Bubovski

As a recovering addict/ alcoholic I still have an ongoing concern for my half sister, severely addicted to benzos. In her case I think it is temazepam.

To my knowledge she lives most of the time in her house as a recluse.
Fifteen years younger than me, also the product of a crazy upbrining, our mother was part of the trio till her death at 94 a couple of years ago.

My sister has claimed for decades to be unable to sleep more than one or two hours a night a fact I find hard to see as credible. This, in the main, along with our disturbed mother ( some Munchausers syndrome by proxy maybe) and a lot of other really weird stuff I am sure contributed in part to her present condition. Our mother was brilliant at psycho logic, had a martyr syndrome, persecution complex along with many other psychological problems.

I tried to help in my own debilitated drugged up state for a good part of the situation ( total head banging futility) only to face numerous accusations of 'interference', 'trouble making', 'no understanding' 'cruelty' etc. I was a mess myself but nowhere near the degree of those two.................

Of recent years, for self protection, I had to sever links with my sister, almost completely. For years she has left 'titad notes', too ill to answer the door, rarely answers the phone, allegedly suffers, or may be getting almost every disease imaginable. She was fed benzos for years door to door by an old doctor who was later de registered. When this happened I was blamed for his de registration, which was not the case at all, though I would have tried, had I thought of it....................this sort of gives you a rough Idea.

I am back at A.A. myself and contemplating N.A. again.
Called on my sister last week, after many months to confront another T.I.T.A.D note. All seems pretty much the same!!!

I am wondering if there is any point dropping her off some N.A. literature, or just give up on her. The situation has caused me considerable marital problems but I still feel sorry for her as I shared her upbringing.

Any considerations will be appreciated.

Ann

That sounds like a very sad situation to be in. Sadly, if she doesn't want help there is not much you could do.

Is she mentally competent and able to live by herself? I don't know the laws where you are but here in Canada if a person is in danger or endangers others, that can be grounds to have them hospitalized...I'm not sure for how long though.

You have probably done everything you can to try to help her, most of us here have tried to save our loved ones as well. But we found that we had to let go or be dragged down with them, as sad as that sounds.

I will keep your sister in my prayers, and you and your family also. Please don't jeopardize your own recovery trying to fix what is probably not yours to fix.

Hugs

Bubovski

Thanks Ann.
Many years ago she set fire to our mothers flat.
She was put on a bond and had to pay off a big fine (I think?)
Lots of problems here in Australia with the mentally ill.
Sometimes its really hard to distinguish madness and degrees of manipulation.

Ann

Yes, there are problems here too. They went from perhaps too severe of methods and locking too many people up to putting them all out on the street, leaving them helpless to take care of themselves.

My prayers go out that the day will come where the mentally ill will receive good care and the help they deserve.

Hugs