jagger2012

Been reading the threads for a while now and after this last weekend figured it's time I get involved...

I'm 38 years old and have been binge drinking since I was 16, with the blackouts that usually accompany this behavior. In 2008 I got sober and stayed that way for 3 years, in 2011 I started to believe I could moderate and ofcourse I was proven wrong quickly! So for the last 2 years I have been in a revolving door of having a week of moderately drinking followed rapidly by a 2 day binge and blackouts, get scared and stay sober for 3-6 months and then repeat...I'm done!!

Last weekend I went to my neighbors house a few houses down as I always seem them partying and wanted to introduce myself, well I proceed to get bombed and blackout and wake up in my bed with minimal recollections of the previous nights events and I don't even know these people...Ashamed hardly begins to describe how I have felt. I feel like I should ring their doorbell and apologize but don't know if that's prudent as I'm not sure what i did/said?? What to do...Thanks

Dee74

Hi Jagger

Welcome

for what it's worth, I did almost exactly the same thing.
I went back and apologised a few days later but we never spoke again.

I think the really important thing is to ensure things like that never happen again - these days I think that's probably a better neighbourhood amends than an apology, if I'm honest.

D

Splash29

Hello! I have done that too. At a party when I don't many people and I over drink then wake up not knowing what happen. At least you woke up safe in your own bed. And made the right choice to start posting here.

Hevyn

Welcome Jagger! I remember those days. That's why I had to stop all together - I could never trust myself. I didn't just do stupid things, but dangerous things that I barely remembered. Here's where it can end. Glad you are here!

jagger2012

Thank you all for the welcome and support...I'm so glad I decided to post. This is a great outlet

wiscsober

Jagger SR is a great place for recovery

SnwFlower

Welcome to SR Jagger. Glad you are here.

IWillWin

Welcome Jagger. As you can see, tons of support and experience here for the taking! Glad you made it to your own bed, and believe me, I'm very familiar with your feelings of embarrassment about what might have happened. It is horrible not to know what you said or did and I've been there. It's over, so don't dwell on it, focus on how you will stop it from happening again. I'm sure you aren't the first drunken neighbor they have encountered and my guess is you won't be the last

So glad to have you join us...grab an oar and welcome to the lifeboat!

helenwulfgar

Welcome! I just joined this weekend and found this place amazingly helpful.
I've actually never tried sobriety until this weekend. This is the longest I've ever been sober in 10 years (6 days!). Boy, I can sure remember embarrassing myself to total strangers...never getting invited back, and actually having the audacity of getting pissed off at the stranger. Hope things work out for you, and again- welcome!

jagger2012

I have lived to much of my life regretting things said/done and worse even than that is the anxiety of the "not knowing" that accompanies blackout drinkers...I'm thankful today to have a wonderful family, great job and an otherwise beautiful life...AS LONG AS I STAY SOBER!!! I'm determined to get back to how I felt when I had 3 years under my belt...

Thanks SR

GracieLou

I have had this as well but then I started drinking at home alone. That did not solve the blackouts though.

I would watch TV shows I had recorded and would not remember I had even watched it. I figured I could solve this by not erasing after watching them so I could watch them again. In most cases I did not remember the second or third time.

I am interested in what you did to stay sober for three years.

jagger2012

It was a mix of spiritual intervention and desperation...having someone/something to be accountable to has always helped me. I learned how to live life truly one day at a time, but I began to feel to strong and conned myself into believing I was "cured"! Looking back on it now those years seem worlds away! One at a time be it day, hour or even minute! Thankd

Bruce292

I know that feeling. It's one of the most horrible feelings in one can have. The only way I could prevent it from happening is to stop drinking.

I'm glad you're here. Keep posting!

visch1

My snap answer is not to pick up another drink containing alcohol which might cause another or worse situation. I had to learn by bad experiences which as of now haven't been repeated for a long time since I don't drink anymore. BE WELL

jagger2012

Its so great to have found a place where people can relate to my struggle/fright...even most of my closest loved ones say I should cut myself some slack...I guess its hard to understand an alcoholic blackout unless u have experienced one first hand

FeelingGreat

I was always fairly controlled but I had some horrible moments I look back with shame on. I enjoy the feeling of comfort with myself and my behaviour now. I think that's been the biggest benefit of the last 14 months for me.