Nighthawk8820

Im getting super bored. I dont ever consider going back to my drinking or partying ways, but I pretty much lost all of my "friends", and I use that term loosely, so I spend a lot of time alone. I get along with my co-workers, and I love my job. Im used to having a huge social network, and now I spend almost all of my spare time alone, waxing my car, online, or getting into personal hobbies. I never joined AA, which perplexes many, but I found it bothersome and sort of boring. Does anyone have any advice for me? Its saturday night and here I sit, with my cat and Hulu.

Patrick

Dee74

Hi and welcome Patrick
I made new friends and connected up with old ones - do you have any hobbies or interests? Thats often a good way to meet up with like minded people.

Volunteering was good for me too

congrats on your 2 years

D

artsoul

I ditto what Dee said..... maybe find a hobby you can do with a group? Even taking a class or something like that would get you out of the house and around people.....

Nighthawk8820

Yeah, I want to branch out more. I can be somewhat introverted, which surprised people because they say I appear so bubbly and social. I work a TON, but I want to take some me time and find some people with similar interests. Thanks for the replies!!!

SereneEdition

Hi NightHawk -

Welcome & Congrats on 2 years!

To build on Dee's thoughts - Have you thought about classes or meetups (meetup.org)?

(edit - oops, I'm a slow typer!
Online dating can be fun too to get out and meet some new people)

DaveT

If you have remained sober for two years without the benefit of a spiritual experience found by working the twelve steps then its unlikely you are a chronic alcoholic as described in the Big Book of AA ( see doctors opinion ) and you are simply looking for a social life to replace the one you had while drinking. As a chronic alcoholic i cannot control my drinking and my sobriety is dependent upon a higher power ( no human power could have relieved our alcoholism ) There is no cure for chronic alcoholism only a daily reprieve based on a set of spiritual principles outlined in the Big Book and Twelve by Twelve.

1stthingsfirst

I am a non-spiritual person who has a serious issue with alcohol addiction. I have way too many "tapes" to play back - as well as stained shirts, mystery bruises and apologies made to friends and family. Simply put, I am an alcoholic.

I also feel uncomfortable with 12-stwp and know that AA will not work for me. I am bewildered at step one. I understand there are many, many valid and varied ways to interpret the 12-steps, but for me, I have to know that I am not powerless. I have all the power. I have the power to stop and make a better life for myself and my family. That said, AA has helped millions of people reclaim their lives and their dignity. It works for many/most people and it is a valued approach to recovery for many reasons. It just doesn't work for everyone. It is great that we have the choice to decide what method works best to keep us abstinent from our addiction.

Since this is the newbie forum, where a lot of us are still trying to get our bearings on what addiction means, what method will work best and most of all, "Am I an addict?" I am not sure that debate of this type is entirely helpful.

PeppyGirl

Hi Night Hawk,

I agree with the other people about taking a class. Check into your local community college and see if there is something that interests you. You will meet a bunch of people and learn something along the way.

Meeting people/friends as an adult is hard. Congrats on 2 years! That is awesome!

Hugs, PG

Nighthawk8820

I never said I didnt have a spiritual journey. I have given myself over to god and really built a sturdy foundation with the lord and the Universe. It was no easy task to just set down the bottle, and the only big book I follow is the bible. No one is exactly alike and I understand this is your opinion, but I can tell you that you are wrong and I am indeed an alcoholic. My body screamed for it, my brain squirmed for weeks without it, but I stuck it out and prayed and begged. Now I am here, so you tell me I didnt have a spiritual journey and I am so different than you are.

Nighthawk8820

Agreed!!! Each of us has our own demons and personal journey to go through. No one can sit there and say that their way is the only right way. What may work for you, may not work for someone else. The biggest thing I learned in my recovery is to be respectful and NEVER to think I am always right or that I know more than anyone else. Its this type of thinking that inhibits personal growth more than anything. I shared my story on the Recovery stories section if anyone wants to read it.

MsJax

Nighthawk, I have just over 2 years too and I know what you mean!

Have you checked out meetup.com? It's not a dating sight. It has tons of great groups. For example I joined a hiking group and a hiking with dogs group in my area. It may be a good way to meet new friends for you. My friend circle has become very small in sobriety too.

magnolia44

I completely disagree with DaveT. I have been agnostic all my life and have overcome addictions. I believe in willpower and inner strength. I do not believe that AA and giving over control to a higher power is the only way to overcome addiction, because in the end you are in control of everything that happens in your life. Your are a product of every thought you have ever had. Is your God going to come rip a bottle out of your hand? No. You have to make the decision to put it down on your own.

It's a sad thought that many people think it is the ONLY way, and maybe for that reason don't seek out help or recovery. Do what works for you, but that is YOU and everyone is different. It's not all black and white.