Legend40

all my life i have been treated like trash by kids, teachers, adults, co workers, etc etc etc. now anger and i have become best friends and its at the point in my life where i cant get rid of it. it has become such a comfort zone for me that i am afraid to let it go. it has kept me safe from bad people and gives me the courage to stand up to them as well. that has got me nowhere in life, so how can i change that? 23 years of it, where does it end?

GracieLou

I have no answers but I understand. I am going through the same thing. I am almost two months sober and all of the anger and resentments of my childhood are coming to the surface. I drank to hide from them.

I too felt my anger protected me but I also realize that is has kept me from opening my heart. I don't trust anyone.

I am sure someone will come along that has been there and give us some helpful insight.

ImperfectlyMe

Legend.... It starts by letting go of the anger you have for yourself. If anger is your comfort then contentment is a scary place. I'm not saying its easy but when you change your thinking you can become open to let others in.

You will never be able to change how others feel about you, but you can certainly change how you feel about you. Anger is almost always a manifestation of fear.

Look at what you are afraid of. Rejection? Closeness? Vulnerability?
Remember we all are scared and "angry" it the ability to change how you feels about yourself that allows you to change how people feel about you!

Give yourself a hug and maybe someone else too.

miko67

Hey thee I've had bad anger issues too, I'm three months on now and km feeling I am calming down a fair bit. Y doing some yoga, going to aa and going through the steps and talking with my sponsor about stuff. It's amazing how much snger I have/had that I was allowing to dominate me, and it's not pleasant I know. I can identify it being a comfort zone , I think this is because we are bare now we have no drink or drugs to mask our feeling. I hope you can break Free of this and this makes sence to you. I for one needed a hand I'm very glad I reached out.
Peace

rennn

yes i also have a lot of anger and resentment or bitterness i would like to heal it, i also used to feel very anxious had panic attacks i eventually healed most of my anxiety and i will never have another panic attack again but lately like the last few months i have been feeling my anger creeping back up within me.

a way to fix this problem or at least it worked for me for around a year and a half until i stopped doing it started drinking too much etc. was eating extremely healthily, getting exercise, sleeping well or as well as possible, look in the mirror and tell yourself positive things all the time, when you feel rage or anxiety/fear welling up inside you take the deepest breath you can in through your nose slowly then hold it for 4 seconds then breath it out through your nose again slowly and hold for 4 seconds then breath in again repeat the process 3 times it gets the oxygen flowing and calms you down. also ask yourself why am i angry or afraid you will realise its not really a big deal most of the time. also meditate everyday if possible clear your mind of the negative thoughts and sit in silence breathing and letting go of all your negativity. do things you love and try to have fun. get sunllight on your skin.

I know i will be doing all the things i just stated above because it works for me and it may work for you too. the mind is capable of amazing things you can heal you can be happy you can live the life you want.

goodluck!

MissingMetaphor

Just do whatever you didn't previously, its never too late to take a differeny approach esp. When you've sacrificed happiness for so long

Joe Nerv

Unfortunately there is no quick fix for the issues we have. Yours is extreme anger, mine was extreme fear (panic and phobias), which are both actually more alike than they seem. I know that these things absolutely heal over time though. We need a few things however. Patience, honesty, willingness, and an open mind.

Early in sobriety I was given the metaphor of having an empty toolbox that needed to be filled. I would accumulate tools and learn how to use them over time. The more I got, and more I used them... well, the better I'd get at my craft.

There are plenty of places to fill such a box, but none I feel that did a better job of it than AA. I was open to tons of free information on a nightly basis, and lots of examples of how to use that information. Got the 12 steps working in my life, started taking vitamin supplements, learned relaxation techniques, learned little phrases that helped me in tough spots, got a sponsor who guided me through things, learned different ways to deal with things, learned how to have a faith in a power greater than myself that is an absolute healing force... could go on and on and on and on.....

We can absolutely be healed of the things that ail us, but not overnight. HOW is the acronym for Honesty, Open mindedness, and Willingness. And with Patience it will happen. I'm repeating myself so I'll stop now.

jfj321

Thank you for your post. Panic Disorder has been so debillitating for me....I want so badly to be 'fixed' so reading what you have written is hugely helpful X

Michael66

Have you considered a 12 step approach legend? That approach deals with anger and resentments (and recognizing any part we played ourselves in them).

Legend40

not as of yet, i am still seeking courage to go into a AA meeting or even call the local hotline

tomsteve

ex rageaholic here. the program of AA helped me see the root of all the anger and resnetments and how to get rid of it.

i sure hope ya get tired enough of beig sick and tired and full of anger to just do it. it'll be the best move ya ever make.

Legend40

still struggling with making it to a meeting, i am deathly scared

ReadyAndAble

My guess is it gets better soon. I think it's kind of like addiction, where admitting the problem and reaching out for help is half the battle. I admire your willingness to take an honest look at yourself, and examine the reasons behind your feelings. Thanks for the inspiration, because I could benefit from some introspection myself right now.