Doogie92

I haven't drank for nine days. I know I can make it the rest of this week without drinking. I still can't imagine NEVER drinking again right now but I'm trying not to think too far into the future and do one day at a time. My friend is having a bachelorette party this weekend at a bar. I can't see myself getting out of going, but I also realize it's going to be EXTREMELY hard not to drink. Any suggestions?

Dee74

I had to make some changes and sacrifices when I got sober doogie.
Too many times I just lived my old life and got sucked back in....

Bachelorette parties are a particular kind of party.
I wouldn't go to one at 9 days sober.

I think there are probably more meaningful things you could do with, and for, your friend.

If you're determined to go, definitely think out strategies for all the likely scenarios - you wanting to drink, people trying to get you to drink, what reason you'll give for not drinking...

keep your own (soft) drink handy

and always have an escape plan for if things get too rough.
Take your own transport.

D

Grungehead

I wouldn't test those waters this early into sobriety. If you HAVE to go I would do as Dee suggests, especially the escape plan.

Turnz505

Just some food for thought.. My last sober stint was ended with me bringing up this same topic in an AA meeting before my buddies came to visit me in Colorado. We had a planned a party, shows and snowboarding. Long story short I got great feedback, had an "escape plan" and got numbers from people at the meeting if I needed to get outa there.. well, I showed up a few days later and told the group I had relapsed. It was simply too easy that early in recovery.. That loss of faith in myself triggered another two months of drunkenness and I am just coming out of that binge.

That was my experience, but I felt the urge to drink and now that I look back I would have had a lot better time with my friends out of town had I stayed sober. I think they would have respected that and I would have a good memory instead of another drunken night and a hangover.. complete strangers are your best friends after some drinks, if they are your friends, they will understand what you're doing and will respect you more for it..

Also, I'm on day 8 so congrats on making it this far, its a pretty good feeling isn't it?? I'm feeling much better earlier than I thought I would

Turnz505

PS- I'm working a seasonal tour job in Alaska right now, living in dorm-style employee housing, lots of partying, and in fact there is a party going on right now above in the upper rec room. Not the ideal place to get sober. I used to be that guy, now I'm down here laming out on a computer on Sober Recovery and even though it sucks I know tomorrow when everyone is hungover I will feel great (we're going whale watching in kenai fjords and watching the glaciers calve, so stoked and I get to enjoy it sober!!). But life is so much better and isn't worth ruining it's quality over a few "good nights" which at least for me, start a chain reaction that always ends the same.

good luck! be strong!!

fantail

Don't do it!!

Normally I would say go with an exit strategy, it'll be good for you. But in your first two weeks? And a bachelorette party of all things? Say you've got food poisoning if you can't tell the truth, but don't do it.

Your head will still be fuzzy because you're not even done with withdrawal yet. You'll feel weird and like you can't be social. Even if you manage not to drink, you'll probably give yourself a very bleak and mistaken view of what it's like to socialize sober.

Those first couple weeks are way too much work to throw away. I know a bachelorette party feels like a big deal, but it's way more important for you to be happy and emotionally present for the wedding.

Threshold

I'd say bow out. They will survive your not being there. your sobriety might not survive it. Tell them you are too sick to go (which is pretty much true right now) and then, if you feel you must, tell them afterwards how sorry you are that you had to miss it (which I am guessing is likewise true). But missing it is probably less a regret than relapsing if you go.

ScottFromWI

If you don't think you can go without drinking, then don't. If you must go, make a concrete plan on when you will arrive, when you will leave and stick to it. If it's like most bachelor/bachelorette parties most of them will be too drunk to even notice you aren't there later on anyway. Show up early while people are still fairly sober and coherent and enjoy it for a little while. Don't overthink things too much ;-)