Grungehead

To stay sober you have to have a plan. I drank to escape my problems and numb my feelings. Now that I am sober I need something besides alcohol to deal with my problems and feelings. That's where the plan comes in. Let's call this plan a recovery plan. A plan that will help us learn to deal with life without drinking, because let's face it life is not going to change just because we can't deal with it. We have to be the one to change in order to deal with life.

In this plan we have to get completely honest with ourselves. First we need to recognize what problems and which feelings make us reach for the bottle. Knowing that is an important first step, but then comes the hard part...replacing the bottle with our plan. I am not going to recommend a plan because everyone is different and one person's plan might not work for another person. But remember, you have to have a plan. And the plan will not seek you out, you have to seek out the plan.

OK so now we have identified the problems and feelings that make us drink, and we now have a plan to help us cope with those problems and feelings without drinking. Now comes another hard part...sticking to the plan when the **** hits the fan. Here is where practicing the plan over and over until it becomes natural is necessary. Just about anybody that is really good at something has practiced what they do over and over. We want to be really good at not drinking.

So we need to:

*quit drinking
*identify what problems and which feelings make us want to drink
*find a plan that will help us deal with these problems and feelings
*practice our plan
*Stick to the plan when the **** hits the fan

BTW I am no expert and have had plenty of experience ignoring my plan, which has always resulted in me drinking again. I have had 2 stretches of long term sobriety (5+ years each time) when I had some kind of plan in place, even though I didn't practice my plan as much as I should have. An imperfect plan is better than no plan.

The reason I typed this out is because I see a lot of people come here desperate to stop drinking but they have no plan. I want to emphasize that staying sober without a plan is extremely difficult (impossible for me). I have learned this the hard way so I want to save people years of frustration and heartache by simply finding a plan to stay sober and practicing it every day.

I just finished my 48th day sober. I am grateful that I have a plan to stay sober on day 49.

LadyinBC

What a great post grungehead! I really had to work on people, places and things when I quit. I really believe you have to change these things too. I finally realized that I was the problem, not the alcohol. And I saw a drug and alcohol counselor which really helped me.

I also tried many times to quit and was at a loss at what I was suppose to do after I did. Sometimes we need a little nudge or someone to help point us in the right direction.

Zencat

Lost of good points in your post Grungehead

Having a plan or what I call a "wellness program" has helped me tremendously!
I have to address my addiction along with my; emotional health, mental health, physical health and expand my naturalistic spiritual awareness.

I want more than to a plug in the jug. I want a better way of living.

ChooseSobriety

Grundgehead,

What an absolutely fantastic post. Humor, humility and grace all in one..Bravo

Now back to my plan, it's called the Don't drink and work on my s**t for the rest of my life plan :-)

Love,

CS

ChooseSobriety

Grungehead,

What an absolutely fantastic post. Humor, humility and grace all in one..Bravo

Now back to my plan, it's called the Don't drink and work on my s**t for the rest of my life plan :-)

Love,

CS

GracieLou

For me it is clear the "stuff" out and then work on not letting new "stuff" cause me to want to hide in the bottle again plan.

I know how to drink. I need to learn how to live sober. I think doing that will stop the "stuff" from hitting the fan in the first place. Life is still going to happen but how I learn to deal with it is what will make the difference.

anchorbird

Thank you for this post.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction and he said the same thing. I also think having plan makes it more real and gives us steps to work on rather than an end. There is always a means to an end.

MIRecovery

That is what I like about AA they have a time-tested plan, it comes with a set of instructions, and tenured professors

Nuudawn

I'm on Day 2 and yesterday I wrote out a list of things to do in place of drinking. I'm only at 12 things so far and I know I need so much more. I joined SR today..so that's another thing. I know I need a sense of community. I'm not sure about AA yet. I have my own thoughts on that matter yet I certainly appreciate its fellowship. I have much more knowledge of faith and Christianity these days ..so it makes more sense to me personally than first time around. My troubles with AA are similar to my troubles with "religion" rather than a spirituality grounded in a faith of my understanding. That's not to say I have ruled AA out entirely..but I KNOW I need a plan. I need resources. I need to learn how to cope with life rather than just run away and get drunk.

Thank you for this post..thank you very much.

hypochondriac

Great post Grungehead x

Anna

I also believe a plan is important to have in place.

For me, books formed the basis of my plan, along with exercise/outdoor time and meditation.

I knew that I was the problem and that I had to figure out ways to change.

AliceCat

Thanks for a great post. It's given me ideas on how to go about getting myself pulled together. The plan is well-needed. I think I've been coasting along for a while. The **** hits the fan and then, well, I've started drinking again.
As a newcomer, this post has geared me up. Thank you.

WhyIsThisMyLife

Thanks! I know I need a plan, I just don't know what one is. I was doing so good for days, to the point I stopped taking antibuse. I wasn't thinking of drinking then an argument with my X sent me back. I feel alone. I wish I could join AA and I wish I could have a sponsor.

Grungehead

Thank you all for the compliments, but I give the credit to several of the veterans on this board for planting the seed of having a plan. I was half way just writing this out to reinforce this in my mind and decided to post it. If it helps anyone to benefit from adopting a plan for sobriety that means I was able to pass on what was freely given to me.

I will go on to say that the plan I use is AA, it has always worked for me when I was willing to "implement" it. But I realize that AA is not for everyone. I have two goals in recovery...to stay sober and to be reasonably happy with my life. I say reasonably because life has its ups and downs whether you have a problem with alcohol or not. I think any plan that achieves those goals for you is a good plan.

visch1

" I say reasonably because life has its ups and downs whether you have a problem with alcohol or not. I think any plan that achieves those goals for you is a good plan." Very well stated! More than a few alcoholics expect that because we stop drinking things change which is true to a degree but it's not all roses because life is life with bumps. I needed to change by way of understanding why I became an alcoholic drinker and work to recognize and repair those characteristics. My training is from the fellowship of AA meetings for many years. thank you for the post. BE WELL

Deckard

This was a good bump. I think a lot of people will benefit from reading the OP!

Lightning Bug

Fail to plan, plan to fail.

I try to remember this adage.
thanks for the great post!

Grungehead

I wrote that 2 months ago...I must have been riding on a pink cloud at the time.

But seriously, I have continued to stick to my plan. I go to meetings regularly, I have a sponsor, I follow suggestions from people with experience staying sober, I am teachable, I am working the steps. Today I am at peace with myself in sobriety. That's a pretty big payoff for being willing to find a plan that works and sticking to it.

Newatthis34

Thanks for the post and the bump! I have been trying to quit now for over a year, and each time I've started up drinking again it's because of the thing you talk about - the lack of a plan. Especially on big occasions I seem to be incapable of dealing with cravings (holidays, parties, friends visiting etc). I still don't know how I will deal with the next thing that comes to threaten my sobriety and so I need to do something more concrete than stumbling into it without any strategy for extricating myself.

FourSeasons

Great post, Grundgehead. My current plan is to consistently remind myself that "one and done" is not an option for me.

I so much appreciate your suggestion on having a plan in place. My plan is that I need to remain mindful and present. For me, staying mindful and present all the time is going to be challenging.

However, this is what I must do and I must also consistently remind myself that "one is not an option for me".

The reason I typed this out is because I see a lot of people come here desperate to stop drinking but they have no plan. I want to emphasize that staying sober without a plan is extremely difficult (impossible for me). I have learned this the hard way so I want to save people years of frustration and heartache by simply finding a plan to stay sober and practicing it every day.