Cisco7

This is my first time posting. I never knew my dad was an alcoholic until about 5 yrs ago. I'm almost 40. It got real bad late last year when he lost his job to "downsizzing" He is a lonely drinker and just recently came out of a 3 day detox and then a 3 week rehab. He swore he was goińg to stop. He. Has stopped and not drank for a whole year before . My mom threatens to leave him each time he relapses but never follows through. They even lived apart for a good 5 months, but then he was by himself and lonely again
So now my one sister cut my parents out of her life, leaving just me and anther sister to deal with it. He just got out of rehab, my mom went on a trip and he started drinking on the weekend. He is depressed, knows he needs help but I don't know what to do. I want to walk away but he's my dad and I was raised to respect him. If I stop supporting, he has no one. I'm afraid when my mom gets home from her trip she will leave him and he will be even more alone. He's a smart man but I feel like I am not the one who should be telling him what do do . How do I make him realize he needs to change. ?? Thanks. It feels better just to type this out

Mracoa

He knows he needs to change. Often by 'supporting' our A parents we enable them. They will sometimes prey on this, either consciously or unconsciously and multiply our shame and guilt if we don't give them what they want. I'm not sure if that is true in your situation. If it strikes a cord, you may want to consider attending Alanon.

Has he been to AA?

Cisco7

He has been to AA and it helps him. But he is having trouble getting there, consistently making excuses and putting it off. I want to help but need to keep my own sanity

DavidG

Your dad is not bad, he is sick.

If he had a broken leg people would rally round and support him.

If was walking around on his broken leg, then people might get sick of supporting him.

Never cease to love him- he is your dad...

Alanon can give support... well worth a try...

if you hang about, this forum too has people who have bin there, done that.

You are not alone. It takes courage to reach out. :>)

DavidG
New Zealand.

Kialua

This is no fun for you to go through. Please find Alanon for you to attend and get some support to get through this time. There you will learn the three C's:
You didn't Cause it
You can't Control it
You can't Cure it
I can't say to abandon him or support him. But I know you need to help yourself. Read through the posts here and keep in touch.

Cisco7

Thank you everyone. I feel better and thank you for your support of me. I am going to a meeting this weekend. I have printed out the three c's and have put it on my mirror. Thank you for your kindness