Hope4Bella

I am so angry at myself for I had joined this site & REALLY felt so much better just being on here & sharing, listening & getting to a better place for myself...then I somehow shut back down & out from everything. I guess I ran back to my safe place...denial... my daughter has taken a much longer road than I expected and has become someone I do not know anymore... this Mother's Day kind of gave me a reality check... she is NOT that lil babygirl anymore & I need to work on healing myself somewhat again...Everyone I know keeps suggesting the Alanon or Narnon mtgs however I still do not see how it helps me & I seriously HATE going ...

This site is where I feel safe & I have a chance at some actual help ..I am so sorry that I can't seem to remember that when I need this the most... so I am here now..& knowing we all want the same thing somehow I HOPE I can stick with you all this time ..

Guess I really believed that when I signed up in 2012 that I would actually not have reason to be on here still (or to have stayed ..) I am thankful for all of you & once I get home this evening I plan on getting back online & start to heal... Thanks for having me back...

Ann

I'm another mom who wanted so much for my son to be the good person I remembered and it just didn't work out that way. It breaks our heart to watch the child we love destroy themselves with drugs, and I pray your daughter finds a better path soon.

I have no words to help you but send hugs from my heart to yours, mama to mama.

Hugs and Hugs

Hope4Bella

and I thank you Ann...as I send hugs back... it is SO painful and I cry so much everyday.. I also pray for you and your family as we all stick together and hope

Ann

I keep hope in a special place in my heart, right between love and faith. As long as I draw a breath, I shall hope.

What helps me get through my days is to say a prayer each morning and give my son's care to God, and then trust that and spend the rest of the day finding joy and beauty in every sunrise and living my life well...as life was intended to be lived. It took me a long time to get to this good place, but I could no longer live in the darkness of fear. Faith is my light today, as long as I keep my faith my world will never be dark.

Hugs

Kindeyes

Welcome back hope4bella.....I always hope that when people leave SR it's because things are good.....but that's simply not always the case.I'm glad you feel safe here. There's a lot of mothers here who understand your fear and anguish.

I do understand your feelings about Al-Anon and Nar-Anon. I felt the same way for quite a long time. I was an occasional visitor to those rooms.....I didn't "get it" and I didn't "connect". It wasn't until I reached a point so very low that I decided to stop trying to understand and I'd just do what I was told to do. I trusted the process. It saved my life and my sanity.

Just like the addict, I wasn't ready until I was ready.

I love Brene Brown (author, researcher, and storyteller). She talks about her breakdown which she eventually decides is actually a spiritual awakening.....a turning point. I had to reach that point of being so very broken before I was ale to be ready, willing and able to rebuild myself from the foundation up.

We are here. We care. We are walking with you.

gentle hugs from another mother
ke