James18

It's almost like some sick joke. I've said SO MANY TIMES I am gonna stop drinking - one incident after another convinces me I should quit, but I can't even go a week. No one pays any attention to me anymore when I say I wanna quit. I think they think it's just something I say when I'm hung over, but it's not and I'm really struggling with this. Drinking Ruins my personality; I'm argumentative & confrontational, negative, I don't give a **** what I say or who to...In short I don't like being drunk any more and can't stop. I'm not a good drunk these days. What's more my group of friends is the same as me more or less so they don't even notice or care. I/we as a group have had a lot to deal with lately - mental illness, suicides, drug addiction, someone killed someone by accident, family issues...It's all getting heavy and weird and it's starting to get to me. I feel consumed by all this negativity and drinking magnifies it. My girlfriend drinks too but not like I do and she doesn't really understand where I'm coming from with this. I haven't really opened up about my state of mind. I feel like I've got no support.

I know without booze my life would be much better.

nomis

But it's also hard to imagine the rest of your life without it right? How to unwind and decompress after a long day? How to cope with the lousy feelings after all this terrible stuff has gone on in your life? How to have a nice, relaxing vacation in the future without a few drinks in the picture?

Here's the kicker. Once you get sober, believe it or not (and I couldn't believe it, or rather my addiction refused to allow me to believe it) you'll be able to do those things much better than if you're drinking.

Good luck and the best to you!

soberclover

Don't give up James. Life really is better without the drinking and the chaos that comes with it. I'm glad you found SR. I have found a lot of support here.

Louise82

Welcome to SR, James, and thanks for posting. I'm glad you've identified that drinking has become an issue for you and that a life without it would be much better. Just by registering and posting here you're already taking steps towards that sober life. You'll get great support and inspiration here. Read and post here regularly to find out how other people are getting and staying sober and to ask for help as and when you need it.

EverySngleNight

Seems like you've been experiencing serious tragedies. Can you talk to a mental health professional? Seriously, the things you mentioned- too much for anybody to work through alone.

James18

Thanks for the replies everyone. I don't really know what my next step is. Deciding to stop drinking is the easy part I guess. The actual doing it is the hard part.

I've not really considered talking to anyone professional about what's happened to me, I'm usually a pretty optimistic kind of person but it's all crept up on me. Up until now I've not thought I needed to.

I know things will improve greatly once I can cut the booze out and the bad feeling/moods etc. that go with it.

MemphisBlues

For me, in order to get beyond a few weeks of sobriety, I had to just accept things were going to be very uncomfortable for a significant period of time.

I needed support, both professional and peer variety. There are many resources out there if you do a cursory look.

Anna

Hi James and Welcome,

I hope you stop drinking, but it's important to remember that stopping drinking is only the beginning. You need to deal with the underlying issues as well. It sounds like you have a LOT of toxic relationships in your life. I had to make a lot of changes in my life re friends and activities. Early recovery often involves making tough choices about life, and we are here to offer support.

James18

You're right, the next few weeks are gonna be difficult. Things HAVE TO change though.

"Toxic relationships" hits the nail squarely on the head

I've cut a lot of these people out of my life already but am just beginning to realize the relationships I still have aren't great either.

courage2

Hi James & welcome to SR.

It sounds like you're ready to take some real steps. It won't be easy, so you have to be determined and vigilant. What are you willing to do to stay sober?

Here are some things I had to do in early days: rid my physical environment of liquor and stop going places where liquor was served, stop associating with some people completely, tell a couple of other people that I could not drink any more, go to an AA meeting every day (sometimes 2), find someone I could talk to honestly and often about my problem. Trudge through every day sober despite cravings, boredom, and fear.

Is it worth it! YES!

James18

Thanks courage2,that's what I need I think - practical tips for getting me through at least the first few weeks. Suggestions are welcome!

courage2

Glad to be of service. Here's one: sugar helps! (It really does -- carry candy.)

Dee74

welcome back James

D

James18

Thanks Dee. Hopefully I'll stick around a bit longer this time.