Another gift of recovery:)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Another gift of recovery:)
I’ve posted about this, elsewhere, but wanted to post it here to let those who are new to recovery, not yet in recovery, or have been recovering for a while see how things really do work out!
Six years ago, I had lost my nursing career to addiction. I contemplated going back to school, something else in healthcare but not dealing with patients. For about 2 years, I thought about it. Filled with shame, regret, etc. over how I messed up, I didn’t feel like I was “worthy” of trying something new.
Finally signed up with an online school and there were no deadlines, I didn’t put much effort into it and then found out it wasn’t accredited with the organization I need for certification. Waste of time and money.
I then researched schools, found one that would work, and applied for financial aid. I had done tremendous damage to my financial situation and having to ask for financial aid was humbling, to say the least.
((Anvilhead)) and others here can attest to my procrastination in the beginning, my whining, my panic every single test/semester, etc.
I worked at McDonald’s for a couple of years, had a nice little part time job that I lost when the company got bought out. Quit McD’s when I found my backbone again and realized I did NOT have to be verbally abused by a manager.
Panicked over being unemployed, but it gave me time to finish up my last semester and spend quality time with my sick kitty (Elvis) who I had to put down a month after I finished school. At the time, I was in full panic mode, but now I see things worked out like they should.
I now work as a caregiver for clients who have alzheimers and am back to reminding myself that I have to set boundaries.
I graduated, this past Thursday, with honors! I am studying for my certification test next month. This field is hard to get into without experience, but with all I’ve gotten through in the past 6 years? I’m not really worried. As long as I keep doing the “next right thing” stuff works out, though granted it’s not nearly as fast as I would like it to!
I am still going to have to answer questions about why I left nursing. My license shows “lapsed” but there are several former employers who will say “no, we would not rehire her”. This used to put me in a panic. Today? I’ve got a lot of good references, personal and professional. I am no longer wearing the “badge of guilt” about what I did. It’s in the past, and to be honest, I’m a better person for what I went through.
Soooooo, to all those who struggle with “is THIS all there is to recovery?!?!” as I did? Bad days come and go. Life throws us some heavy curve balls some times. Getting through those times and not using/drinking makes us stronger, though it sometimes takes a while to see that.
I’m sorry this is so long, but I would not be where I am today, if it weren’t for all of you. When I walked across that stage, you were all with me, so thank you
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Six years ago, I had lost my nursing career to addiction. I contemplated going back to school, something else in healthcare but not dealing with patients. For about 2 years, I thought about it. Filled with shame, regret, etc. over how I messed up, I didn’t feel like I was “worthy” of trying something new.
Finally signed up with an online school and there were no deadlines, I didn’t put much effort into it and then found out it wasn’t accredited with the organization I need for certification. Waste of time and money.
I then researched schools, found one that would work, and applied for financial aid. I had done tremendous damage to my financial situation and having to ask for financial aid was humbling, to say the least.
((Anvilhead)) and others here can attest to my procrastination in the beginning, my whining, my panic every single test/semester, etc.
I worked at McDonald’s for a couple of years, had a nice little part time job that I lost when the company got bought out. Quit McD’s when I found my backbone again and realized I did NOT have to be verbally abused by a manager.
Panicked over being unemployed, but it gave me time to finish up my last semester and spend quality time with my sick kitty (Elvis) who I had to put down a month after I finished school. At the time, I was in full panic mode, but now I see things worked out like they should.
I now work as a caregiver for clients who have alzheimers and am back to reminding myself that I have to set boundaries.
I graduated, this past Thursday, with honors! I am studying for my certification test next month. This field is hard to get into without experience, but with all I’ve gotten through in the past 6 years? I’m not really worried. As long as I keep doing the “next right thing” stuff works out, though granted it’s not nearly as fast as I would like it to!
I am still going to have to answer questions about why I left nursing. My license shows “lapsed” but there are several former employers who will say “no, we would not rehire her”. This used to put me in a panic. Today? I’ve got a lot of good references, personal and professional. I am no longer wearing the “badge of guilt” about what I did. It’s in the past, and to be honest, I’m a better person for what I went through.
Soooooo, to all those who struggle with “is THIS all there is to recovery?!?!” as I did? Bad days come and go. Life throws us some heavy curve balls some times. Getting through those times and not using/drinking makes us stronger, though it sometimes takes a while to see that.
I’m sorry this is so long, but I would not be where I am today, if it weren’t for all of you. When I walked across that stage, you were all with me, so thank you
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
((Amy)) Thank you for posting your journey. You are an inspiration to so many members struggling to get back up and try again.
The only person that can hold you back is yourself! Congratulations, I'm humbled by your strength and perseverance.
The only person that can hold you back is yourself! Congratulations, I'm humbled by your strength and perseverance.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
Thank you Amy for posting your story. I am truly inspired. I work with Alz patients also. They teach me a lot. I got out of the corporate world which personally brought me down, couple years back. Had a year of unemployement, doing courses etc, feeling very lost. I've now fallen into the most wonderful job - I have never been this happy at work. I'm grateful to be where I am in all areas of life now. (I'm only 3 months sober) and already my life has changed dramatically in all areas. I'm pushing myself out there unlike never before.
With your new qualification, will you be going to a new line of work? or continuing caring for alz clients?
Very best wishes and your story gives me so much hope. Thank you
With your new qualification, will you be going to a new line of work? or continuing caring for alz clients?
Very best wishes and your story gives me so much hope. Thank you
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 179
Thank you for this. I have been sober a short time and I lapse into the guilt and shame of my actions and how I've totally ruined my life. I am slowly feeling better but lapse into depression on occasion about my situation, which by-the-way is improving. I have heard other stories like yours and it's always good to be reminded that there is hope.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,522
You already know how proud I am, Amy. What a journey you have had.
I joined SR just a month before you. I was still drinking, and not quite ready to let go of it....you were one of the people who convinced me I could. You're an amazing person who has helped many of us. Thank you for being so open and caring - you've made a huge difference to in my life.
What a journey you have had.I joined SR just a month before you. I was still drinking, and not quite ready to let go of it....you were one of the people who convinced me I could. You're an amazing person who has helped many of us. Thank you for being so open and caring - you've made a huge difference to in my life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Tammy)) - I'll be going into another field, but I'm sure I'll still spend time with my clients and their families as they are like an extended family.
Got another surprise today. Years ago, let a cell phone bill go into collections because I was too busy smoking crack to worry about anything like that!
Today, got approved with the same company? I also am with the same car insurance company that I had 1 car totaled, 2 "stolen" (rented and not returned) in 3 months because enough time had passed and I'd stayed out of trouble.
Some consequences take time to get past, some we never get past (nursing career is done, I can't get back time I didn't spend with family, etc.) but I whined forEVER about how I'd never get past the damned consequences, and I am. So are a lot of other people, so just remember...tough times don't last, tough people do
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Got another surprise today. Years ago, let a cell phone bill go into collections because I was too busy smoking crack to worry about anything like that!
Today, got approved with the same company? I also am with the same car insurance company that I had 1 car totaled, 2 "stolen" (rented and not returned) in 3 months because enough time had passed and I'd stayed out of trouble.
Some consequences take time to get past, some we never get past (nursing career is done, I can't get back time I didn't spend with family, etc.) but I whined forEVER about how I'd never get past the damned consequences, and I am. So are a lot of other people, so just remember...tough times don't last, tough people do
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Amy, you know that I couldn't be more proud of you. 
Your perseverance and determination have gotten you to this point and I know that you will find the perfect job for yourself. You are such a great inspiration. (((Amy)))
Your perseverance and determination have gotten you to this point and I know that you will find the perfect job for yourself. You are such a great inspiration. (((Amy)))
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
