rennn

Hello,
tommorrow night is my ex best friends birthday party he expects me to be there. he made a big deal for my birthday last year before our friendship slipped off the rails. I don't want to go because I don't want to be around the booze and drugs also a guy shouted me expensive alcohol, pipes of rock and weed the night before I decided to try and get sober and I got too messed up and embarrassed myself as usual and he will be there don't want to deal with it (I also made him promises about shouting him back and im completely broke and trying not to get messed up at the moment) . I am considering saying I got diarrhea and not going though I know my friend will most likely not belive me also I feel guilty about not going even though we aren't really friends anymore we were friends for 13 years and it just isn't right. anyone got any advice?

Cascabel

Don't go! Your staying clean can save your life. That is much more important in the long run than is a "friendship" of the sort you described..

visch1

I only offer the advice I was given and usually didn't like but now with 30+ years later I see what was given is a life saver. I think with what you wrote you know what's best for you. In general we alcoholics need to stay away from slippery places longer than what we think is a safe time period, the longer the better. BE WELL

rennn

thing is we still kind of pretend we are friends with one another keep up appearances and even hang out once in a while and have some laughs its not like hes completely off the radar i've known this guy since i was 8 years old i'm 22 years old now

doggonecarl

Don't go. He's an ex-friend. Emphasis on ex. Which means you are heading in one direction, sobriety, and he's heading in another. It's that direction you want to avoid.

You aren't just quitting drinking. You are quitting the lifestyle that supports it.

flutter

I wouldn't go. If you're wanting to rebuild the friendship, invite him out to a lunch or something to still acknowledge his birthday but keep away from the mess it sounds like it might be.

rennn

I don't exactly want to quit the lifestyle i just want to do it sober don't get me wrong if i could find a good job away from the town im in now i'd leave at the drop of a hat and start a new life/adventure. I just want to stop my destructive drinking. I live in a small town been here most of my life

Threshold

Life is too short to waste on faux friendships and sobriety is too precious to put at risk for the same.

Dee74

don't go.

and you might have to reconsider not quitting the lifestyle and 'just staying sober'.

My whole old lifestyle was about getting high - how can you live a life that's about getting high, while staying sober?

I tried - I couldn't.

Change is scary - but it might just save your life Renn.
D

Anna

Stay home and take care of yourself.

rennn

nope damn i have to go to the party my brother rang me and asked if im going i said no im crook then my friend rang and me whos birthday it is and said hey no i don't give a **** if your crook your coming. i couldn't hold the lie or sound crook enough. I have to go no other choice really. will talk tommorrow

Midlifecrisis

It's still up to you. I wouldn't go.

Dee74

I think we always have a choice Rennn.

Sometimes the choices aren't easy to make, and sometimes our choices will annoy our friends, but we always have a choice.

D

Zebra1275

It's your choice.

But the folks with some decent sober time in this thread are telling you not to go, me included.