Just an update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 157
Just an update
Hey All,
I have missed my friends here
I just thought I would send out an update. So I moved into my own house. Some of you might know that I was living with my sister after leaving my AH.
I filed for full custody and was asking for supervised visitation until he passed a follicle test. When we finally went to court. After his attorney stalled for almost a month. (he actually had the balls to file for full custody also!) He totally snowballed the judge and bs'd his way through....
" I was a drug addict but I am not now. I was doing drugs cuz I was "working" so hard.." blah blah poor me...
Anyway the judge gave him one UN supervised visitation a month. I wasn't happy with that but I guess it could have been worse. He ordered him to a hair test. and a drug eval. HA who cares. You let him have unsupervised BEFORE the test and eval. And, I agree with dropsojupiter. It is all bs. Drug testing, evaluations ect... If he can bs a judge he can bs his way through that.
And now, that he claims he is "clean", no rehab, no nothing... whatever dude... He won't leave me alone.
He texts. every night. And wants to call "the kids" only to eventually ask for me. I avoid him. Dont text back. Tell the girls I will call back. Cuz its all bs.
I love you he says, I'm clean he says, I want to fix this...
I DON'T WANT TO FIX THIS! I tell him. He doesn't listen. It is exhausting. And still he lies. Told the judge our house was NOT in foreclosure, guess what, I get papers 2 days after court.
Lies about the porn. Buys a book on how to get women 2 weeks ago on our account and expects me to belive he bought it to "get me"
I wish i didn't have to have contact. But I have a little when he sees the kids. I realize now. It was easier when he was strung out and he didn't come home for days.
Oh well, I can surely say,
My worst day here, is still better than my best day there.
Why do you lie when you have already been caught...???
I have missed my friends here
I just thought I would send out an update. So I moved into my own house. Some of you might know that I was living with my sister after leaving my AH.
I filed for full custody and was asking for supervised visitation until he passed a follicle test. When we finally went to court. After his attorney stalled for almost a month. (he actually had the balls to file for full custody also!) He totally snowballed the judge and bs'd his way through....
" I was a drug addict but I am not now. I was doing drugs cuz I was "working" so hard.." blah blah poor me...
Anyway the judge gave him one UN supervised visitation a month. I wasn't happy with that but I guess it could have been worse. He ordered him to a hair test. and a drug eval. HA who cares. You let him have unsupervised BEFORE the test and eval. And, I agree with dropsojupiter. It is all bs. Drug testing, evaluations ect... If he can bs a judge he can bs his way through that.
And now, that he claims he is "clean", no rehab, no nothing... whatever dude... He won't leave me alone.
He texts. every night. And wants to call "the kids" only to eventually ask for me. I avoid him. Dont text back. Tell the girls I will call back. Cuz its all bs.
I love you he says, I'm clean he says, I want to fix this...
I DON'T WANT TO FIX THIS! I tell him. He doesn't listen. It is exhausting. And still he lies. Told the judge our house was NOT in foreclosure, guess what, I get papers 2 days after court.
Lies about the porn. Buys a book on how to get women 2 weeks ago on our account and expects me to belive he bought it to "get me"
I wish i didn't have to have contact. But I have a little when he sees the kids. I realize now. It was easier when he was strung out and he didn't come home for days.
Oh well, I can surely say,
My worst day here, is still better than my best day there.
Why do you lie when you have already been caught...???
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
You have really come so far. It's inspirational to so many of us. Thank you so much for your update.
IMO, the likelihood of him keeping his unsupervised visits for very long or at all are very slim but i agree one unsupervised visit is one to many. I am sorry your judge is just so ignorant to addiction.
IMO, the likelihood of him keeping his unsupervised visits for very long or at all are very slim but i agree one unsupervised visit is one to many. I am sorry your judge is just so ignorant to addiction.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
Well, I bet we can guess who has suddenly decided to shave his head for the Summer! 
Thanks for the update, it sounds like you're doing awesome! Congrats on moving into the new house. Even though you feel exhausted your story is actually very inspirational. Where there is a will there is always a way. It's too bad about the unsupervised visit, but like LMN said, hopefully that won't last very long, especially as it sounds like he's basically using the kids as pawns to get to you. So sad. I'm glad they have a strong, healthy mom on their side.
Thanks for the update, it sounds like you're doing awesome! Congrats on moving into the new house. Even though you feel exhausted your story is actually very inspirational. Where there is a will there is always a way. It's too bad about the unsupervised visit, but like LMN said, hopefully that won't last very long, especially as it sounds like he's basically using the kids as pawns to get to you. So sad. I'm glad they have a strong, healthy mom on their side.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Just keep doing the next right thing for you and your children and the rest will take care of itself.
A pox on that judge. When there is addiction involved, Judges should listen to the party who is not the addict. Therein lies the truth.
Hugs and wishes for happier days ahead. You've come a very long way, the rest should be easier.
A pox on that judge. When there is addiction involved, Judges should listen to the party who is not the addict. Therein lies the truth.
Hugs and wishes for happier days ahead. You've come a very long way, the rest should be easier.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 157
Ann,
I agree with the judge thing. That judge actually said if all drug users were as honest as you it would make my job easier. R U KIDDING ME?? Just because he sat up there and admitted to using drugs DOES NOT MEAN HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH!!
He also said "you don't look like a meth user" I swear. Not all meth users "look" the part. I mean I have learned that a lot of professionals use and no one ever knows. That damn judge doesn't know my AH from adam. How does he know what he should look like. Just because he is 6'4 and 300lbs. Does not mean he isn't using. So if you are not bone thin and losing your teeth you are not a user? HAH!
And, I had photographic evidence, and bank statements, and, all the computer history printed..... and he takes his b.s. It is crazy....
sorry for the rant.... It just drives me nuts...
The so called "justice" system is a joke....
I agree with the judge thing. That judge actually said if all drug users were as honest as you it would make my job easier. R U KIDDING ME?? Just because he sat up there and admitted to using drugs DOES NOT MEAN HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH!!
He also said "you don't look like a meth user" I swear. Not all meth users "look" the part. I mean I have learned that a lot of professionals use and no one ever knows. That damn judge doesn't know my AH from adam. How does he know what he should look like. Just because he is 6'4 and 300lbs. Does not mean he isn't using. So if you are not bone thin and losing your teeth you are not a user? HAH!
And, I had photographic evidence, and bank statements, and, all the computer history printed..... and he takes his b.s. It is crazy....
sorry for the rant.... It just drives me nuts...
The so called "justice" system is a joke....
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