notfixable

I need feedback please....so I was raised by an alcoholic mom and due to that I never drank. I have recently started to drink...I have no idea why I just felt like getting drunk one night...I have been pushed away by two people I care about a lot because they are sad and don't want to witness me drink and no apparently that im an alcoholic just from my actions which is bull because me and only me can decide if I am in fact an alcoholic...I myself have pushed people away that are sober or would tell my parents about my drinking...I have had black outs on acation and done some stupid ****...I resently had to miss work because I was to hung over to function...and I understand my mom more than anything right now. I think that is whats scaring me the most...I don't know why im writing this...I guess I know I have a problem when I wake up hungover and wondering why because I forgot how much I drank that night...and then by the time night comes around my head is able to convince me that im too young and I can go a day or two without so im not an alcoholic....alcoholism is the disease of denial...im not in denial I know I have a problem...so that means im not an alcoholic right...this is me this is my head and I don't no what to make of it.

Dee74

Hi notfixable - welcome

sure only you can decide if you're an alcoholic - but if your actions are causing concern to your friends and loved ones, they have a right to respond...

I think other peoples concern, and stuff like this ^, is more enough reason to stop and consider things...

don't get hung up on the label of 'alcoholic'.

You've already said you know you have a problem - great - then it's time to deal with that problem, yeah?

and knowing you have a problem is great - but I don't think knowing that has any bearing on whether you're an alcoholic or not.

I knew I had a problem for years before I finally quit....and I started my addiction journey when I was younger than you.

D

auden67

Not all alcoholics are in denial. Some very much realize they have a problem, but question why they should stop. If you feel like you have to try to control your drinking, it's likely you have a problem with drinking. Alcohol addiction is progressive, so they sooner you stop, the better. Some people learn to moderate; for most abstinence is the most effective way to control drink.

If alcohol makes you upset or shameful, why do you drink it? Do you feel more comfortable when you drink? More confident? Knowing how you feel when you drink might help you understand why you drink too much.

Woozy

I started drinking destructively at 20 and am now 23. My drinking only ever got worse as time went on and I wasn't willing to do anything about it until it got to its worst.

Point is, I'm young too and I had to stop drinking as it was having serious consequences.

Quit while your ahead my friend, drinking only ever gets worse and never better. You have NOTHING to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!

oak

Welcome to SR! I knew at a young age that alcohol was very problematic for me. The stereotype of someone with an alcohol problem is that they drink every day, but lots of people with problems do not drink every day.

You have several red flags around alcohol. I can see why you are concerned. What makes drinking worth it?

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!

Years ago, I went to AA meetings and met a "kid" who was 19, had 4 years of recovery. Yep, he started drinking at 15.

Thing is, his dad was also an alcoholic. Don't remember how many years HE had in recovery, but it was quite a few.

This "kid" grew up knowing all about alcoholism, what it did, yet he thought "it won't happen to ME, I know better".

I agree about the label...if an action is causing bad consequences, it's a problem. Though my DOC (drug of choice) is crack, and I have no problem calling myself a "recovering crackhead", I also have often say "doing that stuff causes me to make really bad decisions".

In other words, it doesn't matter what I call myself. I had a problem that was causing some serious problems. I only wish I'd recognized it when I was younger...could have saved myself a lot of problems.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

GracieLou

I became an alcoholic at 18. I would have been one much sooner but my brother was an alcoholic so, like you, I did not drink. I kept telling myself I was not going to drink or do drugs until the responsibilities fell on me instead of my parents.

When I started the dam opened. In no time I was having black outs.

I knew I had a problem for 26 years. I just did not want to reach out and ask or accept help.

notfixable

thank you guys for your replys and input it helped

medic61310

My age kept me in denial; I've been drinking and drugging since I was 14. At 21 I kept telling myself "If I'm still struggling in a few years, then I'll get help" it took a few times binging and withdrawing to realize that alcohol is no respecter of age.

MythOfSisyphus

Denial is bad, but when you understand the problem and still don't care...well, that's probably even worse. It might be time to stop drinking for a few weeks and just see how you feel about it. Get some perspective.

No one should drink to the point of blacking out- that's a pretty strong indicator that you have a problem. Someone your age should be especially careful.

MrsLamp

Hi there, I knew at 17 when I first started drinking at weekends I had a problem, I also had a Mum who drank and I was very scared at times. I wish I had listened to my instincts and stopped there and then. In my early twenties I went to AA even though I was drinking just couple times a week (two young children) I'll never forget an older man telling me "It WILL get worse". I'm in my 50s now and starting day 1 today, now a daily drunk. What a waste of a lot of my life. All the best to you.

mfanch

My first rehab was at 18. Never too young IMO.

gunther84

Yeah notfixable, I say much of what your written indicates if your not yet a full blown alcoholic, regardless of your age, then you will be in the next few years if you continue drinking. I say this because I exhibited exactly what you described early in my drinking career, and my father and brother are alcoholics...me ages 17-thru 19....black outs, regrettable actions, day long hangovers.

As I got older, 20 thru 25 the consequences of my drinking became worse.....drunken fights, flunked out of college, lost relationships...... and then from 26-30....week long drunks, health consequences, DUI's, unemployable, suicidal.

I was sober for ten years, and things got better fast for me. Since i began drinking again, much of my life has gone to **** in one way or another....I had become a pickle, there is no way I will become a cucumber again, there is no way I can ever handle alcohol....

It sounds to me that your in the early stages of alcoholism similar to mine (and plenty others) who are "alcoholic of that type". You can enjoy similar experiences in your future if you continue to drink. Trust me when I tell you, if you stop now you will be better off throughout your life.....take care.