Black Bird

Hi everyone. 12 days sober and going to AA.

I need a Sponser so I can get to working the steps. My problem is, I am afraid to ask someone. Everyone at the meetings gives me their numbers and tells me to CALL!! They tell me to find a Sponser. I have yet to call anyone. I think I have found someone who I click with, but I am too nervous to call her.

I am scared she will say no.
I feel like I would be bothering her.

I know it is as simple as picking up the phone and just doing it, but I am getting anxiety over it and keep putting it off.

Has anyone ever felt this way?

Joe Nerv

Yes. I felt that way, and I believe cutting through that fear has literally saved my life. What worked for me the first time I did it, was a quick prayer, turning it over to my HP, and then saying something to the effect of...

Hi, this is Joe from the so and so group at AA. You gave me your number and told me to call. I'm doing that, I'm having a really rough time doing that, and I have no idea what to say.... but I want to do the right thing. Help?

Edit: Whoops, missed the whole sponsor part . I'd do the above with a few people, see who I clicked with and ask them in person.

bbthumper

Asking someone to sponsor you is much harder to think about doing than it is just to do it. Just go for it! You'll be glad you did!

terribob

You'll find it's a lot easier once you just ask. After that, you're not going to believe how easy it was!

tomsteve

yup, sure did. i let fear control me. when i stopped letting fear control me and just did it, remarkable thigs started happening.
yu may hear no, but PLEASE , if that happens, ask for a suggestion for a sponsor.

and good on ya for wanting a sponsor!!

Black Bird

Thanks everyone. I sent her a text. I'm a chicken...

ElegantlyWasted

I think a heck of a lot of us have felt that way. Just do it! If the person you like can't/doesn't want to sponsor you it wasn't meant to be. Just know that you can switch sponsors and most people do at some point for a myriad of reasons. You've got more strength than you realize. Go for it and it will get easier. Perfectly normal to be a little trepidacious... Its also part of how we learn and grow out of our "stinkin' thinkin'" or whatever you want to call it. Good luck, you can do it and congrats on the 12 days.

bbthumper

Don't feel bad. I asked my sponsor via voicemail.

Black Bird

That makes me feel better bbthumper.

tomsteve

thatsa start!! in time, youll be able to llok back and laugh at it.

Jeni26

Yes! I was exactly the same...afraid of rejection. I finally asked someone after I had relapsed and was pretty desperate...I wouldn't recommend waiting that long!x

Black Bird

I find it strange that that I can not pick up the phone and call these people. I share a lot at the meetings. It must be a fear of rejection like you said. My head is telling me I am being silly. Well, the text is out there. I really hope she calls me! Lol I am going to have to use the phone soon, because I really am not liking this fear.

2granddaughters

Certainly.... most of us AAs have felt that way. Now pick up the phone and call her.

All the best.

Bob R

BadCompany

All of us.

Start reading the big book and as you get a few questions, call one of the numbers and ask them. Which ever one communicates best, ask that person to be your sponsor.

KissMyTiara

Not everyone that has given you a number wants to be a sponsor. They just want to be available to talk. My suggestion would be to say something after sharing to say "I've been sober 12 days now and would anyone like to sponsor me". So it is open to everyone in the room.