Shattered5300

ive been sober for 21 days and everyone keeps telling me to go to meetings get a sponsor reach out to people but what i dont get is no matter how much i reach out no matter how much i talk or go to meetings the addiction will still be there....... what do u do about that?

ivegotsunshine

It might still be there but it might be easier to deal with when you can talk to people who understand what you are going through. Sobriety is a wonderful thing but at times can be lonely and confusing. I'm sure your friends just wnt you to be happy. Congrats on your sober time!!

neferkamichael

Shattered, 21 days sober? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Why don't you just keep doing whatever it is that you have been doing to stay sober. Rootin for ya.

AugustWest11

Congrats on 21 days

visch1

Hi and hang in there. Many of us handle the addiction by NOT picking up the first drink. It's that simple. I go to AA to learn about how to live sober. The big thing was getting honest with myself and learn how to NOT listen the shite fairy always living in my head submerged and ready to indicate that I can drink because......................You have choices and I got nowhere trying the easier softer way to sobriety. It's simple but not always easy. We have to man up.. BE WELL

Anna

Congratulations on 21 days!

When I reached out, I reached for books. My self-esteem was so very low and I had no boundaries in my life. I allowed myself to be pushed around and manipulated. So, I had to learn how to deal with those issues in my life. That's how I dealt with the addiction, which was a symptom of my dysfunctional life.

When you stop drinking, that's the beginning. Then you need to work on the underlying issues in your life that caused the drinking. Reaching out can help you to do that.

Bruce292

We can never really run away from ourselves. We can move to a new house, get a new job, find new friends but wherever we go our brains are there constantly chattering away. For me, dealing with addiction is trying to face myself and trying to make peace with what I find. I'm no expert at this but so far it has worked. One baby step at a time. Hang in there and don't give up!

OneLessLonely

Grats on 21 days! I think as more and more sober time goes by, the addiction becomes easier to manage, but never goes away 100%. So reaching out when you're struggling, helps keeps you sober, so you can get that time under your belt. If you don't reach out, you may be more likely to relapse, and then you never get enough sober time to steady you. So good job for reaching out here! And welcome to SR. Keep reading and learning from the so many people here who are succeeding in leading happy sober lives.

Threshold

Well, the addiction may still be there, but I don't have to call it up everyday, make love to it, entertain it or write sonnets to it. I haven't been able to shake my pony tail at it and make it disappear a la Jeannie, but I've been able to get on with my life.

Making new healthy relationships does help us move on from the old abusive ones. And over time our relationship with our addiction and DOC alters, drastically, and we find we just don't go there anymore.

2granddaughters

That's a great question to bring up at the meeting and to your sponsor !

Ask the oldtimers at the meetings where their addiction is now and you'll learn a lot about recovery.

All the best.

Bob R