zorah

I've been away for awhile--trying to stay sober, moving, dealing with mental health issues, etc. I'm about 9 months sober now. The first six months, as bad as they were, seemed somehow easier than the last three. Part of the problem is that I've sloughed off on my meetings a bit. Already, my mind is starting to chat about how I could probably drink responsibly again, that my alcoholism didn't get to the worst stage so there's some wriggle room. I know this is false but you know the chatter. This alone is telling me to get to a meeting which I will tonight.

But I'm wondering from all of you--what are your signs. Like I'm so squirrely today I have to hide from people and agitated and depressed--all at once. I thought, oh, this is the new medication I'm on or, the mental issues I'm dealing with. But I wonder if it's the lapse in meetings. the first year is rocky right?

Hope you're all well. I need to stay in better touch!


Zorah

doggonecarl

If I'm thinking about drinking, I'm slacking off on my recovery. That's how I know.

deeker

When you have relapsed in your mind the drink isn't far away. You know how many you need. Pay attention to that level of peace. How many were you doing when your level of serenity was high? That is ur answer.

Anna

I don't use meetings, but balance is central to my recovery.

If I get off-balance, I notice it within a day or two.

Just recently, my son and 3 yr old granddaughter visited us for a week and it was AWESOME, but, I neglected my few minutes of 'me time' here and there throughout the day. I found that my mind started speeding up and just felt uncomfortable. So, it was time to fine-tune the balancing again.

1newcreation

Hi Zorah,
The fact that you have said you haven't been going to meetings, tells you right there you need to get back in the driver's seat & go to 2-3/day if you can. I've been called in to work today for the first time in bout 3 wks, so all I've been doing is going to meetings, 12 stepping newbies & reading lit @ home. I know this disease will talk to me the min I slack off. I URGE you to go to 1 Asap & share how u feel & more than likely, u'll not be the only 1 in the room feeling that way

Dee74

Balance is key for me too - if I'm spread myself too thin, the first thing that usually goes is me taking adequate care of me.

I'm glad you're recognising your danger signs and doing something about it, Zorah

D

Grungehead

Zorah,

Pretty much everything you listed would happen to me when I needed to go to a meeting. AA happens to be my recovery method for alcoholism. I relapsed after 7 years of sobriety and I stopped going to meetings after 5 years. Somehow I was able to ignore the mental relapses for 2 years before I started drinking again so I had plenty of time to get back to meetings but chose not to. I'm glad you aren't as hard headed as me and realize that you need to stay in recovery to stay sober. Alcoholism is an incurable disease, but as long as we treat it we can live sober happy lives. I chose to stop treating my alcoholism and I paid dearly for it.

tomsteve

" Like I'm so squirrely today I have to hide from people and agitated and depressed--all at once. I thought, oh, this is the new medication I'm on or, the mental issues I'm dealing with. But I wonder if it's the lapse in meetings. the first year is rocky right?"

thats a sign for me. yup, the 1st year can be pretty rocky...or a rollercoaster. up one day downt he next. as time has passed,the highs and lows of the coaster have gotten closer together. meetings were very important for me for quite some time.
how to achieve balance...i learned by goin to meetings.

ShawnM

Don't be too hard on yourself. Nine months is awesome! Whatever program one chooses, I think balance is crucial too. Life is full of ups and downs for everyone. As an alcoholic with an addictive personality I want to escape bad situations and feelings instead of dealing with them. Also, in recovery it can take at least a year or two for the mind and body to start working right and depending on one's own situation up to another five or more to get settled into a manageable life. Be well.
ShawnM
Sober date 12-21-08

instant

I conceptualise it is as "being centred" in my recovery when I am as far away from drinking as I can be.

Knowing when I am not centred- even only by a small degree is important. Knowing what helps you get back to a good place is what needs to be implemented.

Getting back on track for me usually means not rushing to the future in my mind, slowing down more and taking time to listen, and watch without judgement- and to refocus on what I am thankful for.

DisplacedGRITS

I know it's bad when i find myself wanting to isolate. I'm averaging 5-6 meetings a week right now and i know i'm in need of a meeting when i start thinking that i don't need to go. When i start putting other things above my recovery, i need to hit a meeting.

sugarbear1

I don't need a meeting if I am working on a relationship with a power greater than I. I do, however, know my motives for attending a meeting.

GivenThisDay

Hello everyone!
I just signed up on this site, not quite sure how to get around, but happy to be here. Linda

ShawnM

Welcome Linda. I just joined too. Has been very helpful for me.