cherrycolalola

Ok, so i'm new to this. I hope I don't type a story but I need advice or something if yourself any loved ones has been through this....I met my boyfriend when I was 21 and he was 19, I am now 26 and he is going to be 24 next week. We've been on and off throughout the years but we ended up having a beautiful daughter named Stella (who is now 2)..a few months ago, I noticed how my bf was staying up for nights, not wanting to have sex, or even sleep in the bed with me because he was up all night. Turns out he was freebasing coke (smoking coke). I couldn't believe it. Sure, we smoke dro and take prescription pills that we get from our Drs. Anyway..I told him that I couldn't put up with that kind of behavior..my whole family fell apart from cocaine and I find the drug truly evil. He stopped for a while. So I thought.

Here more recently, I discovered he was actually shooting up cocaine. I was/am terrified. Its ruining our whole relationship. I work as a bartender and waitress, I make decent money but he's constantly accusing me of cheating, which Ive never ever cheated on him, let alone give a guy my phone number. Our daughter is now living with his parents temporarily because I don't want her witnessing the things I had to growing up (which is probably why I've gotten panic attacks since a teen)..ANYWAY..he's so paranoid. He thinks people are trying to break into our apartment and he thinks i'm setting him up. He wouldn't let me sleep because he'd be awake for days at a time, His mood swings are out of control. I had to miss some work last week because of his drug problems. I had to take to a therapist because I had nobody to talk to. He was refusing rehab. He's doing shots all night...like 10-12 a night with some pretty pure cocaine. His arms and legs look so awful, it makes me wanna cry. I don't know how to help him. Him constantly accusing me made start pulling hair out of my head, and blacking out. It scared the **** out of me because I've never done that. After speaking with a therapist, I haven't pulled my hair since...

He was supposedly clean since last Thursday. I knew he was lying because he had been up 2 days. He said it was Adderall. Um..subbing another drug for another? Not cool. Well Monday i'm getting ready to go to work and he had been up and he said I had snuck someone in to our loft! I couldn't believe it. I felt so frustrated and sad he would think such a thing..he ended up throwing my laptop and pulling my hair and busted my mouth open. He suddenly grabbed a syringue (however you spell it) and left. I grabbed what I could and left walking. He had stolen $300 from me and my Galaxy S 3 phone. I was beyond pissed. I walked, planning on getting to work when a nice lady seen me walking and picked me up. She was concerned, I told her a little bit of my situation. Ever since then I've been staying with a co-worker until I save up more cash and figure out what i'm going to do. i'm really confused. I miss our daughter.
But today while I was work, he texted a friend who I work with last night saying he thinks he went into seizure mode. Well to confirm it..he did. He called my job telling me he took a lot of Adderall and shot up more cocaine. I didn't know want him knowing where I was but it was late when he was texting but the ambulance took him to the hospital..they pumped his stomach, did something to slow his heart down and gave him a shot of Demerol. they wanted to send him to a mental ward but his friend convinced the doctors he is a junkie and they knew. They said he needs to check into a rehab asap or he will die.
He was crying, begging me back already while I was work. I cried because I felt bad. He was saying he wanted to go to rehab but he wants me to come back home first. When I told him I bought a new phone after that..his attitude completely changed. He turned back into an *******. I tried texting to let him know where I was and I was ok but he never responded. I don't know what to do. I really don't. We have a lease together that isn't up til August. Should I talk to our landlord and tell her the situation?
Also..i don't think his parents know what all he's doing unless he has told them. I'm scared to tell them because his parents don't like me and i'm scared they will just blame me and it will cause more drama.
Please I really don't know what to do. I don't even have all of my belongings in my possession. I hope someone will give me some advice but I don't have any family and its just really really scary for me right now.
sorry for the long story

GracieLou

Welcome to SR. There is a lot of information and support here.

There is a section for friends and family that I think you might find helpful.

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Midlifecrisis

I'm so sorry for your situation. He definitely needs help and you need to be safe, as does your daughter. It's a pity you don't get on Witt his parents otherwise you could go there too? I wouldn't go back until he goes to rehab unless you need to get your stuff and then I would get someone trusted to go with you and preferably when he isn't there.

Are the prescription pills you are taking causing a problem for you?

I really hope he makes it to rehab and recovery for his sake, yours and your daughters. Hugs.

cherrycolalola

Thank you, I will be def. be checking out the other forms to see what else I can read up on. I do need to get my stuff. I filed a police report after he attacked me because he just needs help and I don't know what else to do. My name is also on the lease so I can go and get my things, I have a few friends willing to take me to get it. I can even get a police escort if needed. I do take prescription pills. I've been on anti anxiety meds as far back as can remember...18 maybe? At the moment, I take Xanax 1mg twice a day. Hydrocodeine 7.5 four times a day. ( I have severe chronic back pain because I have Scolosis and it really hurts a lot. I also do yoga to help with the back pain but it just isn't enough. I am scared my body is getting physically addicted to these pain meds because when don't take them I get sick. I only have a few left and I was at the doctor just a few weeks ago ( I go every month) but my BF stole them and sold them so I don't know what to do about that. I don't want to get sick. I'm just so confused and feeling all of these emotions at once. I can't sleep. Luckily i'm off tomorrow. my only day off for the week so maybe I can get some sleep and figure some things out. I don't know....

Midlifecrisis

Awful situation, you keep yourself safe.

Yeah, you would for sure be addicted to those meds. Be careful with the Xanax, it's hard and dangerous to come off cold turkey. So is any opiate such as hydrocodone.

I really hope he goes to rehab and you can get life sorted for you and your daughter.

FeelingGreat

Hi Cherry, first things first, is it possible to get him out of your appartment? this might involve talking to a lawyer or a local domestic violence service. Your name is on the lease and it sure sounds like he won't be paying rent in his state. If you can afford it get the landlord to change the locks. Your first priority is to protect yourself against him, because he is not in touch with reality. You can apply to the courts for protection, which will make it illegal for him to contact you.
I'm sorry about your daughter; is she best where she is for a while? Even though you don't get on well with your in-laws, you may not have a choice about telling them about BF. They will know anyway, once they see him.
The other people on this forum will explain about how he has to want treatment; that you can't control his addiction for him.
All the best to you. Make your plans, look after yourself and your daughter first, and don't let anyone tell you it was your fault.

MIRecovery

ALANON is a great resource because you will be surrounded with people who understand and can guide you through the process.

As others have said you will not fix him he has to fix itself.

SSIL75

Welcome! I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You will get great advice here.

Be very careful with your daughter. She HAS to come first. What would the courts do if your IL's went after custody knowing that you had willingly placed her there for how long? I know you mean well but you have GOT to disentangle yourself from this mess and focus on her.

Best of luck.

Mizzuno

This sounds like a nightmare situation, and I am sorry that you have found yourself in this spot. If you think about it clearly, your daughters safety is the priority. I am happy that she is being cared for by someone who is responsible. The second thing that should come to mind is the care and safety of yourself. If i were you, I would get my belongings, talk with the landlord, and get out of this situation asap. When we become parents life is not about us any longer. It is about the care of the child, and making sure that our children are provided for, loved, respected. It is imperative to have a parent that is present and teaching us. Your boyfriend will have to go about all of this on his own. He will need to admit himself into a rehab. I would not let him manipulate you into going back. Why? There is nothing in going back. Stay strong, and get your daughter back with you. I would cut the ties on this relationship until he went into a rehab and showed that he was clean and sober, working a program.

GracieLou

If you have insurance then you can file a police report that they were stolen and then send that police report to your insurance. They can do an override so you can get the missing pills filled again. How many you get depends on when your next fill is due.

I know this. We do this all the time. This is usually handled by a supervisor. A fax of the police report is usually what we need.

If you don't have insurance then contact the pharmacy after you get the police report and ask them what to do.

Midlifecrisis

How are things going now? Any progress?