Scott6433

Very brief history...just go ahead and check yes on just about every box of any standardized questionnaire for addiction in general. Drinking has become my specialty for some years now. A year old dwi, loss of job, and whatever attempt I was trying to make at a relationship of course all gone with the exception of the repercussions of said dwi (no injuries no one was hurt bac .11, pulled over for speeding on a heavily patrolled highway)...coming back from Father's Day dinner ironically enough with my probably alcoholic parents/family. This was my second one in just shy of a 5 yr span so the penalties are a bit stiffer this time and perhaps rightfully so. I had been dealing with all of these things to the best of my ability (including a 59 day sober period) beginning on my join date but sadly ending 59 days later once life started catching up to me. Long story short it's been a ****storm ever since. Back in November I was drinking about 4 bottles of red wine per day and not taking care of myself in any way, shape or form imaginable. 11/24 rolled around I was fine...same with the 25th,26th,27th and well you get the point. No Dts...nothing but boredom, loneliness and the usual depression. For all intent and purpose I was still drunk and just redirecting my behavior in other addictive forms i.e. online video games. Granted my cigarette smoking cut down quite a bit and I was at least I was eating more etc. It just feels different this time. A lot more hopeless. My parents have money which is both a blessing as well as a curse to me. I have let everything go to Hell so in addition to them bank rolling this DWI which got pretty intense with hiring private investigators, BAC specialists, the very best attorney etc., they have been cleaning up my usual financial train wrecks which of course creates a massive amount of guilt and strife on my end so my brain immediately goes to the black and white line of thinking...simply remove the problem which of course is me. I have been researching these 90 day places which I gather are recommended for years to no avail really as I get very discouraged from the low success rates not to mention you have to "want" to get better to even try it. Of course I have no health insurance. I just don't know what to do at this point nor what would be best for me? The safe and sound self detox I had back in Nov. was a breeze and perhaps because a lot of other life events and stresses and not yet come in the picture. Per usual things have just piled up in a very big way this time. Sorry for the long preamble so with that said. 1) Has anyone had a positive experience with 90 day in? 2) I know it's not cheap and the thought of me even entertaining taking yet more of their money which they have offered makes me sick to my stomach especially when I think of what it may do to them mentally possibly having to come to terms with their own alcohol, addiction, codependency issues. They are 76 and 66. They are still kicking but not in the greatest health...1 with bladder cancer and the other emphysema. I just don't know if that's the sort of thing I need and more so if I could ever live with the guilt of taking/wasting yet more of their money if it didn't work. Even if it miraculously did I feel it would haunt me for the rest of my life and easily trigger me yet again. Thanks guys for listening and I apologize for it being so long. As always I applaud each and every one of you for your continued sobriety and or attempts.

Scott6433

Just a quick side note. My parents are good hard working people (now of course retired), that did very well for themselves. Aside from their own daily and I do mean daily drunk driving they are law abiding and responsible people. They just never got "caught". It just really adds to the dilemma. Quite frankly they see nothing wrong with what I did as it's been a family practice for years. It is impossible to ever justify drinking and driving but just for the record these are profoundly codependent, calculated and careful partners so I don't want any of you to get the wrong idea that they are the ones driving 75 mph down the wrong way of a 1 way street. It's wrong regardless but I'm sorry I do still feel that their are 2 different types of drunk drivers and yes it's sad that I feel that way furthermore that it may in fact have some bearing.

yukonm

Hi Scott6433. 90 day treatment centers CAN help but are not a guarantee that one will stay sober as you mentioned the low success rate. I have never been to a 90 day facility but have been in two 30 day facilities. I am a master at manipulations and was able to 'play the game' and 'graduate' from both......with everyone knowing that I had 'got it'. WRONG!!
Going to treatment to satisfy the courts, my family, my job....did not work. what worked for me was an honest desire to stop drinking and the willingness to go to any lengths to maintain my sobriety and what I have used to make that possible is FREE. I went to AA and embraced the program, worked the steps and got involved in service. It takes daily maintenance and I am grateful for tools to enable me to do this.
Getting and staying sober takes daily work and I start out each day with prayer, meditation, reading and reaching out. Today I view the work not as a task but as an opportunity to start my day grounded in recovery and spiritually centered. My sobriety date is 8/21/07.
Good luck to you.

visch1

Hi. I'm reminded of my period of dry-sober-dry periods. After being sick and tired of being sick and tired I and a good AA friend decided I had to get honest with myself and stop all the rationalizing because at that point I wanted to drink more than I wanted to get sober, forget all the BUTs. So with that in mind I needed to WANT to get sober for myself. Simple but not easy at times. Putting my pride in my pocket I got very involved in AA by accepting the fact that I could NOT drink in safety. Many meetings followed even at times I didn't want to go at times. I didn't like at times what I heard I needed to do to stay sober but they were correct. AA is proven to be a great place to gather with our situations because we are among people who understand us and is quite inexpensive. Seeing there are so many different personalities there are other ways to stop drinking, however I don't think there are many/any with a long term track record. For me, and I'm not a very social person, I need person to person recovery. These forums are a very good fill in in my opinion. BE WELL

bigsombrero

Hi Scott - interesting questions and history here, you have a lot going on in your head. Allow me to spew my thoughts, please.

You seem to be hell-bent on finding a 90 day in-patient program. Have you ever been to treatment before? I don't think it's how LONG you're in that matters, but rather how you process the experience. I was in inpatient for 23 days last summer. It was my first experience. And I took it SERIOUSLY. There were plenty of people who didn't - as the poster mentioned above, a lot of folks are there just to "go through the motions". So it all depends on your level of commitment - you can skate by in a 90-day program, or you can take a 15-day program seriously...which one do you think will work better?

Secondly, I see a lot of talk about your DWIs, DUIs, BACs, and the like. I also see mentions of lawyers and private investigators. Seems like you're all wrapped up in the legal ramifications: you gotta step back from that tangled web, pronto. You are so wrapped up in that stuff right now, but none of that is important! You gotta get sober, man.

A 90-day inpatient program doesnt' magically solve all your problems, it's not a car-wash. You gotta change your way of thinking, you gotta simplify things. This whole process is full of small steps, so don't put the cart before the horse here. My advice would be to research treatment facilities that are affordable to you, find support groups (many of which are FREE) and some kind of professional councilor to help you make the right decisions.