lydthekid

I am in love with an alcoholic and i dont know how to help myself. my husband and i have a one year old son. we are a young couple and my husband has struggled with substance abuse since i have known him. at 16 he went to rehab and like the naive girl i was i thought that would be it but far from. recently he had been hanging out with a neighbor who is also an alcoholic and hits his girlfriend. so as soon as they started hanging out he started hitting me. it got to the point where i had to call the cops and he had to be tazed so the cops could arrest him. he has never hit me while he was sober, ever. after the arrest i told him htat if he ever drank or hit me again i would take our son and go to my parents 9 hours away leaving him alone with no family or friends. we have been going to counseling and he hadnt touched anything for the last month. he has been going to AA meetings regularly. this friday he came home from supposedly going to a meeting and he was drunk. we got into a huge fight because he flips anytime i ever catch him and he pushed me around but did not hit me. i work 16 hours a day on saturday and sunday so i could not leave yet and i told him that i had not made a decision. the net day he told me how sorry he was and that he will do anything not to lose e. how it was an honest mistake and how he wont do it again. of course i have heard it all before but i could not emotionally deal with leaving when i have to work so many hours so we agreed that we would really sit down and talk about it and work on the excercises the counselor gave us. i worked 16 hours today and came home in a foul mood. i just wanted to get the 6 hours of sleep i could before having to go back to work. i woke up at 4 am to my son screaming. we have an agreement that the nights i work he gets up with my son and i take him during the week. so i put my son back to sleep and went to find my husband. i catch him off guard at the alcoholic neighbors house that he swore he would never go to again and he quickly hides a beer behind his back. when he comes home he immediately starts fighting with me and i tell him that it is over because what else am i supposed to do. he looks me dead in the eye and smacks me across the face. i am trapped. anyway so my question i guess is what do i do? my parents live so far away and he is threatening to not let me take my son. i have no money because i missed an entire paycheck when he went to jail with no one to watch the baby. i have a friend about an hour away im thinking about going to stay with but she is not the best environment for my son. i had to call out of work again for the fifth time in only a couple of months and im worried i will get fired. he told me when he was sober and apologizing the other day that he would leave because he was the one who messed up and if thats what he had to do to make or relationship work thats what he would do. but of course now he refuses to leave and he packed my bags for me. i cant let go and i dont know why. i love him with all my heart but he is killing me and i dont know if our relationship can ever be fixed but im a glutton for punishment i guess. i just want him to get better because it breaks my heart that he drinks to cover his own pain and i cant do anything to help him. i never thought a man who i know loves me so much could hurt me so bad. im worried if i leave that instead of hitting his bottom he will just nose dive and never be able to get better. i know what the "right" answer is but i just cant bear to do it. leaving would put me into a horrible depression and i dont wnat to put my son through not having a father. he is a wonderful father and we are all he has. help what do i do

NewHouse2012

I'm sorry hon. But leave when you can. Just leave. This situation is beyond repair in my eyes. Go to your parents and start over, don't look back. Make sure he's not around to stop you or hurt you.
I'm so sorry

Star72

I am so sorry to hear of all your pain. Deep in your heart, you know you have to leave, for you and your baby. It will not stop and only get worse. I speak from plenty of experience, being around alot of violence and watching my mom and sister go through exactly what you are. You are afraid of change, but do not let that keep you there. You deserve to be treated with love, respect, and compassion. The environment will end up damaging your baby also, if you stay. Please gather your strength, pray and leave.

flutter

I hope that you can leave. Not only to protect yourself, but most importantly your little boy who has no voice in the matter.

I'm scared for you, and for your son.

You might find a TON of help and resources by contacting the Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

Here's a great section of this site to post your questions and story on, there's lots of people who totally understand where you're at right now: Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sugarbear1

Every state has Domestic Violence assistance programs or Abused Persons programs.

Please find yours and work with them. Domestic Violence is a serious crime.

Tennessee District Attorneys General Conference - Domestic Violence

I hope you get the help you need.