First post, just saying Hi.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Fleetwood, Lancs
Posts: 56
First post, just saying Hi.
Hi all,
Just a quick post to say hi. I am a 39-year old alcoholic chap, living in the North West of England. In a scenario that many of you will will be familiar with, I'm a binge drinker for whom having the first drink is tantamount to having 20. I have no control at all over the amount that I drink, the only barriers being how much money I have in my pocket and the patience of the pub landlord. I hold down a decent job, but take regular says off sick because of the previous night's antics. I owe around £20k in debt, all of which is down to my drinking over the years.
On Thursday last week I finally had my "rock bottom" moment. I play in a band and had an important gig on Firday night, but on Thursday night I went out and drank for 14 hours. I got home at about 2pm Friday afternoon (having missed work again), collapsed in the living room, missed the gig, and felt just appalling the next day. I've never been so ashamed.
Yesterday I resolved to face up to my problem. I contacted the AA and will be attanding my first meeting this coming week. Right now am I just so angry with myself that abstinence is not a problem. I'd sooner smash up a bottle of booze than drink it. But further down the line I'm sure that as my anger dims I'll be back where I started, borrowing money to drink and not turning into work the next day. Hence AA, which I think will give me a pathway to a more lasting abstinence.
Anyways, just wanted to say hello guys. Reading some of the posts on here from people who are long-term sober are incredibly inspiring, and posts from those in early recovery like me are reassuring if you know what I mean...it's just good to know that I'm not alone!
Just a quick post to say hi. I am a 39-year old alcoholic chap, living in the North West of England. In a scenario that many of you will will be familiar with, I'm a binge drinker for whom having the first drink is tantamount to having 20. I have no control at all over the amount that I drink, the only barriers being how much money I have in my pocket and the patience of the pub landlord. I hold down a decent job, but take regular says off sick because of the previous night's antics. I owe around £20k in debt, all of which is down to my drinking over the years.
On Thursday last week I finally had my "rock bottom" moment. I play in a band and had an important gig on Firday night, but on Thursday night I went out and drank for 14 hours. I got home at about 2pm Friday afternoon (having missed work again), collapsed in the living room, missed the gig, and felt just appalling the next day. I've never been so ashamed.
Yesterday I resolved to face up to my problem. I contacted the AA and will be attanding my first meeting this coming week. Right now am I just so angry with myself that abstinence is not a problem. I'd sooner smash up a bottle of booze than drink it. But further down the line I'm sure that as my anger dims I'll be back where I started, borrowing money to drink and not turning into work the next day. Hence AA, which I think will give me a pathway to a more lasting abstinence.
Anyways, just wanted to say hello guys. Reading some of the posts on here from people who are long-term sober are incredibly inspiring, and posts from those in early recovery like me are reassuring if you know what I mean...it's just good to know that I'm not alone!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Welcome, and you are definitely not alone. Good for you for having a plan to go to AA.
My anger towards myself was through the roof when I finally stopped drinking. Know that you never have to go through this again.
And, we are here to support you - not just with abstinence, but with your recovery.
My anger towards myself was through the roof when I finally stopped drinking. Know that you never have to go through this again.
And, we are here to support you - not just with abstinence, but with your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Welcome RunningClean!
I remember missing a DUI class, I was too drunk to drive. Can you imagine? Getting arrested didn't deter me. Oh, it did for about a week. Then I was back to drinking, but staying home.
Good for you facing this head on. I'm three years sober now and life couldn't be better.
You can do this and reclaim your life!
I remember missing a DUI class, I was too drunk to drive. Can you imagine? Getting arrested didn't deter me. Oh, it did for about a week. Then I was back to drinking, but staying home.
Good for you facing this head on. I'm three years sober now and life couldn't be better.
You can do this and reclaim your life!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Welcome RunningClean,
I found great support here on SR. Good for you for reaching out!
I don't know much but I do know for a fact that when I drink I hate myself and when I don't drink, I don't hate myself. The peace I get from that alone makes it all worth it for me.
Do whatever you have to do to have the life you deserve!
I found great support here on SR. Good for you for reaching out!
I don't know much but I do know for a fact that when I drink I hate myself and when I don't drink, I don't hate myself. The peace I get from that alone makes it all worth it for me.
Do whatever you have to do to have the life you deserve!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
Welcome Running. All so terribly painful, I know. Joined here few months back, and knowing I'm not alone, has helped my recovery. Would not have made it this far without SR and face to face meetings. Wishing you the very best, Rooting for ya
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: England
Posts: 53
I am the same- always so sure I'm ready to give up, that ill never drink again because I hated myself for what I was/ had done. But two weeks later, those thoughts and feelings reside a little, having one beer sounds like a treat for being so good. And then it starts again.. Keep strong. I think I will try AA too, let us know how it goes for you.
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