Reading helpful stuff here! Finally posting.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: U.S.
Posts: 130
Reading helpful stuff here! Finally posting.
There is so much helpful posts and info here. I finally joined and am posting for the first time to say hello and thanks already for really educational things I've read.
I was a pretty minimal social drinker until about 7 years ago when I started having a couple glasses of wine to unwind after work when I took a stressful job with erratic hours. It progressed from there.
It's Day 1 again for me. It was Day 1 last Sunday, too. I got to Day 6 and started questioning the value of counting days. Next thing I know I was having a couple glasses of wine at dinner. I stopped at 2, but I was really annoyed with myself.
I haven't had any major effects from not drinking other than 1 anxiety or panic attack on Day 4 that may or may not be related. Even though I may not be paying the price of a serious withdrawal, I know there is a cost I am paying if I continue to drink. It's a laundry list of costs, and at the top of the list are the various health consequences I've begiu to notice and the stupifying and frustrating brain fog I get into after drinking. I cannot live with the "I feel lost and don't know where to start" feeling that I get from alcohol ripping my brain to shreds. Waking up at 3am with or without anxiety only contributes to that from lack of REM sleep. Worsened hot flashes. Eyes that occasionally look glassy and unclear (more recently). Intestinal issues that I finally realized were the direct result of alcohol. Somehow I seem to forget all that come 5pm or after the first glass. Actually, from reading SR I have a much better understanding of why that happens. I still need to find a system for remembering it day in and day out.
I'm concerned about whether I'm fully committed to not drinking permanently, and that I am allowing for the possibility that at some point I can drink occasionally. Like you haven't heard that before. I'm highly achievement oriented but I definitely fall short of being a perfectionist. My mother quit drinking cold turkey decades ago, solo with no support. I'm not going to assume that I can just do that, too. I'm going to continue reading SR and maybe partipate some. I know I need and want to keep busy, too.
I think it would be helpful to picture those situations in which I would be most likely to let myself drink and imagine myself in them not drinking and doing whatever I would otherwise be doing in them (aside from drinking).
I was a pretty minimal social drinker until about 7 years ago when I started having a couple glasses of wine to unwind after work when I took a stressful job with erratic hours. It progressed from there.
It's Day 1 again for me. It was Day 1 last Sunday, too. I got to Day 6 and started questioning the value of counting days. Next thing I know I was having a couple glasses of wine at dinner. I stopped at 2, but I was really annoyed with myself.
I haven't had any major effects from not drinking other than 1 anxiety or panic attack on Day 4 that may or may not be related. Even though I may not be paying the price of a serious withdrawal, I know there is a cost I am paying if I continue to drink. It's a laundry list of costs, and at the top of the list are the various health consequences I've begiu to notice and the stupifying and frustrating brain fog I get into after drinking. I cannot live with the "I feel lost and don't know where to start" feeling that I get from alcohol ripping my brain to shreds. Waking up at 3am with or without anxiety only contributes to that from lack of REM sleep. Worsened hot flashes. Eyes that occasionally look glassy and unclear (more recently). Intestinal issues that I finally realized were the direct result of alcohol. Somehow I seem to forget all that come 5pm or after the first glass. Actually, from reading SR I have a much better understanding of why that happens. I still need to find a system for remembering it day in and day out.
I'm concerned about whether I'm fully committed to not drinking permanently, and that I am allowing for the possibility that at some point I can drink occasionally. Like you haven't heard that before. I'm highly achievement oriented but I definitely fall short of being a perfectionist. My mother quit drinking cold turkey decades ago, solo with no support. I'm not going to assume that I can just do that, too. I'm going to continue reading SR and maybe partipate some. I know I need and want to keep busy, too.
I think it would be helpful to picture those situations in which I would be most likely to let myself drink and imagine myself in them not drinking and doing whatever I would otherwise be doing in them (aside from drinking).
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Harvestqueen 
I flitted between being fully committed to permanent abstinence and thinking I could drink someday for a long time. I think I am still ambiguous about it in a way. But I used a method to help me quit called AVRT and that deals very effectively with those ambiguous thoughts. It is so simple and obvious in a way but it totally threw me that I had any thoughts about drinking and that if they were there then I had to act on them. Google the crash course on AVRT if you are interested, and there is a lot of information on it here in the secular connections forum.
I found I needed a lot of support too and there is no shame in that. I am still learning that because I am not the sort of person to ask for help when I need it (pride..) but it really is the sensible thing to do. If you make staying sober your number one priority and do everything you need to to support that then you should be okay x
Originally Posted by harvestqueen 
I'm concerned about whether I'm fully committed to not drinking permanently, and that I am allowing for the possibility that at some point I can drink occasionally. Like you haven't heard that before. I'm highly achievement oriented but I definitely fall short of being a perfectionist. My mother quit drinking cold turkey decades ago, solo with no support. I'm not going to assume that I can just do that, too. I'm going to continue reading SR and maybe partipate some. I know I need and want to keep busy, too.
I found I needed a lot of support too and there is no shame in that. I am still learning that because I am not the sort of person to ask for help when I need it (pride..) but it really is the sensible thing to do. If you make staying sober your number one priority and do everything you need to to support that then you should be okay x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: U.S.
Posts: 130
Thank you for the encouragement and helpful responses. I intend to stick around here and keep reading to learn more and stay focused.
I just saw there is a May class. I will look into that if anyone can join. I am unsure as exactly where to post but I don't really have a lot to post right now anyway.
Day 2 - Tonight I ate a healthy dinner as usual. I was more hungry than normal so I had more vegetables. (I already had pretty good eating habits, always drink a lot of tap water, and take vitamins.) I have been having sugar cravings so I had some fruit for that. Then I took a long bath with lavender and orange to relax. I find that the bath helps in a lot of ways. It is more relaxing than a shower, it passes the time while being functional (I get clean!), and I caught up on the news on my phone since I am usually not home in time to watch news.
I've been pretty tired and I read that is normal so I am trying to go along with what my body needs.
I just saw there is a May class. I will look into that if anyone can join. I am unsure as exactly where to post but I don't really have a lot to post right now anyway.
Day 2 - Tonight I ate a healthy dinner as usual. I was more hungry than normal so I had more vegetables. (I already had pretty good eating habits, always drink a lot of tap water, and take vitamins.) I have been having sugar cravings so I had some fruit for that. Then I took a long bath with lavender and orange to relax. I find that the bath helps in a lot of ways. It is more relaxing than a shower, it passes the time while being functional (I get clean!), and I caught up on the news on my phone since I am usually not home in time to watch news.
I've been pretty tired and I read that is normal so I am trying to go along with what my body needs.
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