RDBplus3

That's the way it feels right now, but actually I have gotten back up, and I am writing this post. I had about 3 months completely sober, then my wife went out of town a couple weeks ago, and I let gave that da#n beast in me some alcohol. I drank for a few days, and since then I have been drinking on & off. Nothing terrible has happened..YET..but I can clearly recognize the Danger & Warning signs.
I have re-committed, and now I am STRUGGLING. I drank for 40 years and am new in my sobriety. AVRT calls this ambivalence...my addiction-corrupted programming is SCREAMING for control..In my rightful-thinking mind I KNOW I have to stay sober, and these cravings will subside again and I will be thankful for my sobriety...but right now it is a STRUGGLE.
I do realize I have another component in me...my spiritual connection, which that da#n addict beast wants to block out...so I am praying also...
Thanks to everyone on this site, it has been a lifesaver for me and I am throwing out the lifeline...AGAIN

Opivotal

You're stronger than that voice RDBplus3! Glad to see you back and reaching out.

Jeni26

Glad you're back. You can do this thing...you don't want to wait until something bad happens to prove anything. You know how much we can lose the longer we wait.

Time to get back up. Keep posting. Look into more support if you need to. Do whatever it takes.

We're here for you x

MeSoSober

Sorry you're having such a rough go of it at the moment, but remember that it DOES get better!

What are you doing to beat your cravings? Are you staying busy? Are there meetings you could go to? Do you have an in-person support system?

It's great that you're back here. Wishing you STRENGTH -- you can do this!

least

The more you ignore the voice, the quieter it gets, until finally you won't hear it at all. The only time I think of drinking now is the thought that I'm glad I don't drink anymore. Over three years and feeling better than ever... and I used to think I was hopeless.

SR, my counselor, and my dogs saved me from myself.

RDBplus3

Thank you for your responses and encouragement. I am home now and I have made it through the day without a drink. I cannot drink at home, and I feel relieved and grateful I did not drink. I will say my thankfulness prayer before going to bed.

I keep thinking that I will HAVE to drink tomorrow, but I do recognize it as my addiction craving it, and that small part of my weak rational mind does know that I need to keep committed to staying sober. I recognize it just like the AVRT technique, but I keep feeling like giving up. I may be able to make a meeting in the morning, but I KNOW I will be at my Home Group meeting tomorrow evening. I will post again tomorrow to keep my resolve, and let Sober Recovery help me in my commitment to sobriety.

Pedro1234

Hi RDBplus3 sorry that you are really struggling at the moment Try to stay positive. You can do this. I am sending positive vibes your way.

RDBplus3

Thanks Pedro, your post and your message to me helped me with my confidence that I can do this, and that I want to do this...and to celebrate I have updated my avatar with a picture of my pug, Champ.

Pedro1234

That's the spirit Love the picture of your pug.

Anna

Love your avatar!

Try to remember that the thoughts are just thoughts. They don't control you. You can be aware of them and then let them go.

Delilah1

I did pretty much the same thing at the three month mark, and I am doing the same thing as you, moving forward and taking it one day at a time. Glad you are on here and posting.