newsunflower

I have known a great guy for 4 years. I love him very much He says he loves me but we can never have a sexual relationship because that it would ruin everything. He was sexually abused as a child. We know each other inside and out. We lived together for over a year. No sex but we got along great. He relapsed about 3 months ago. He doing great now we still spend time together whenever we can. How do I let him know I love him and want to spend my life with him. Theres more to a relationship than just sex.

Dee74

Hi Newsunflower

sorry... it's not clear to me - are you guys still together?

D

newsunflower

We known each other for 4 years shared a house for over a year until he relasped. He is now in sober living house. We still spend time together as much as possible. Before he relasped we discuss taking our relationship further and thats when he said he had found having a sexual relationship always ruin things and he didnt want to ruin what we have. I have done a lot of research on some of the the things he is dealing with and I kinda understand where he is coming from. certain can bring back up thing that have happend in your past and cause you to feel differently about them than how most people feel, I love him just not sure how to let him know I am willing to work at it

Dee74

If you're both ok with how things are now why not just leave it at that for now sunflower?

Being in a sober house is probably enough for your guy to deal with right now. Recovery (and coming back from a relapse) is a pretty big undertaking.

D

Gottalife

I'm with Dee on this. Patience, give him time. If it's meant to be, it will be. If you try and push it you may do more harm than good. If you have a faith, trust your God, it will work out.

newsunflower

Thank you I just want him to know I am there no matter what. I dont want to push him in away. i love him for who he is. I believe God brought us together in the first place.

raku

Sunflower,

why not simply tell him that ?
that you love him for whom he is ?
and let him figure out what he needs to do ?

You have your own life to live....yes ?

raku