sassu78

Anybody else seeing their friends in a new light?

I have two really close friends I used to drink with all the time...
We were supporting each other like crazy and always going to a bar to talk and keep each other company if something went down...and there always was a reason (excuse) to drink...

Well I told them that I stopped drinking so they decided to have dinner with me since I quit going to the bars...
They had some drinks before meeting me so they were feeling "good".
It surprised me to see how different they looked to me...
I actually felt bad for them and was embarrased to be around both...they were in that tipsy mode where you start feeling confident and raising your voice...All I wanted to do was to order them some water or leave them there and go home..
I started thinking how few weeks ago I was just like them...

I don't want to judge them or talk bad about them but it's clear to me that I never want to go back to that...Can anyone here relate?

SNST

I feel the same about my "friends"!! Your not alone

bexxed

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!

I went out with some friends who, same thing, had drank before I picked them up. They were not in the same zone as I was. I found myself getting bored- then trying to be humble and nonjudgmental, snapping back... honestly, I felt a little like I was babysitting. Which, as the DD, I kind of was.

I haven't hung out yet with my really really good friend/hard core drinking buddy. She and I recently don't live in the same city anymore, and it was with her that I actually had that last drink(s) last Wednesday night. We talked on the phone though and even though she wasn't drinking, there's something different. If our friendship can't make it through this transition, though, then it wasn't ever healthy.

sassu78

Yeah...And it's like all they talked about are the drinking stories and since I'm not with them, I have no clue who the people in these stories are...And they didn't care about that...It was like they were proud to let me know what they have been up to, how many drinks they had and how the cops just missed them and they didn't get DUIs...It was so strange...So I agree with you...it was boring...I would've rather been on my bed watching Chef Ramsay

I know that when time passes they will be out of my life since we really have nothing in common anymore...All they do is sit in bars and clearly I won't be there...I'm really not even sad about that, I'm just surprise to see how I was and how I never want to be there again...

TNGal

I got "drunk dialed" by an old boyfriend last week. For years I've thought he was THE ONE and I've lived for the times when he would call me up. By the end of the conversation I could barely understand what he was saying he was slurring so badly. Plus, when I tried to hang up the phone because I had a morning appointment, he wouldn't hang up. When we finally did, he kept calling back over and over and over. Sure made me think about my perception of him in a totally different light...

bexxed

LOL!

Yeah, my friends were sexting the whole time (well, until their phones died) with some drunk guys they had just met before I picked them up, making plans for after we hung out. And they were going on and on about how many drinks they had vs how many they had to pay for.

I am SO glad I'm not "there". But, it's profound that I'm not there. If that makes sense.

Mizzuno

Well, I am most likely the friend that was really loud and annoying. In fact, I know I was. One of my friends told me that they were happy that I quit drinking because I am obnoxious and etc when I drink....I moved away from all my friends last year.. So, I do not have any friends that i hang out with here. I do get where you are coming from. I understand that you are not trying to judge. We can see ourselves in people at times.

sassu78

Oh I DEFINITELY was the annoying friend!! I was making everybody drink. If somebody showed up sober, they were so "boring". I was buying shots all the time and didn't take a no from anybody, I almost forced them to drink...Now I have become the person I hated...This whole sobriety thing is really making my head spin...I enjoy every second of it though...I realize more and more stuff all the time about why I was drinking then and how everything is so much more better now!!!

crisco

I can totally relate to your issue. In my case, I had a friend that recently got very drunk at a party where everybody is engaged in moderate to buzzed drinking (not drinking to get drunk, but to get buzzed). It seemed to me that the individual become very disruptive and boorish with you talked to.

It seems that getting really drunk gets on my nerves as a sober person in AA. If a person is buzzed, but capable of having a sober conversation, it usually doesn't bother me. However, when people get really drunk, I usually tend to want to go away from the event because the event is no longer fun.

Personally, I have no desire to drink when I around alcohol. Prior attending an event where alcohol is being served, it is best to attend a meeting prior to dealing with issue.

ElegantlyWasted

Oh yeah... A lot of silly rowdy talk hanging out together to rationalize the beast's existence. I think I'm going to go hiking more and read a new book.