lippyfox

Hi, I have arrived here, having spent the last 6 months or so reading everything about alcoholism. My sister is an alcoholic, absolutely in denial, and approaching the very last stages of losing her 5 year old daughter to social services. She is a different person, nobody can get through to her, she is so closed and so nasty to our mum, her twin sister, and me. She has damaged her daugher, I made the call to social services, foolishsly thinking they would help her, but it has very quickly gone to prelim court proceedings to permanently remove her daughter. We are all distraught, and I haven't dealt with social services before, but I would like some reassurance that my neice will be put with me or my other sister first. I cannot bear or live with the thought of her going into care. I think my sister has lost her mind, is this possible? She hallucinates when she is drunk, she talks to her daughter when she is not there. She tells our mum to die, she swears and is absolutely hateful, like a monster. I just don't think she will ever come back, she will not face what she has done or is doing. Any advice, especially on how the UK social services deal with removing a child and placing her with family members that love her - I just need some reassurance, our family life will never be the same after all this, I have reluctantly realised this, none of us can stop crying about it. There are mountains of other issues also, she shares a home and mortgage with our pensioner mother, they are in serious financial trouble, and I think they will lose their house. Me and my other sister each have two year old sons, we are all crumbling under this pressure, and I realise all of this is nothing compared to my beautiful little neice, whose life and heart is being broken by her mothers alcoholic behaviour. Very stressed, this is a hatetful situation that we cannot take any control of because it is down to her. It feels like my sister is dead, but I am perpetually worrying about her dying, about my niece, about my mum, about my other sister ( who is an identical twin to the alcoholic).

honeypig

Welcome, lippyfox, and glad you found SR, altho it's too bad that you are in a situation where you need this kind of help. There are many here who can offer you their experience, strength and hope. It's a great site.

You may want to check out this portion of the forum Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information for more information and to get more responses to your postings. Don't miss the stickies at the top of the thread; they will help you understand how best to help yourself and the drinker in your life.

Again, so sorry to hear that you're going thru all this chaos in your life, but you are not alone. Please read as much as you can here, post about your problems, and consider going to an Alanon meeting as soon as you can.

Dee74

welcome to SR lippyfox
I'm afraid I have no experience with UK social services but maybe other members will.

D

least

Take a look at that forum in that link. Post your concerns there for more insight. I'm from the US so don't know about your social services there but maybe could you contact them to ask about your niece's placement. I hope you can find some peace in your life.