involved

Hello- I have lurked on here for some time and I have to say that you all have been a great help! I dated this Alcoholic man 17 years ago it obviously didnt work out... For many reasons! We remaind in contact over the years and I went thru a 10 year relationship with another alcoholic....that also didnt work out! I learned a lot about myself and what codependent ment and was single for 4 years. After a stint of being happy alone I got lonely and wanted to share my life with someone. First alcoholic convinced me that he was ready to get sober. I have seen him try with little success over the years but he said he needed someone to support him...So he decides to move 3/4 across the country to be with family and we make the drive together. I begin to see the reason I used to love him all those years ago. He didnt drink and was mostly respectful if boundries for that whole week! No hanky panky or huggie or kissie in the shared hotel rooms at night although there was the tension both of us lonely and all so I imagine he must be a better man after all these years! I return back home after being in a pickup with him for a week missing him and he calling telling me he lives me and is coming for a visit...so we are now off to the races..he is batteling his alcoholism and is working the 12 steps with a sponser...did (a half assed in my opinion)step 4 and will be doing step5 tomorrow. He is 60+days sober and is still lyeing manipulating being physically, mentally and sexually abusive...we just has a 3 week visit. When I said no he had huge tantrums and then punishment! Not the punching kind of physical but being too rough. Enough is enough and knowing that this doesnt get better I just funished putting all the phone and facebook blocks and erased all the old texts and phone messages. After a year with all the crying and the I love yous and the texts I found to other women and the poor poor pitiful me's good luck but I can only save me! Thanks for letting me vent...

involved

Half a***d step 4

SparkleKitty

Welcome! Very glad you decided to post, though sad for the reason you found us in the first place.

You should be very proud of your decision to block him and get out of that situation! You can be inspiration to others who are struggling with similar issues. I hope to see you around more!

marie1960

welcome,

glad you are here with us.

we understand, and are here to support you.

rant all you want, it really does help to get it all out.

honeypig

Involved, good for you for standing up for yourself. It doesn't matter how long it took you to get there, you are there now, and you're ready to make your life what YOU want it to be.

As others have said, thanks for sharing your experience here so those of us still struggling see that it CAN be done.

Wishing you strength, hope and clarity.

involved

Thanks! It is a sad day yes. The hopes and dreams mixed with tolerance and patience and understanding the disease is a sour soup! I still have hope that maybe one day he will truely accept that he is powerless and will recover because it kills me to see what the addictions and obsessons do to a person but i know I have to let go and take care of myself let him take care of himself... Thanks for your words of stregnth!