Shiek

I have been a part of this site for a little over two months (though reading them has helped me ENORMOUSLY, so thank you all), but tonight I am ready....My ex crack addict boyfriend broke up with me last night (whilst on crack) for the millionth time, but last night something inside me clicked, I had no interest in repairing the relationship or trying anymore...Too much damage has been done to me as a person by him, physical abuse as well as mental, all the lies, the manipulations, the missing money and time, I work in the health care field and work in nursing so I am not oblivious to addicts and their behavior, I am a very quiet person in reality and spend my days helping others but have finally decided
it's time to think about ME for once and I need to start by realizing I am the mistress to crack cocaine in this relationship and no matter what I do I cannot help this person, that is their own choice. A little information about me, I am 23 and my ex is 30 (you would think he would know better, but I know drugs don't care about age)...

Thank you for reading

BunnyNest

I remember the night that it suddenly "clicked" for me. It was all just so obvious all of a sudden! It was a little shocking how the switch just flipped. I went no contact at that point too.
Good for you for putting yourself first. Take care of yourself and continue to work on you!

Kindeyes

Good for you for taking care of you!

gentle hugs
ke

Anaya

Welcome, Shiek.

Hoping for continued courage and strength for you, that you'll be safe and have a good support system.

LoveMeNow

Keep working on you whether you break up with him or not. Although this relationship may have been ery painful, if you allow it to be a learning lesson, a chance to grow and get emotionally healthy, it will not have been in vain. Often times, if we don't do the hard work now, we will repeat the same mistakes (in different but similar ways) over and over again.

Stay safe and be good to yourself.

Mountainmanbob

Momzo

Shiek, my switch flipped in December! I finally had enough of it. I was losing my sanity and my self worth. I have never went through any of this before. And I'm still healing...trying to understand, accept, love myself again. This wonderful site has helped me tremendously. We are not alone even though I feel like I am when I see my friends in'normal' relationships and I wonder 'why can't I have had that?' But I believe all things,good or bad, happen for a reason. Continue to take care of you

blueholly

Congrats I think it takes a flip of the switch or you can't really leave.... Just my HO That's what happened to me. I just snapped one day. Picked up the kids and left town. It has been good. It gets easier... Don't you feel some relief?