lovesunandsnow

After having NC from EX-ABF since last September 2012 and me moving on to rebuilding my life I am going into another round of feeling sad all the time.

Some of it I guess is I have been in to just so busy moving forward in survival mode since last year I’m starting to feel un resolved feelings again. Plus I have been having health issues, with a new job that has a lot of pressure to perform well and now every night nightmares of what I was lived with.

An alcoholic that treated me awful, with feeling bad about me that I did things so out of character I didn’t know who’d I’d become, I mean it didn’t start out that way, but nothing starts the same as it ends!

I guess what I really want to know is if anyone else out there after a period of time away from their ex-a started having nightmares about what took place? It’s like my mind is now ready to process a little at a time but I wake up like I didn’t sleep from the mental stress all over.

I feel like I’ve been in a war and now the war is coming back to hurt me all over. I’m starting to think this is part of my health issues with the major migraines, anxiety and the constant un-comfortableness being anywhere but home sometimes but even then I don’t feel comfort and that makes me sad too.

Has anyone else felt this way?

cr995

yes I have been having nightmares about the A for some time now, they are not as awful as they were last year. But they can make me feel quite awful when I wake up and colour my morning. I also more or less have nc with stbxa and i think in a way its our mind substituting something in there because there is such a vacuum. I do look forward to having nice dreams about something else though!!

peacedove

not having nightmares but the dreams have been hitting and waking me up in the night. i don't like it. NC, i know nothing and in the beginning i was sleeping better. then these dreams started. i actually wondered if all the reading, processing, education on A and A, working on me is what made the dreams start. does that sound nutty or what?? it peeves me in a way because it's no way to wake up at all! don't really know why it's happening but if someone out there does then please do tell!

wicked

I am not a doctor, but when I described these same symptoms to my psychiatrist (being treated for major depressive disorder) he said it was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic, he was a scary man. My nightmares involved being in a dark place, feeling unsafe and nowhere to go.

Have you been to any AlAnon meetings? Those who have been where you are understand. Also, if it continues to interfere with your normal life, please consider seeing a specialist about your nightmares and sleep disturbances.

Yes, I think it is a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances, and luckily there are people out there who are willing and able to help you.

Beth

peacedove

yes. i thought of PTSD and also how subconscious thoughts come in to play. thanks wicked.