Maxamuus

I honestly don't get it.

I just spent 50K dollars and 2 months of my life getting sober, going thru detox and rehab. I was high on life and everything seemed so great. Going to meetings 5 times a week, got my 30 day chip. Everything was looking so GREAT!

I come home and two days later, im drunk again. I honestly felt like I was making progress, yet here I am yet again. I honestly don't know what the hell is wrong with me and why I cant stop.

helenwulfgar

Are you still around the same influences that made you drink? One thing I noticed with the many people I knew who went to rehab and came back- they went to their same routine, same friends, same everything. They then fell back to old habits.
Also, going from such a great setting to same ol' same ol' can be a trigger.
wish I had some pointers, but you have resources available. Use them whenever you can!

artsoul

There's nothing "wrong" with you....Those 30 days still count, they weren't wasted..... and you can get back on track.

Maybe try to look at it in terms of problem solving/building a better relapse plan (i.e. figuring out where the weak spots are). Sounds like you had a pretty good thing going and you can do it again!

Dee74

Hi and welcome maxamus

It's a lot harder to stay sober in the world than it is in rehab, I think.
You must have learnt things in there to help you tho?

D

Midlifecrisis

You're an addict/alcoholic. It's not easy.

Well done on the recovery you have so far. Hopefully you can pick yourself back up and continue. Your lapse obviously bothers you and you know what you want to do.

I can relate. I did rehab many years ago and I was back using very soon after and it just escalated from there. This time I relapsed 14 days out of detox. I am trying to pull myself back up now.

Good luck to you.

escapist

Good question. I dont know. I did'nt need a reason to drink. Drinking was the reason . Maybe that's why I could never answer the question why. When I stopped it was just me in a bathrobe and my laptop. The people here talked me through the whole ugly painful difficult mess of getting sober. I had no reason to drink but thousands of reasons not to. Keep trying.

Maxamuus

I need to get back on track. I just don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I have a good job, a great partner, everything I could want in life yet I cant stop drinking. I honestly don't understand it.

Gottalife

Are you familiar with the story of Rowland Hazard? (p26 Big Book) He had the exact same experience, a lot of money and time invested in therapy, a year of not drinking under his belt, he left the care of his doctor and was drunk in two weeks. His doctor was Carl Jung, and when he asked Jung that same question, the only suggestion that Jung could offer, aside from body guards or permanent hospitalisation, was that Rowland get his life on a spiritual path. This he did via the Oxford group, he passed the message on to ebby T, who went and saw Bill W, and AA was founded from there.

In my experience we each get these windows of opportunity to make spiritual progress with the steps. Some can faff around for years, some, like me, have only a few days to take action. The action is to work the steps quickly and thoroughly with a competent sponsor to guide you.

Usually, when further slips occur it can be down to the fact that the individual is either unwilling or unable to take the required action. Often something witheld in step 5, or like Dr Bob, an amends we refuse to make.

Rehabs are grat for getting you sober but staying sober needs a longer term approach. AA offers a way of living that brings about permanent recovery. The way of living is expressed in the steps. If we want to live the old way, pretty soon we get the old results. Take a look as Freds story page 39.

Wastinglife

I was in rehab last year. It's so easy when you are removed from your life, away from temptation with support around you 24 hrs a day. Then after the program, you go right back to the environment that fed your alcoholism to begin with. I am still in early recovery and have come to realize we need to fundamental changes to all aspects of out life.