I can . . .
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
I can . . .
Anybody know where this comes from?
One of the Ala-nannies who chaired had it at the meeting tonight, and asked me to type it up to put in our meeting book, so I have and I was going to put the credit/source on if known. Did not find any matching text searches on the Intertoobs.
Otherwise, just seems like good stuff to put on here.
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I CAN:
Love you but not your behavior.
Support you but not financially.
Be your cheering section but not your dumping ground.
Walk beside you but not lead or push you.
Try to understand but not cover up.
Shelter you from a storm but not yourself.
Work my program but not yours.
Laugh and cry with you but not for you.
Want good things for you but not make it happen.
Respect your trying but not do the work for you.
Wish for the good times but not turn the clock back
Share but not forfeit
One of the Ala-nannies who chaired had it at the meeting tonight, and asked me to type it up to put in our meeting book, so I have and I was going to put the credit/source on if known. Did not find any matching text searches on the Intertoobs.
Otherwise, just seems like good stuff to put on here.
=========================
I CAN:
Love you but not your behavior.
Support you but not financially.
Be your cheering section but not your dumping ground.
Walk beside you but not lead or push you.
Try to understand but not cover up.
Shelter you from a storm but not yourself.
Work my program but not yours.
Laugh and cry with you but not for you.
Want good things for you but not make it happen.
Respect your trying but not do the work for you.
Wish for the good times but not turn the clock back
Share but not forfeit
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
I like it but I don't understand how anyone actually can do this with an active, mean, abusive alcoholic in the house.
I couldn't.
I could no longer allow the whims of an active drunk to run the household.
I could no longer allow an active drunk to wake me and my children up with drunken ranting, singing, stumbling and drunken lighting of late night/early morning cooking fires.
I could no longer allow an active drunk to stomp around believing he was a role model to our children when all he seemed to demonstrate was: daddies drink, take drugs, get fired, crash cars, quit jobs, frighten us, pretend to be sick and don't go to work etc. etc.
There's no serenity in that.
When an alcoholic has taken an entire family hostage and the entire family is suffering financially, emotionally and physically - deprivation of sleep, constant anxiety and constant walking on eggshells from their actions? I can't.
My kids had a PHYSICAL fear response when they heard their father's keys in the front door! They jumped up like little soldiers, like Pavlov's dogs, knowing that daddy's mood could be ANYTHING. They would almost kowtow to him seemingly in the hope that by demonstrating enough admiration, asking about his day and sucking up to him they would be spared a lecture or hoping that their false admiration for his "hard day" would save us all from a drunken ranting and raving session.
I know they say "take what you like and leave the rest". I have to leave stuff like this.
Otherwise I would have ended up like some of the alanon (I like your typo of ala-nannies was it a typo
?) old timer women I have met who are hanging in there and seemingly totally detached but, I don't know which words to use, hard as nails? brittle? simmering below the surface?, seething with unexpressed, repressed anger? Their words say "I love him", but everything else just screams bitterness to me. They scare me. I don't want to be like that when I am 60 something.
I couldn't.
I could no longer allow the whims of an active drunk to run the household.
I could no longer allow an active drunk to wake me and my children up with drunken ranting, singing, stumbling and drunken lighting of late night/early morning cooking fires.
I could no longer allow an active drunk to stomp around believing he was a role model to our children when all he seemed to demonstrate was: daddies drink, take drugs, get fired, crash cars, quit jobs, frighten us, pretend to be sick and don't go to work etc. etc.
There's no serenity in that.
When an alcoholic has taken an entire family hostage and the entire family is suffering financially, emotionally and physically - deprivation of sleep, constant anxiety and constant walking on eggshells from their actions? I can't.
My kids had a PHYSICAL fear response when they heard their father's keys in the front door! They jumped up like little soldiers, like Pavlov's dogs, knowing that daddy's mood could be ANYTHING. They would almost kowtow to him seemingly in the hope that by demonstrating enough admiration, asking about his day and sucking up to him they would be spared a lecture or hoping that their false admiration for his "hard day" would save us all from a drunken ranting and raving session.
I know they say "take what you like and leave the rest". I have to leave stuff like this.
Otherwise I would have ended up like some of the alanon (I like your typo of ala-nannies was it a typo
?) old timer women I have met who are hanging in there and seemingly totally detached but, I don't know which words to use, hard as nails? brittle? simmering below the surface?, seething with unexpressed, repressed anger? Their words say "I love him", but everything else just screams bitterness to me. They scare me. I don't want to be like that when I am 60 something.
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