glider

Hi everyone, please excuse me as I just ramble, but I just need to download as my wife settles into a 10mth rehab program. I dont now what to say or where to start,I dont know what to do with all the pain from the last few yrs,I dont know how to take my wifes angry phone calls since she has been in there,so manny times I have found myself in tears scared of what next,and seeing my wife this way just breaks me inside,is it normal what I feel,is there a light ahead.

fantail

Hi Glider, welcome.

Good job and thank you for getting your wife the help she needs. She might be angry on the phone but I hope in the future she understands the gift you've given her.

In the meantime, are you seeing a counselor or participating in any support groups? Now that she's physically safe, it would be a good idea to take some of your energy back from her and put it towards your own recovery.

(Also, check out the friends & family forums too):
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

fantail

Also, I think it's normal to feel what you're feeling. I helped someone I loved get into counseling for serious mental health and substance abuse issues. It was so chaotic and dramatic and draining ... I remember when he finally began and it was no longer my sole responsibility, I felt drained, empty, and sad as heck. The immediate task of protecting him was over and so for the first time I noticed just how messed up I'd become. It was a really, really raw and difficult time in my life.

I didn't deal with it, I just swept it under the rug and a few years later I found myself an alcoholic. I wish I had put in the time to work through the experience.

glider

thank you for hearing my heart fantail,it was so uplifting just to know somebody heard my scream and with a few carefuly chosen words I was able to find my peace again,THANK YOU FANTAIL,,GLIDER.

Sinderos

You should check out AlaNon. It's a support group for family/friends of alcoholics and/or drug addicts. I've been because my son is an addict and found it very helpful.

Anna

Welcome!

I hope that your wife deals with her addiction, and you could find support here and at AlAnon.

Received

Hi glider.

I know this is a world of hurt and confusion for you. It's important to take care of yourself, too. Therapy, Alanon, posting in our friends and family forum, etc.