My first cry in a long time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Posts: 44
My first cry in a long time
I'm bawling my head off right now. 
My husband just told me go sleep with someone else, do whatever you want, I don't care. But you're not keeping my baby from me. I know wives who HATE their husbands and treat them better than you do!!!
His mom is watching my girls for the summer so I told him I've had enough and I'm finding someone else to watch them until him and his mom will stop lying to me and manipulating me. I HATE confrontation and I HATE being rude to my elders but he called and told her what I'm doing and she called me telling me that I am hard to be around too. She said "It's just that you try to pick fights when he's in a bad mood" and "You roll your eyes at him". I said "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! ROLLING MY EYES IS THE EXTENT OF MY WRONG DOINGS?! My husband, your son, is shooting heroin up his arm on a daily basis and it's hurting EVERYONE and you guys all want to look at ME and say I'M the problem because I ROLL MY EYES AT HIM!?!?!?!?"
Then she told me to come get the girls before she gets any closer to her new grandbaby (7months old) and she started crying and hung up on me.
OHHHHH MYYYY goshhh! My heart is shattered. I'm a mess. I hate disappointing people, I hate making people sad, I hate making people mad!
I hate LIARS!
My husband just told me go sleep with someone else, do whatever you want, I don't care. But you're not keeping my baby from me. I know wives who HATE their husbands and treat them better than you do!!!
His mom is watching my girls for the summer so I told him I've had enough and I'm finding someone else to watch them until him and his mom will stop lying to me and manipulating me. I HATE confrontation and I HATE being rude to my elders but he called and told her what I'm doing and she called me telling me that I am hard to be around too. She said "It's just that you try to pick fights when he's in a bad mood" and "You roll your eyes at him". I said "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! ROLLING MY EYES IS THE EXTENT OF MY WRONG DOINGS?! My husband, your son, is shooting heroin up his arm on a daily basis and it's hurting EVERYONE and you guys all want to look at ME and say I'M the problem because I ROLL MY EYES AT HIM!?!?!?!?"
Then she told me to come get the girls before she gets any closer to her new grandbaby (7months old) and she started crying and hung up on me.
OHHHHH MYYYY goshhh! My heart is shattered. I'm a mess. I hate disappointing people, I hate making people sad, I hate making people mad!
I hate LIARS!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 83
I'm sorry that's terrible. There's nothing wrong with a good cry though. Push it all out!
Don't feel guilty. That's what they do. Isn't that why we keep giving them 2nd & 3rd & 4000 chances? Guilt oh & that annoying thing called love haha. Sounds like his mum is in denial or maybe she just doesn't know how to deal with the situation. Or maybe she has not been lied to by him as much as you have. Lies hurt. Especially when lies are the only words you get. I feel resentment at my partner for putting me in this situation. 2 kids, not much money, no reliable father/man. Who can help but roll their eyes! My partner tells me I always want to argue & his favourite is 'stop living in the past'. Uhmm hello it happened last week & nothing was resolved!!! So yes I'm snappy but it's pretty hard not to.
Sorry I don't think I'm helping! What I'm trying to say is your reactions are completely normal. It's not your fault! If you think it will help, try talk to his mother & explain how you feel. It doesn't matter if she doesn't understand. At least you got your message out there
Don't feel guilty. That's what they do. Isn't that why we keep giving them 2nd & 3rd & 4000 chances? Guilt oh & that annoying thing called love haha. Sounds like his mum is in denial or maybe she just doesn't know how to deal with the situation. Or maybe she has not been lied to by him as much as you have. Lies hurt. Especially when lies are the only words you get. I feel resentment at my partner for putting me in this situation. 2 kids, not much money, no reliable father/man. Who can help but roll their eyes! My partner tells me I always want to argue & his favourite is 'stop living in the past'. Uhmm hello it happened last week & nothing was resolved!!! So yes I'm snappy but it's pretty hard not to.
Sorry I don't think I'm helping! What I'm trying to say is your reactions are completely normal. It's not your fault! If you think it will help, try talk to his mother & explain how you feel. It doesn't matter if she doesn't understand. At least you got your message out there
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Tleac...
Shhhh...take it easy. It's OK.
Addiction is an evil, pernicious MoFo. What your husband does or says isn't about you. It's about him. Right now, you need to remove yourself and your children from a toxic situation because it deteriorates further. I would ice his mother, too.
There are women on the board who have been through similar trials and heartaches. Some of them are recovering addicts themselves and have had to do a tremendous amount of work to get healthy and honest. My hope for you in the next couple of days is that you'll hear from them. Pay attention to what they share with you. It's important that your mind, eyes and ears are open.
Hang in there...
ZoSo
Shhhh...take it easy. It's OK.
Addiction is an evil, pernicious MoFo. What your husband does or says isn't about you. It's about him. Right now, you need to remove yourself and your children from a toxic situation because it deteriorates further. I would ice his mother, too.
There are women on the board who have been through similar trials and heartaches. Some of them are recovering addicts themselves and have had to do a tremendous amount of work to get healthy and honest. My hope for you in the next couple of days is that you'll hear from them. Pay attention to what they share with you. It's important that your mind, eyes and ears are open.
Hang in there...
ZoSo
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Addiction is an evil, pernicious MoFo.
tleac
Addiction affects everyone around it. His mother is in emotional pain as a result of her son's addiction.....just like you are. The entire family is caught in the confusion that is the dance of addiction. The whole family is on the dance floor trying to live in the dysfunction. And nothing changes until something changes.
What are you doing to help yourself? Meetings? Counseling? Reading? You're here on SR and that's a very positive step. There are a lot of resources to help you navigate the evil, pernicious MoFo that is addiction.
Breathe deep and stick around. There's a ton of great information around here. There are lots of people who have been dealing with addiction in a family member(s) for a very long time. There are lots of tools that you can learn to help your life become more manageable.
Take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
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