Midlifecrisis

I couldn't handle it. My eating disorder threatening to strike again. I'm scared stiff of it. Over 10 blasted chips.

I'm so disappointed. I'm drunk. Sculled some
beer which I can't even stand and then I was sick. So the eating disorder and the addiction got
Their way

I want recovery so much....fark. I was just statryngtofell
Ok today.

Ill leave here for awhile and come
Back maybe. I don't even enjoy drinking. It was alway last on my list. I just could not handle how I felt. And I really appreciate everyone's help.
I Hyde bng an addict.

ImperfectlyMe

Don't leave here for a while stay and let this amazing g group support you!!! You have come so far and you can get to where you want to be!

ReadyAtLast

don't leave MLC.Stick around,tip the rest of the beer away and start again.You CAN do this. Those days sober/clean are not lost-you can build on them and do it again and more. I lapsed several times before getting sober this time. I never thought I'd do it but I did and so can you

venuscat

Please don't give up...we're all still here for you!!!

Love Venus xx

Midlifecrisis

My husband said he'd leave if I did it again. What an idiot I am.

ImperfectlyMe

You're not an idiot you are still collecting the tools you need. Get back up and continue to fight this!!

While threats of leaving aren't always the best incentive to make someone quit, sometimes they can open our eyes to the consequences we stand to face if we don't surrender!

All here for you!

venuscat

I've been an idiot so many times Midlife!!!!! Cumon girl, you can do this. One more time. For you. For your husband. And because you're worth it...

V xx

Dee74

It can be really overwhelming sometimes.
Don;t make this into something bigger tho - you skulled a beer.

It was a dumb thing to do, but in the grand scheme of things both you and I have probably done dumber MLC.

Fear can be paralysing - then we overthink things massively and we panic.

It's way better to stop, breathe and look for help.

You can stop things now and get back on the right path.

Here are some Aussie resources for bulimia.
Look at them and look through the help sections MLC.

You've done so much already - you can do this too

The Butterfly Foundation | Support for Australians experiencing eating disorders
What is Bulimia Nervosa? | ReachOut.com Australia

D

Midlifecrisis

Thanks everyone. Fell asleep after a few drinks and am now feeling terrible but wide awake at nearly midnight(. I'm not even supposed to drink beer as I have a problem with yeast and now I'm really sick. Grrrrreeeeat. So not worth it.

Yeah I've done worse thjngs Dee,lol, much worse. I'm just disappointed in myself. I got to 14 days, now it will be back to one tomorrow. I've just set myself back with the drug cravings too. Big time.

The beer was a gift to my husband and when I got home from detox he asked whether he should get rid of it and I said no its ok. At the time I was so sick I couldn't even imagine drinking and I don't even like beer, it's disgusting!!!!!! I was just desperate to get out of the way I was feeling.

ScottFromWI

Do you think that will be enough motivation? Tough love here MLC but literally do you blame him for making that statement?

We are here all the time at SR for you of course. Sorry for not knowing but what are you using for support since you got home from your treatment? As you know, the detox was just the beginning - and you made it through with no problems at all. Sure you had withdrawals but so does everyone who goes through it.

It seems to me you need something more locally to help. I understand you are far away from AA type meetings, but what can you find locally? You said you were very involved with your church..is there anyting they have to offer?

1stthingsfirst

MLC,

Please stay here. We are all rooting for you! If you did 14 days, you can do 15 - or 50 - or 5,000. I feel for you- if my husband threatened to leave me it would be devastating to my life and my recovery.

Does your husband have support? I certainly understand his frustration and anger. It is not easy - we can be a conniving and selfish bunch.

raku

I struggled like a fish on dry land, refusing the help of a helping hand.



Sting, Fields of Gold

Anna

Learn from this MLC and move on.

Next time it happens, be prepared with a healthy way to deal with your feelings.

Mizzuno

MLC, I know that you are struggling, and have been since you got out of Detox. The detox was not going to help you with the underlying issues that need to be addressed. Dee has given you a link to the eating disorder group in Australia. I do hope that you go into that website and call the first number that is there. I also hope that you take a few steps further into your recovery by scheduling time with a psychologist, and attending any groups that are available to you through the internet. Your Pastor is also a resource, and you said that he is in recovery. Your children need their mother, and they need to see that you are healthy. Your husband deserves to see you healthy, and working towards a better you. All of you deserve a life that is comfortable without use, and without all of the drama that is associated with it. He has said that if you relapse he would leave? He may be getting worn out, and needing a respite from all of this. If the thought of him leaving gives you momentum to really help yourself, then keep that thought in your mind, and please get some much needed help with these problems. Your children are to young to know of such issues. Hopefully you will grab all of the help that you can, and walk into the future.

MemphisBlues

I lived in Southeast Asia for nearly three years and found that online meetings, NA or AA, were among the best meetings I have ever been a part of. My sponsor, a woman, lives there still and successfully sponsors many folks.

Try this out:

Narcotics Anonymous, Central Coast.

Yes, this is an insidious disease. I quit alcohol and benzos and two weeks later ended up in the hospital, as I have shared before. What did I do the day I got out? Bought a pint of rum and drank it.

It didn't work anymore. I haven't touched a drop since that day. It left me as you now feel -- sick, empty, no longer holding that relief I sought.

I think you might me at the same point.

Google AA skype meetings and you will find just as many at nearly any hour of the day as you will find NA meetings.

joygirl

Midlife,
Please don't give up. Come back. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. We are all struggling here with you. You can do it.

Midlifecrisis

Thank you everyone. Feeling worse for wear. At the counsellor now. Thanks for all your support and thanks for this who posted links.

I can't keep doing this. I need to find a new way.

No I don't blame my husband for saying that at all! Not at all, I understand completely. It is incentive, absolutely, I love him. Mad at myself.

Thanks agajn.

ImperfectlyMe

Hang in there hope the councilor helps

Hevyn

Never give up trying for a better life for yourself MLC. You can still get there, we know you can.

SnwFlower

MLC: Take a deep breath and forgive yourself. Today is a new day and you can get right back onto your recovery path, ...and you are all the wiser than you were yesterday. Very glad that you are getting support from a counselor. We are here for you and have tremendous faith in you. Big hug.