to affect my life in very serious ways. I don't want to lose my job...I don't want to lose my boyfriend! If you've made it this far, thank you. I appreciate you reading. I just need help and I'm not sure how to get it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Originally Posted by mag1992 
I just need help and I'm not sure how to get it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
It sure sounds like you'd be better off sober. You're very young to have so many alcohol related problems. Best quit drinking before the bottom drops out, and eventually it will.
Have you thought about AA? There are meetings all over and it's worth a try. Find some meetings in your area and go to a few.
Virginia AA - Area 71 of Alcoholics Anonymous - Meeting Search
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Dundee, Scotland
Posts: 23
I am just a few years older than you and am at a similar crossroads in my life. I have a supportive partner, but am clinging on by a thread to my course and my job due to my alcoholism. I also suffer from depression and use alcohol as a crutch or drink to excess to blank out my problems. I'm hoping that I can turn the corner and live a sober life.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
welcome to SR mag
You'll find a ton of support here
If things are really rough, you might consider face to face support too?
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
You can turn things around - many of us have
D
You'll find a ton of support here
If things are really rough, you might consider face to face support too?
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
You can turn things around - many of us have
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Reston, VA
Posts: 3
Well I'm happy to say I dumped the rest of the bottle this morning it's a small victory but certainly on the right track. I appreciate the welcome you guys have given me; I have considered AA before but admit I am hesitant mainly because I've heard so much of the "I heard those meetings make you want to drink". Whether that's true or not I suppose I'll have to find out myself. I need all the support I can get.
it's a small victory but certainly on the right track. I appreciate the welcome you guys have given me; I have considered AA before but admit I am hesitant mainly because I've heard so much of the "I heard those meetings make you want to drink". Whether that's true or not I suppose I'll have to find out myself. I need all the support I can get.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome mag. I hope SR will help and encourage you as much as it did me. I really appreciated not feeling alone anymore.
Be glad you've decided to take action now. Many of us continued on for decades, trying to control the amounts we drank, slowly destroying ourselves. This never has to happen to you. I think it's a good idea to give AA a shot and see what you think. Whatever you decide, we're glad you're here - and I hope you'll keep posting.
Be glad you've decided to take action now. Many of us continued on for decades, trying to control the amounts we drank, slowly destroying ourselves. This never has to happen to you. I think it's a good idea to give AA a shot and see what you think. Whatever you decide, we're glad you're here - and I hope you'll keep posting.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
