I'm Quitting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 93
I'm Quitting
My first post on this site was about three days ago and I was quite ambivalent about quitting. I knew I needed to, and I knew I should, but I did not want to. I'm not sure if my attitude has really changed, but for some reason I feel compelled to try quitting once again.
In college I was drinking a fifth of whiskey a day. In the morning before class, in the bathrooms before or after class. The only place I did not drink was at work, but I did drink before work. It was a TV station, so I was handling very expensive equipment, but what made it incredibly stupid was that I occasionally had to drive myself and coworkers around in our vans. Anyways, since then I've tried to avoid having liquor in my house because I will drink all of it. With beer I'm eventually forced to stop after a case because my body just cannot handle more liquid or carbonation. This weekend I was gifted a big bottle of bourbon from my cousin who is unaware of my drinking problem. I instantly started drinking way too much. On Monday I woke up in my jeans and sweatshirt. It's not rare that I don't remember going to sleep, but to just pass out in my clothes... that was a first. Instead of being scared I woke up and saw a few swigs left in my glass, so I drank that, was almost late to work and basically napped until lunch. I did the same thing that night, except I Skyped with my mother for Mother's Day, then placed a phone call to my girlfriend. I barely remember starting the conversation on Skype, and do not recall at all the phone conversation with my girlfriend. Luckily she assured me that our conversation was fine, and that I didn't report anything strange about my conversation with my mother. Anyways, I spent the whole day feeling really disgusted with myself and just kinda scared about how out of control I was (I did nothing "out of control" but if I had I wouldn't have known). I still drank that night but today... For some reason I decided enough was enough.
So thank you to the forum members. I'm not exactly sure what changed my attitude. I think being able to just express myself without fear of judgment has been helpful. Also hearing that other people have been successful... just that knowledge is really helpful. If I think about what I'm doing, I get scared and start feeling hopeless. But per the advice of many I will not consider tomorrow or the long haul, just today.
Question: I see groups like, "Sober Class of June 2012". How do I find a group of quitters from this month? I think that would be really useful.
In college I was drinking a fifth of whiskey a day. In the morning before class, in the bathrooms before or after class. The only place I did not drink was at work, but I did drink before work. It was a TV station, so I was handling very expensive equipment, but what made it incredibly stupid was that I occasionally had to drive myself and coworkers around in our vans. Anyways, since then I've tried to avoid having liquor in my house because I will drink all of it. With beer I'm eventually forced to stop after a case because my body just cannot handle more liquid or carbonation. This weekend I was gifted a big bottle of bourbon from my cousin who is unaware of my drinking problem. I instantly started drinking way too much. On Monday I woke up in my jeans and sweatshirt. It's not rare that I don't remember going to sleep, but to just pass out in my clothes... that was a first. Instead of being scared I woke up and saw a few swigs left in my glass, so I drank that, was almost late to work and basically napped until lunch. I did the same thing that night, except I Skyped with my mother for Mother's Day, then placed a phone call to my girlfriend. I barely remember starting the conversation on Skype, and do not recall at all the phone conversation with my girlfriend. Luckily she assured me that our conversation was fine, and that I didn't report anything strange about my conversation with my mother. Anyways, I spent the whole day feeling really disgusted with myself and just kinda scared about how out of control I was (I did nothing "out of control" but if I had I wouldn't have known). I still drank that night but today... For some reason I decided enough was enough.
So thank you to the forum members. I'm not exactly sure what changed my attitude. I think being able to just express myself without fear of judgment has been helpful. Also hearing that other people have been successful... just that knowledge is really helpful. If I think about what I'm doing, I get scared and start feeling hopeless. But per the advice of many I will not consider tomorrow or the long haul, just today.
Question: I see groups like, "Sober Class of June 2012". How do I find a group of quitters from this month? I think that would be really useful.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,965
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