TM75

4 days into my bender now and deteriorating rapidly. I can't remember much of yesterday (odd snippets keep coming back to me) but I do know that I wanted to die last night - it was a very encouraging thought. That was my plan yet I was too drunk to be able to put it into action.

I woke up at 3.30am on my bedroom floor half-dressed. Been throwing up ever since. Maybe, my drinking saved my life for once!!!! My plan for today is to drastically reduce and start fresh tomorrow. I hope to report that tomorrow. Thank you for your support everyone. You've all been a godsend.

Dee74

why not get some help TM? see a Dr?

here are some crisis numbers too
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

Mind Positive Choices | Need Help
D

Midlifecrisis

I would see someone ASAP. You don't want to be in that position agajn. I know what it's like to be suicidal and it's an awful place to be. Good luck to you. Keep posting

Rebelives

You can do it! I read on here a good quote which I keep reminding myself of, 'The cravings won't kill you but the alcohol might'...I just keep telling myself that. Don't let the guilt that inevitably comes with a bender trick you into thinking that all hope is lost, use this moment for the best purpose of all..to realise and REMEMBER just how bad this poison has made you feel, how much it's bought you down. YOU are better than this, and you DESERVE to have a fullfilling and happy life. Throw away that guilt, discard it like you would your empty bottles, we can do this, both you and I and we will.

Living

Please seek help! You never have to go through this again. You can do it!

Nighthawk8820

Dude, you may want to consider getting some help. I think you are at the stage, especially with the suicidal thoughts and plans, where you really need to give yourself over to the professionals and begin to heal. Its scary, but you cant keep doing this type of thing. One of these times, you wont be so lucky to wake up the next day. I pray you will seek out some help, somewhere...........anywhere. As bad as things seem today and lately, I promise you that it will get SO much better if you take the first step, and that is getting some help.

least

So far it doesn't seem like your "drastically reducing" plan is working. Why not quit altogether?

MIRecovery

FInd a detox center and go. YOUR LIFE IS A PRECIOUS GIFT PLEASE DO NOT WASTE IT

quitforme79

On my last night drinking I did try to kill myself & ended up in the hospital. Please seek help today.

Hevyn

TM - We're very concerned for you. I join the others in hoping you'll seek some help. Please check back in soon. Here's where the nightmare can end - it'll be so good to be free of it and really begin living.

sparky78

Please get help. Suicide is nothing to mess around with, you could make one stupid drunken mistake and hurt everyone who loves you & would have to live without you for a lifetime... Detox sounds like your only option, there is no bottom lower than death.

Michael66

TM. You are precious and irreplaceable. Please do whatever you need to do to look after yourself, and get safely to the other side of this crisis. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

zalfa

Cutting back never, ever works. I recommend seeing a doctor and possibly going to AA.

I know it's hard to accept the concept of never drinking again, but it's the only way for most of us. Suicidal thoughts come hand in hand when drinking heavily, because alcohol is a depressant.