Icandothis2013

Hi,
After my mammoth (by my standards) 17 days sober earlier this month when I was away on a work trip, I have failed miserably since coming home. Back to my two bottles of wine a night routine which leaves me wrecked the next day and unable to properly parent my son. Needless to say he is fed up of me acting "weird" and I absolutely have to find a way to stop ....I have severe gastritis but even that is not putting me off. I come on SR several times a day and look at the great advice but just don't seem to be able to put it into practice ..
I have NO reason to be like this - I just don't get it . I have a great life, a great kid, enough $$, interesting job .. WTF is wrong with me???. I am now jeopardising my health but even that is not enough to make me quit..

visch1

Hi. I can identify too much with your feelings so it's a good remember when for me. I was told that I wanted to drink more than I wanted to get sober and maybe I'd live long enough to get the alcoholic brain thinking that I'm sick of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Fortunately many AA meetings and the help of people attending got my attention and a long period of sobriety resulted. It's simple not always easy but sure worth the work involved for the benefits and rewards. BE WELL

doggonecarl

You have so much to be thankful for. Don't let losing it all be the spur to get your recovery in gear. Cause you can lose it all, and quickly.

Sounds like you need a kick in the pants and I don't know how to give you one on an online forum. I know that I went a long time between recognizing I had a problem and doing something about it. Years. Years I can't get back. So get started.

• Accept you are an alcoholic. I don't mean just say it. Accept it.
• Accept you can't be a normal drinker. Ever
• Accept you can never drink again. Ever
• Be willing to do everything in your power to get sober and stay sober. By everything, I mean reconsider those things you might have been rejecting. AA comes to mind, but it could be counseling, rehab, whatever. This is your list not mine.
• Then, implement and work a solid recovery plan, because whatever you are doing now, it isn't working.

Good luck.

ScottFromWI

If you go to AA, you have to admit that you are powerless over alcohol. If you use AVRT, you have to admit and learn that you have an Alcoholic voice to deal with. If you got to rehab, you have to admit that you are an alcoholic to a medical professional to be admitted.

See the common theme in the scenarios above? The phrase YOU HAVE TO is repeated in each one. Which means that no matter what solution or program you choose, none of them will work unless YOU LET THEM. You have the choice to drink or not, and each time you relapse it's just you letting it happen. And I don't mean this to just you personally, it applies to each and every one of us.

So the bottom line is, you can quit - contrary to your subject line. You just need to admit/commit that it's finally time and take action. And as you probably know, the only thing that is guaranteed is that the consequences of continuing to drink will get worse. That's a 100% guarantee - but also 100% preventable if you choose to not face those consequences.

Torso

I sympathise with you, I have just relapsed and I hate what I've done. Altho I don't have any dependants it still feels pretty rubbish to be back in this state.

OneLessLonely

Think about things you can add to what you're doing now. Have you looked into all recovery methods and gone to all related meetings to see if one may work best for you? Have you talked to your doctor? Have you considered going to a therapist? Have you told anyone close to you? This is a life or death situation so it's important to be willing to do anything that may possibly be the ticket to sobriety for you and your child.

soberclover

Yup...been there. It's hard to admit that you are an alcoholic. It was hard for me. It is clearly hard for you too. My son didn't ask to come in to this world. I made a choice to bring him in to this world. Because of that I have an obligation to be his parent. The best parent that I can be. An alchoholic parent is one of the worst parents. My son deserved better. I deserved better. Some people need treatment. Others don't. Some people need AA and/or counseling. Others don't. I hope that you figure out what you need. It is possible to stop drinking. You just have to really really want it and be willing to do whatever you need to do to not pick up that drink.

ams0602

I understand you. And I was in the same boat as Doggonecarl in that there were years between knowing I had a problem and actually doing something about it. I tried to quit tons of times and failed (hopefully I won't fail this time around)... For me, I couldn't make any progress towards sobriety until I was really sick of drinking. I was (and still am) suffering from stomach issues that I strongly believe to be a result of my alcohol abuse. But nothing seemed to improve until I was just exhausted with the guilt and feeling physically ill and feeling like a failure. I know that some people never reach that breaking point but I hope you do. Just keep all the negatives of drinking in the forefront of your mind! Best wishes and good luck!!!! Keep coming to SR. It's a really great place :-)

Bruce292

I was in the same situation. Everything in life was going great but I just kept drinking and using drugs. I was a mess and on the verge of throwing it all away. There really isn't any single explanation as to why I got into that situation. It's a slow and progressive downhill spiral. I can't control my drinking. I've tried and tried and I always end up getting drunk. The only thing left for me to do was stop. What's wrong with you? You're human. Us humans sometimes find that alcohol is a bad chemical to have in our bodies.

Keep at it. Don't give up! I won't either. Keep posting.

veryready

We sound similar. I have a good job, house, kids, cars. I could go sober stretches. I was 'functioning' or so I thought. Who knows how close I came to letting it all slip away, but I feel like I had used up all my close calls. What was wrong with me was that I had not gotten to the point of accepting that I COULD NOT HAVE ONE AND ONLY ONE DRINK. Finally one day I woke up and just accepted it. Like a ton of bricks. Just realized that I had finally given it my last shot. Can't have one. Don't want one. I had stretches like you (17 days) but I knew there would be a reward and a good buzz at the end of each and every sober stretch. What's wrong with you (nothing really) is you just haven't thrown in the towel yet, and given up the quest to be a moderate drinker. Moderate drinking isn't any fun anyways, that's why none of us here ever did it. Accept this fact and then one day at a time... Its worth it.

2granddaughters

I couldn't quit drinking and stay quit until I joined AA.

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

I think the common thread here is...it's time to do something - something beyond just thinking about it, or talking about it...

it's time to be actually doing something.

whether that's seeing your Dr, a counsellor, going to inpatient or outpatient rehab, checking out AA or other groups, or just sitting on SR and not drinking even if your butt falls off...

whatever it is...it's time to act - or accept things will just get worse & worse, Icandothis.

Noone wants that. you - and your little boy - deserve better.

D